River Trip To San Francisco

In 2007 my nephew Jim Berry was having a May wedding in the San Francisco area and I wondered if it was possible to arrive there via boat, picking up family as close as we could to where they lived.  After researching the matter and finding it indeed possible I posted the route on the Johnson family blog.  Here is what I found  (map at bottom of post):

We undo the mooring ropes of the Jimmy B. at Lake Macatawa in Holland (after the Kuipers arrive down the Grand River from Grand Rapids), head out the channel to Lake Michigan and go south to Saugatuck where we venture up the Kalamazoo River, past Kalamazoo, to Galesburg, and then back through Kalamazoo to Lake Michigan. We then beeline across the lake to Milwaukee, turning south to the Navy Pier in Chicago, and then down the Chicago Sanitary Canal to the Des Plains River. 

Near Joliet we pick up the Illinois River, winding our way south through Peoria to just north of St. Louis. At that point we pick up the Mississippi River south for a short distance before heading west on the Missouri River, winding through Missouri to Kansas City where the Missouri River heads north along the Missouri/Kansas border, north along the Missouri/Nebraska border, and when we get to the northern part of Missouri we take a short detour up the Nishnabotna River which gets us to a few miles from Sidney, Iowa. 

Retracing our route south to the Missouri River we then head north to just below Omaha, Nebraska, picking up the Platte River. The Platte River will take us west, through Kearney, through North Platte, then into Colorado and onto Denver. 

Once again we retrace our route east to pick up the Missouri River again, go north, past Omaha and head to Pierre, South Dakota, then to Bismark, North Dakota, then northwest to Great Falls, Montana. At Great Falls we need to pick up the Jefferson River south to Beaver head River to New Hawkins Lake. There is a little tributary from New Hawkins Lake in Montana to the Lemhi Pass, which is 8000 feet high. 

At this point we need to carry our boat a few miles over the pass, into Idaho, to pick up a tributary which flows into the Salmon River in Idaho. We should be ready for the portage at this point because there are about 200 dams we had to go around on the Missouri River to get this far so we have had plenty of practice. Hopefully we picked up a lot of family along the way for just this occasion. 

Anyway, the Salmon River goes northwest and meets up with the Snake River on the Oregon border. We still head north through Idaho to Washington where we pick up the Columbia River which goes west and exits into the Pacific Ocean. Next we need to go south to California and dock nearest to where the wedding will be. Once there we break up the boat for firewood and have a grand bonfire before the wedding. One note, in order to make it in time we need to leave on January 15.

This lead to a subsequent post:

Easter on the Jimmy B

I talked to Holli today and she wanted me to let everyone know how things were going on our boat excursion West. Here is my report:

Spring has come in all its glory. The 1st wildflowers are visible along the river banks, bugs of all sizes and colors dart to and fro over the placid, sun baked river surface, and river dolphins jump playfully over our wake.

 When my great great grandfather, Captain Joseph LaBarge, piloted his steam powered paddle boats along the Missouri River, they would have to replenish their fuel by stopping at wood piles along the way. This could be dangerous because Indians knew that these were good locations for an ambush. In the years since the mid 1800's the tribes have become much more sophisticated in their tactics, making riverboats anchored at major port cities into gambling establishments. So far our intrepid group has managed to escape with our lives. 

We are in Montana now and while docking for supplies I took a side trip South to a town called LaBarge, Wyoming. During WWII my uncle Jack was on a troop train going West and the train made a very short stop at LaBarge. He jumped out of the train and ran into the nearest bar and asked the bartender "Are there any LaBarges here?" The bartender replied "See that large oak tree out front?  Hung a LaBarge on that tree last week." At that point my uncle spun around and trotted back to the train. 

My brother Jim, not deterred by our uncles experience, visited there a couple years ago. He went to the local library to read about the towns history. Seems that at one time oil was discovered there and the name of the town was changed to Oil City. When the oil ran out the town fathers, in their great wisdom, changed the name once again to LaBarge. 

When I got back to the boat I thought about how the route we are taking is very much the same as that traveled at the start of the 1800's by Lewis and Clark. Lewis would ride the boat while the crew would pull or pole the boat upstream. Clark however would walk the entire way. On the Jimmy B. the captain is called behind his back, the Lord High Commander. He has been known to enforce discipline by making certain passengers get out of the boat. We call that "Doing a Clark." If they have to jump in the water to push us off a sandbar we call that "Doing a Clark bar." We find humor where ever we can after several long months on the river.

One last post went with  this series:

 THE WRECK OF THE JIMMY B. sung by Gordon Lightfoot

Twas the seventh of May
we had traveled all day
down the lake they call Pac-if-a-goo-me

Our spirits were high
not a cloud in the sky
we were getting to San Fran so surely

From galley to head
really kicking the lead
but the captain was getting a bit surly

"There's a storm brewing mates
when we get to the gates
of the golden bay near Salsalito

We've traveled this far
not by train, air or car
all on water to here from Toledo

But the oceans turned white
while day changed into night
and our engine is working like jello

So he went down below
at a break in the blow
when he tasted last nights burrito

No one had the wheel
and a wave hit the keel
and the boat went all kinda curly

The captain it's said
didn't exit the head
when the gales of November came early.

And He Said "Come!"

I grew up near the shore of a great lake and probably because of that my mother thought that it would be a good idea if I learned how to swim.  Our family spent summers in a very pleasant cottage nestled a top of a forested sand dune and during one of those glorious childhood days I was asked to leave family and friends and head to waters warmed by the Consumers Power Plant discharge in nearby Port Sheldon.  There a certain doctor conducted his swimming experiments by making young boys and girls splash unaided across a channel.  Swim or sink was the brilliant idea.  I sank.

Halfway across my doggie paddle ran out of gas resulting in me sinking below the surface while raising one hand above the water and making finger signs - One! - Two! - Three!  The "instructor" managed to get me before I ran out of fingers and that was my first and last lesson at Port Sheldon.  I suppose this experience was slightly better than the guy who said that his very demanding father taught him to swim by taking him out to the middle of a lake in their row boat and dumping him in.  "That was pretty rough" said the person hearing the story.  "No, the rough part was biting through the duck tape and then getting out of the burlap bag" said the guy.

My closest brush with death came during my late teen years while I was foolishly body surfing some large white capped waves alone one very windy day on the edge of our great lake.  I was waist deep one moment and then stepped into a hole in the sandy bottom where I could no longer stand with my head above water.  The undertow was taking me out and I swam and fought as hard as I could with the waves to make it back in.  I remember laying on the beach for about an hour, totally exhausted, thankful for life.

A friend of mine grew up on Beaver Island which is situated in the Northern part of Lake Michigan.  One day he told me something very interesting.  A lot of the permanent residents of the island either fish for a living or have some type of employment having to do with being on the lake.  The waters up there are usually a lot colder than where we live in South West Michigan and so many of the island people do not know how to swim.  To put it simply he said, if something happens to their boat and they don't have adequate floatation devices, which many don't, they are screwed.

There is a story in scripture about some men who made their living on the water of a large lake.  They had been called by Jesus to be disciples of His and so they had taken a break from their lively hood but now they were back close to home.  After Jesus feeds the 5000 He makes His disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side . . . the boat was already a long distance from the land, battered by the waves; for the wind was contrary.  And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea.  (Matthew 14:22-25)

Let me make a comment right here about walking on water.  This is not the only occasion given in scripture of Jesus doing this.  One time He clips along and passes right by the poor boys who are struggling to make headway in the wind and waves.  I wonder, water being liquid and all, how one gets traction.  This, mind you, does not bother me.  In my early years of being a believer I once read a book by a scientist trying to explain physical ways that can make miracles happen, i.e. the ax head of Elisha floats to the surface because of gasses released from the bottom because of such and such conditions.  I think I flipped that book into the proper file after about a chapter or two.  My mindset is much more like that of my deceased father-in-law who remarked about Jonah being able to survive 3 days in the belly of a great fish prepared by God;  "If God wanted He could have provided Jonah with air conditioning and a lawn chair."

So I don't have a problem with the creator of heaven and earth bending our understanding of the rules to do something He wants to do.  Somehow Jesus gets traction, comes near the disciple's boat and freaks them out; they cry out in fear.  But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take courage, it is I;  do not be afraid."  Now here is the part which I love.  Peter gets excited.  Remember, it is Peter who sees by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit that Jesus is more than just a prophet or a holy man.  He is the one who answers Jesus question, Who do men say I am? by responding; You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.

It is Peter who has lived his whole life on the waters of the Sea of Galilee, who knows what the wind and the waves can do to mere men, whose weather worn face has seen fools like me venture out into the waters and not come back.  This Peter gets excited in his spirit and he asks; Lord, if it is You, command me to come to you on the water.  This is so much more than a little story tucked somewhere in the pages of our sacred Word.  Here is a question and a response that belongs to all that breath the wind blown air that traverses every body of water.  Jesus says; Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.  Our answer should be; Lord, if it is You, command me to come.

I have a son and four daughters.  At a certain time in their lives my wife and I would give a locket to our girls and Jackie would charge me with finding an appropriate Bible verse.  I remember praying for our youngest daughter Becky and being drawn to the verse in Matthew chapter 14, verse 29.  For me this was not about a verse looking toward salvation for she was always very strong in her faith since a little child.  Rather I believe it was prophetic, to remember that the invitation to faith in the awesome power of God holds strong and true no matter what the circumstances and that the loving promises of our Creator are sure despite the winds and the waves that we see in the physical.

And how does Jesus respond to Peter's statement; Lord, if it is You, command me to come.  Matthew 14, verse 29 provides it for us;  And He said, "Come!"  Peter now gets out of the boat and he too finds that divine traction, walking on the water toward Jesus.  Yes, Peter then feels the wind and becomes frightened.  He starts to sink.  He cries out as desperate people have done for ages; Lord, save me!  And Jesus does what He will surely do for you, what He has always wanted to do for you;  Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him and said to him (and to us as well), You of little faith, why did you doubt?   

  

Snake Man

My wonderful wife Jackie and I have this friendly competition about who can relate the most unusual stories that come from the people we test.  I have the upper hand here because I do a lot more tests than Jackie does, but she has had her share.

Jackie use to test primarily at the CenterPoint location.  The clientele, apart from the East Grand Rapids kids who would drive up in their parent's BMW's, Lexus, Mercedes, Prius and Volvos, were a mixture of Bosnians (the average 17 year old Bosnian looks at least 22), Northern Africans (where I believe judging by performance that there is a total of about 20 miles of paved road in all of Northern Africa), Arabs (slightly more paved roads) and foreign students from nearby Calvin College (most borrow cars from other foreign students who are not aware that the vehicle needs to be insured).

From this group she got a guy who was a prominent journalist in his African country who was imprisoned and tortured for several years because of a change in political leadership until he was released because of a request from the prime minister of South Africa.  He still had visible scars on his body.  When Jackie related the story I was so jealous I think I almost shared his pain.

But now my precious wife is doing all of her testing at the Hudsonville location where 90% of the people that come to be tested are white and under the age of 18.  Let me list the names of the people she tested last Saturday:  Jacob, Joshua, Taylor, another Jacob, Bethany, Abigail and Jordan.  And can you believe it, not a single one needed a translator.

I on the other hand regularly get guys like Leroy who is 28 and has been in and out of prison since he was 16.  Leroy shows up yesterday in a Cadillac STS with tinted windows and his driver's seat tilted way back.  He is short and slight of build and can barely see over the dash but he looks good.  He has been released from prison for 3 years and had accumulated over $8,000 in driving fines since then.  Although he only works occasionally thru a temp service he was some how able to pay off what he owed and came in to be tested.

Since he is the only one of the day who I think might have seen the Michigan game Monday I ask him if he watched.  "I'm not really into sports.  I only watch the big games."  After I tell him that the game last night was one of those I asked if there were any TV shows he was interested in.  "I love the show Duck Dynasty.  Willie thinks he runs everything but he doesn't control nothing.  Cy always talks about Viet Nam but he's a big lair.  One time he was taking Miss Kay's grill to get fixed and forgot to tie it on the back of his pickup.  When he got there it was gone and so he says that someone must have stole it.  I love Miss Kay.  No one tells her what to do."  Listing to inner city Leroy explain Duck Dynasty is a treat I would pay for.

Yet even from the vanilla at Hudsonville Jackie occasionally scores a good one.  Peter was 25 and had been a hobo since he was 17.  He got started when his buddy suggested they hop on the next train and see where it would take them.  Peter was involved in the Goth sub culture and train hopping was part of that.  They switched from one train to another but just before arriving in Texas they heard that people were getting arrested there so they took the next ride back home.  The Goths dress in all black and Peter learned not to do that in his life as a hobo because the ones that dress in all black "are some really bad dudes."  He gave up the hobo life at age 25 for the simple reason that "my body was just wearing out".

I was jealous of Jackie for about a week until Jesse showed up.  Jesse was in his mid 50's and needed to take a driver's test because he had been hospitalized for 4 years with a failing liver so his license had expired.  He had worked in Florida for most of his life as a surveyor.  Jesse told me right up front that he was bitten three different times by rattlesnakes.  The venom actually ended up destroying his liver.

I asked what it was like getting bit by a rattlesnake.  "The first time I thought I was going to die.  The rattlesnake doesn't want to eat you so they only inject a little bit of venom to protect themselves.  You'd be dead for sure if they gave you a full dose.  I got to the hospital where they took care of me.  The second time I wasn't as scared because I knew I wasn't going to die and the third time I thought, Oh crap, I'm going to miss a day of work."

Jesse told me he has stepped on alligators a few times, encountered bears and one time was neck deep in water when a water moccasin snake swam toward him.  "Did the only thing that came to my mind.  Grabbed him by the neck."  "I guess I get in trouble because I will take the jobs no one else wants."

"Didn't the heat in Florida bother you?" I asked.  "You must be able to get use to it."

"There wasn't a day when I didn't have sweat dripping down the middle of my back and down my butt crack.  It was never pleasant."

"Mosquitos bother you?"

"There are always mosquitoes.  You learn to just ignore them."

"Don't you use deet?"

"No, too much is bad for you."

"Yah, probably bad for your liver too."

"Ha Ha.  The thing that did bother me were the spiders.  I've been bit by all kinds.  Still have a large cyst on my shoulder from a brown recluse bite."  Seems that the only thing to worry Jesse was if his daughter found out that he was taking a road test.

The upside to Jesse's work was that he was one of the few people to have seen the extremely rare ghost orchid in bloom.  The locations for most ghost orchards are keep secret because of the danger posed by poachers.  Jesse told me about some of the surveying work he had like the one needing a special 3D laser machine that he used for Disney World to help them design the layout of a new ride.  All in all a great story.     
 
     Ghost Orchid  

Bipple

Audrey drove up in an old Pontiac Grand Am.  She is blond, 22 years old and was wearing large plastic wraparound sun glasses.  When I ask her how she is doing today she responds; "Just ducky."  Based on her salty language during the rest of the test it's a good guess that hers were not fresh water ducks.

"This is not my car" she assures me.  "I normally drive a big truck."  Then Audrey says;  "I suppose I can't smoke while doing the test, can I?"  "Not a good idea" was my answer.

We go out on the driving portion of the test and Audrey tells me that this has not been a good month.  Her truck got rear ended (her terminology for that was much more colorful and graphic than I can relay here) and she is staying with her mother because the house she and her husband were living in burned down.  His computer shorted out starting their Lazy Boy on fire which then spread to the rest of their dwelling.

Audrey keeps saying; "Oh, excuse my language" during our time together.  For example I tell her about the lady I saw driving who had a cup of coffee in her left hand, a smoke wedged between the fingers of the same hand which was also steering the vehicle using her palm while she was texting using her right hand.  "No S...t!" exclaims Audrey.  "I would never do that!"

When I ask Audrey if she has any children she tells me that she has a fourteen month old boy.  "I was reading the book which describes what children do at each stage of growing and saw that at 14 months Alex should be able to start identifying body parts.  So I point to my nose and eyes and ears and lips, but Alex cannot name them.  Well, you know that I sleep in the nude so the next morning Alex comes into my bedroom.  I point to my boob and Alex doesn't say anything but then he points to the end of my boob and exclaims 'Bipple!'  When I tell him 'that's right' he starts beating his chest like a gorilla."  Audrey laughs.  "My son can identify one body part, bipple."

I thought that was pretty funny although I wondered just what in his environment led Alex to know that bit of information.  When I get home I tell Jackie the story.  She doesn't laugh.  "She told you she sleeps in the nude?"

The Only Good Pet . . .

Warning: Portions of the following post contain animal stories that may be disturbing to some readers.

Earlier this week we were out on one of the first very nice spring days doing a driving test and I noticed in a 2 block area 5 different people walking their dog or dogs during the residential portion of our route. I asked Jose if he had a dog. “No”. “Do you own a cat?” “No”. “How about a rabbit or a guinea pig?” “Nope”. “No pets? Not even a goldfish?” “No”.

I was going to remark that I too never had much use for those stinking little animals when a little voice in my head told me to be quite. Just then Jose's mother remarks from the back seat; “Jose's dog died last year.” Whew! Thank you Bob for finally knowing when to shut up.

Several years ago I was giving a road test for a second time to Josephina, a short Philippine lady, and we came to the time where I ask the question; “If you have to drive off the side of the road and hit something, what would be the safest thing to hit?” The correct answer is to hit something soft. Now if a person doesn't understand the question then we are allowed to rephrase it. I had a little fun with this a couple of weeks earlier when I rephrased it to a sweet, innocent looking 16 year old girl using the example I was to give Josephina. It went well then so I tried it again.

“If you had to choose to hit with your vehicle either a great big elephant or a cute little puppy, what would be the best choice?”

Josephina answers; “Sir, (sniff sniff), I would heet (sniff sniff) the cute – little – poo pee.” Tears started to flow out of her eyes. She then choked out; “My cute little poo pee (sob sob) was heet by a car.” I felt instantly awful and said; “I'm sorry. It was wrong for me to joke like that.” Josephina replies; “Sir, my Cambodian lady friend gave me that poo pee and said, 'You don't have a daughter. THIS will be you daughter.” And now really crying she whispered the words; “And she was my cute – little- daughter.”

I then heard the rest of her sad dog story including; “The neighbor dog once bit my poo pee on the leg. I call police.” Each additional part of her story found me looking for somewhere in that front seat to hide. Eventually she calmed down and ended up passing the test. Josephine grabs both of my hands. “I have big fight with husband this morning. Thank you.” It was several years before I dared use the puppy and elephant example again.

My experience has never been too good with animals. I don't think either of my parents had pets as children. One day when I was young they brought home a puppy, evidently from a roadside vendor because the dog bit everyone in sight. That experiment lasted only a couple of days. They did take us to Deer Park one time and that is about the extent of my animal education.

I married a woman who was also pet deprived. Jackie's dad had a dog once but she remembers very little of it. The only other animal that graced their lives was a little hatchling that Jackie's sister Jane brought home from school. It turned out to be a rooster who became very territorial. I was dating Jackie at the time and when I, or anyone for that matter, would drive up and park in the front of the house the rooster would come tearing out from the garage and start furiously pecking at our legs. Imagine having to shut off the car engine and letting the vehicle role the last thirty yards to a stop, gently opening the car door and then sprinting to the front door of the house.

Eventually Jackie had enough and she told her younger brother Jim to take care of the matter, anyway he thought best. The rooster ended up with 20 BB's in it's little ornery brain. We are not sure if it was the BB's or the multiple stabs from the pitch fork that killed that bird but we were finally free. When Jane wondered later where the rooster was Jackie said the creature was so dumb it must have had an accident.

Jackie and I never blessed our children with any dogs or cats. She did get Ceci and Carrie a guinea pig. That lasted about two weeks before it disappeared. She told the girls that fluffy wasn't very happy here so she took it to “the nature center.” They of course assumed it was the nature center they had toured as pre-girl scout brownies.

And speaking of brownies Jackie once took the little troop of girls to Tusinks Farm where there were a lot of horses and well as the pony rides that all the kids loved. Ceci spotted one large horse walking by, looked underneath and spotted it in all his glory. “MOM! What's THAT!”  Glad we didn't have phones that took pictures back then.

 

Five Loaves And Two Fishes

"Now the Passover, the feast of the Jews, was at hand. Jesus therefore lifting up His eyes, and seeing that a great multitude was coming to Him, said to Philip; 'Where are we to buy bread, that these may eat?'" (John 6:4-5)


As we enter into Holy week I thought I would share with you a story of an earlier Passover week. The context is that it was at the beginning of the feast of Passover and a great number of people were following Jesus because He was doing miracles and healing the sick. They were now away from home and were getting hungry.  Andrew finds a boy with five barley loaves and two fish and Jesus blesses this food and distributes it to the multitude. Everyone eats as much as they want and twelve baskets full of leftover fragments were gathered. 

 -

In a sense here is Jesus, who will become the true Passover Lamb for all when He dies on the cross, now sharing a meal during Passover time with 5000 representing the Jewish nation. Understand that in Jewish tradition a chair is left empty at the table during the Passover meal.  This is for Elijah, a great prophet of the past who was taken up to Heaven alive in a chariot of fire and was prophesied to one day return to the Jewish people. He would either proceed, or be, the Prophet Messiah who would deliver the Jewish people from their oppressors. The multitude could not yet understand Jesus as the Passover Lamb but the sign of the multiplication of loaves and fishes does lead them to believe that He is this promised Prophet and they want to seize Jesus and make Him their king.

-

Jesus escapes to the mountains alone and later that night walks on the water to the boat of His disciples and arrives at the other side of the Sea of Galilee. The multitude find Him there the next day and Jesus tells them; "you seek Me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate of the loaves, and were filled. Do not work for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man shall give to you." The people ask Jesus to tell them what the works of God are, and He replies; "This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent."

-

The people have seen Jesus heal the sick and feed the multitude. Their theology permits them to comprehend Jesus as a Prophet in the vein of Moses or Elijah but not as God come in the flesh. So they inform Jesus that Moses gave the nation bread out of heaven (the manna) to eat, that this was a sign that Moses was from God, and that Jesus should confirm to them that because of the sign of the multiplication of loaves He too was the Prophet that would deliver them.
-
Jesus answers them; "it is not Moses who has given you bread out of heaven, but it is My Father who gives you the true bread out of heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down out of heaven, and gives life to the world . . . I am the bread of life; he who come to Me shall not hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst." 

-

Jesus was telling the people that there was something much greater than Moses or Elijah here. Moses prayed to God in the wilderness after the people grumbled about being hungry and God provided manna as food everyday until they entered the promised land. The Son of the Father God that Moses prayed to was now in their midst.  He was more than a healer, provider, and political deliverer. In Him was eternal life. 

-

"No man has seen the Father, except the One who is from God . . . he who believes has eternal life. I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the bread which comes down out of heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die . . the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is My flesh . . He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day."
-
God provided food for the people in the wilderness and yet death still came to their physical bodies. God now has provided Someone that would bring eternal life spiritually and which would physically lead to a resurrection on the last day uniting body with soul and spirit.  Jesus would give up His flesh on the cross for the sins of man. Our work, that effort we need to be justified before the Father, is simply to believe in Him whom He sent.

Jesus took five loaves and two little fishes and provided everything the people needed and much, much more.  Let him take your hand and lead you to a place where life is abundant, where joy overflows, where peace is unshaken.      

-

"It is the Spirit who gives life, the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life." (John 6:63)

Put On A Happy Face

Both Jackie and I had to arise early for work this morning so last night when we were talking about what time to get up Jackie told me to wake her after I took my shower.  This I did.  It may help to know that my wife can stay up to all hours of the night without a problem but she has never been much of a early morning person.

I come into the bedroom fresh as a daisy after my morning wash up and softly say; "wake up Honey."  From Jackie I get something like "mumble jumble, mumble mumble" so I sing her this little tune:

"Good morning to you, good morning to you.  We're all in our places with bright shinning faces" to which Jackie responds;  "I'm getting up but I will NOT put on my happy face."

Jackie ended up with her happy face later this afternoon when she came back home and got to continue working on one of her sewing projects.  This time it is a mass production of little Dutch costumes that fit the American Girl dolls that most of our little granddaughters love.  I'm talking skirts, those blooming pants, scarfs, the classic Dutch caps, blouses and of course a bunch of little accessories.

There are patterns from Dutch regions such as Middelburg, Achterhoek, Volendam and the Isle of Markan.  Some are for girls and some are boy outfits that the girl dolls will wear, just like the famous Dutch dancers from my hometown, Holland, Michigan.  Looking at all the piles of outfits and various materials sitting on the work table makes me wonder if Jackie is outfitting a little army of Dutch dancers.  The piles sure brings back a lot of May memories of Tulip Time.

When I was in early grade school at St. Francis I would dress up Dutch and march in the Thursday parade with my classmates while holding a long horizontal pole displaying the diamonds of Amsterdam.  The same props were used by subsequent classes for the next 50 years.  By 4th or 5th grade I graduated to decorating my bike with crape paper and sticking baseball cards in the spokes and riding the route, dressed up Dutch of course, while doing so.  I was cool Hans then. 

Other relatives fared better.  My girls while in band in middle school and high school marched in all the festival's parades.  My older brother dresses Dutch each year and pulls some of his little grandkids in a red wagon during the street scrubbing parade.  And my young blond girl cousins would just sit in the middle of a patch of beautiful tulips while wearing their Dutch costumes and collect dollars from the thousands of visiting senior citizen tourists.  I asked my mom if I could do that but she said it was a Vermont custom.

Just to continue the Dutch theme for a little longer, I did a road test yesterday for a college student from the Netherlands.  He is 6'10" tall and came over here to play hoops.  Unfortunately both ankles went bad.  He says that his teammates yell "dunk the ball" but he doesn't because it hurts to jump.  That now is my excuse. 

I asked him if young guys like him, because they all travel extensively through Europe, now consider themselves to be first Europeans and then as someone from their country.  "Definitely the Netherlands" was the answer.  "The European Union is falling apart."  That surprised me but then thinking about the recent bailouts of Greece and Ireland and the financial troubles in Spain, Italy and others I could understand. 

He told me his parents who are prominent journalists in Amsterdam actually phoned him after this weeks EU's attempt to confiscate bank funds in Cypress and asked if he wanted them to remove his money from their Dutch bank.  That's how worried his parents are getting.  He put on his happy face and told them no.  "I'm just a college student.  I don't have much money to worry about."

Another test I had test this week was with a woman who was 50 years old, about 5 foot tall and was missing all of her front teeth.  She wasn't Dutch but she was from Loose E Anna.  When I told her I could hear a little Cajun in her accent Mary told me that she was part Indian.  I asked; "American Indian or Indian from India".  Mary replies; "Indian Indian. Part Cherokee, part Chippewa."

When I tell Mary that she passes she puts both arms over the steering wheel, rotates them and does her little happy dance.  She tells me showing her big no tooth smile that she is going to save her special happy dance to show her husband.  "I would show it to youss but youss is a married man" she laughs.  "That I am" I assure her.

Mary's happy face was big but not as big as the one I see on Jackie when she is sewing those little Dutch outfits.