Wednesday, January 28, 2015

I Gave The Mahdi His Driver's Test

It is probable that you, my dear readers, are like the average American and know very little about subjects such as current events outside our country, history, geography and the eschtatological beliefs of other religions. I on the other hand was not allowed as a child to sit around the family dinner table until mastering at least a working knowledge of these as well as the ability to debate my parents and siblings in an intelligent manner with retorts sometimes sprinkled with a touch of sarcasm. Hunger is a cruel but surprisingly effective teacher.

After getting married I thought that dinner conversation with my wife and kids would follow the same path. That idea was soon squashed when I realized that Jackie had this thing about not wanting the kids to starve. We could talk sports. We could talk local current events. I could tell jokes and make puns and was even tolerated when I made the family join me doing imitations of major appliances. But if I started in on politics or history or heaven forbid geography Jackie would squirm and get up and start to work on the dishes and I wasn't finished eating and again found out that hunger is a cruel but surprisingly effective teacher.

Years later I've discovered an outlet to discuss my interests with some of the people that come through for driver's tests. A case in point would be a guy this week from Iran whose name was Mahdi.

The Mahdi is a character in Islamic tradition who will arise at the end of days to usher in world domination by the religion of peace. He is a direct descendant of Mohammad and is the 12th of 12 Immans who will guide the nations with his divine wisdom. This guy actually lived in the ninth century but then disappeared and is thought to be hiding in a well util the time is right for him to reappear with his buddy Jesus. Together they will arrive in a time of world crisis and bring about universal peace through Islam.

People believing in the 12th Imman are called Twelvers and you might be surprised to learn the nation of Iran is run by the Shia brand of mullahs who are all Twelvers. They are very excited because among the prophesied signs of the Mahdi's coming is what is currently happening in Iraq and Syria and Yemen. Iran is frantically developing nuclear weapons with the firm intent of using them to destroy the little Satan (Israel) and destroy or at least humiliate the big Satan (the US and her Western allies). This will bring in the chaos that will allow the Mahdi to appear.

The Mahdi is described as a young man, good looking, with long black hair and a long black beard.

My guy pulls up to the test side driving a BMW 530si. He is 32, good looking with a wild crop of long black hair on the top of his head. He is without beard but does have a tuft of hair under his lower lip. He tells me that he doesn't speak English too good so can he use a translator. I counter that is seems we will be OK without one and during the parking lot portion of the test I make sure to explain everything very slowly and carefully. Mahdi appears to understand, does well but it is clear that conversation will be a little difficult.

We go out driving and I only give directions and do not engage in any small talk but of course I am dying to talk about his being the Mahdi. We arrive just as a left hand turning arrow goes red and I know that I have a minute or two so I turn to him and say; "You are Mahdi. From Iran. You have been hiding in a well since the 9th century." Mahdi looks at me and says "What?" So I show him his name on the test sheet and repeat; "You are Mahdi. From Iran. You have been hiding in a well since the 9th century."

Mahdi smiles at me and replies; "I am very happy!"

The light changes and we talk no more until the test is finished. I fill out his test certificate, have him sign it and then test over ask why he came to Michigan from Iran. "I come here 5 years ago. Change my name to Derek. Always like that name. Am film maker. Don't need to make too much money, only help people." Sounds like a pretty good cover story to me.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Dear Boys

Dear Boys

This is to the 60 million
more important than 20 trillion
both keep growing
isn't it thrilling
we're doomed dear boys
we're doomed

Sent mr smith to washington
thought he'd really be the one
years have passed
and nothing done
we're doomed dear boys
we're doomed

each day passes while bombs are made
tanks and missiles on parade
mushroom clouds
will be our shade
we're doomed dear boys
we're doomed

hocus pocus picus pie
warts go away bye and bye
read the stars
and kiss the sky
we're doomed dear boys
we're doomed

the aisles are choked with easy pledges
few there are upon the ledges
mammoth churches
tiny hedges
we're doomed dear boys
we're doomed

simon says to stick out your tongue
wiggle those ears, have some fun
anything goes
we all are one
we're doomed dear boys
we're doomed

sat in the middle of a whirling ride
closed my eyes and got inside
held on tight
but lost my pride
we're doomed dear boys
we're doomed

children playing holding hands
building castles in the sand
waves crashed in
but no one ran
we're doomed dear boys
we're doomed

abe and martin spoke out clear
lost their lives to those that fear
that great divide
is very near
we're doomed dear boys
we're doomed

opened this book and read till the end
talked for hours with my very best friend
felt the spirit
move within
there's hope dear boys
there's hope





Saturday, January 24, 2015

Fashion Sense With Bobby

Them that can do. Them that can't watch shows like Project Runway and Downton Abbey and dream about the copy they would write if they had their own exclusive fashion line.

Hello! This is Bobby Mitzorobbie giving you just a tantalizing glimpse of what to expect with my new line of clothes and accessories that will be previewing on QVC next week.

I have always believed every woman is like a colorful pallet of thick oil paint that when mixed just right will make her more beautiful with every swish of my brush.

The QVC client is a modern woman who likes to blend classic chic with just a dash of the affordable. She is looking for both comfort and style in a timeless look that says Bonjour mon ami.

Our crafters use only the most natural of materials. We import exclusively the best extra virgin wools from New Zeeland, the finest silk from the most pampered worms in all of Thailand and the softest hand picked organic cottons from Mississippi.

Each individual item has been tailored with such exquisite care and sensibility that they literally caress your form and shape wither in a boardroom or just having a cappuccino with your friends.

All of our purses, scarves and jewelry show the same sense of intricate design magic that can only be brought to you by the inspired genius of my partner Tony Gelato who originally made a name for himself on the street corners of Florence, Milano and Rome.

Won't you join me for what I believe will be the signature fashion event of the year at QVC? All dreams can be made available to you for just 3 easy payments. Have your credit card ready and your phone on speed dial. Ciao!

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Thoughts On Turning 65

Recently I thought about the birthday party that the family had for Jackie's oldest sister Janet when she turned 50. All of the sisters and brothers and spouses dressed up as really old people. I found a baggy pair of my dad's pants, a mismatched shirt, old timer hat, cane, and then walked into the party bow legged and grumpy. "Eh - what's that kiddo? -  now just hold your horses sonny."

My hot date Jackie arrived wearing a yellow polyester pant suit, garish sweater, purple wig and her stylish accessory was a pill box. Party decorations of course included the black balloons and a variety of best wishes cards all having something to do with passing gas and passing memory. We were in our early 40's then and thought we were so funny.

Today I am on the cusp (first time I have ever written that word) of turning 65. I am scheduled next week for the introductory physical that you get when starting Medicare but I am very thankful that I feel great and look good, although I remember what my dad told me how to describe the 3 stages of life - Youth - Middle Age, and - You're looking good!"

I remember very clearly that my dad was at the age of 65 when he would come into the break room at the business and tell whatever group that was gathered one of his old stories. Dad loved telling stories, we had heard them many times but they were always funny and we enjoyed them because he had so much fun telling them. But beginning at the age of 65 there were times when he started telling the same story a few minutes later. Sometimes I could head him off at the pass but Bill was a lot quicker than I was and occasionally he got going. Everybody loved my father and we would all laugh even harder the second time. But it was worry some.

It was a nice morning at work today. I was standing outside after setting up the course in the parking lot, the weather was mild, I had energy and felt fine and was very thankful to be so blessed. As far as I can tell I still have my wits about me. Yesterday I asked a young lass of 18 if she was from the area. She responded that she was but originally her home was up north at White Cloud. Knowing that White Cloud is a little rural community I remarked to the girl: "Oh, White Cloud. I think that's where my computer stores all it's stuff!" Crystal of course believed me but didn't get my humor although it doesn't matter, I manage to keep myself happy.

Jackie gave me a hair cut tonight so I would look fine on my birthday. She has been my barber for over 42 years and at first I use to pray really hard before hand so that God would guide her scissors and razor and I would end up with a good cut and not get my ear snipped. I still pray before each hair cut but not as hard. Now there is a lot less to worry about, if you know what I mean.

I see people coming in for tests who are a lot younger than me but look and move a lot older. I am blessed everyday with a loving wife who has always laughed at my jokes and who knows how to gently persuade me to be a better man and to do my part. I have been blessed with a large happy family and still have little ones whom I can wrap my legs around and tell them that they will NEVER get out of my trap (they all have their sly tricks to escape grandpa, or "Pea Pa" as Zane calls me).

Writing is another blessing for me. As far as humor is concerned, there are so many of my stories that I really would forget if I wasn't able to write them down in a reasonable amount of time. And there is so much that I've learned and experienced spiritually that I want to be able to enrich others with. I enjoy writing to encourage, to teach, and hopefully to be used by the Holy Spirit to bring truth to those that are lost. I want there to be a record of who I am for my grandchildren and for their children so that in some way I can help them in their walk of faith.

And when I was young I used to write poems. Now many years later there are some things that are better said as poems and so I am thankful to have a channel to occasionally write those as well. The great thing to me about writing poems is that they always make me quite happy. It doesn't matter if someone else even likes them or gets them.

That being said let me thank anyone who is so kind to read what I post. I am truly honored and humbled that you would take more than a few seconds of your scan time to read all or even some of the crazy stuff I have written. Some I know is good, some I know is average and you may even think some is crap. And to that I say - Now just hold your horses sonny!  

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

The Tree Of Life

DNA (combined with RNA) is the instruction manual for all living things. It enables a cell to grow, to protect itself, to reproduce itself, to absorb energy, to eliminate waste, to move and to adapt to different environments. It provides instructions for the cell to create machines which transform proteins into whatever the cell needs - things like an outer shell, an inner lining, entry and exit portals, a motor complete with gasket and propeller, on and on and on.

The most simple cells are comprised of millions of atoms which make up 60,000 to several million proteins arraigned in 100 or more different configurations. The DNA code for the most simple cell is 3 MILLION links long. Something more complicated like a human cell has a DNA code of over 3 BILLION links for each cell in a human body comprised of TRILLIONS of cells.

Science has NEVER observed the spontaneous formation of a cell in nature. Science has NEVER been able to combine the proper ingredients in a lab and observe the spontaneous formation of a cell. Material simply does not self organize itself into DNA chains of information to create life from non life.

Contained in DNA is a genetic code that enables cells to reproduce like from like. DNA has a self correcting feature which searches out defective genes to repair them. DNA also has trigger mechanisms which allow the structures that cells make up to vary due to environmental changes. What does this mean?

1. Cells have a programmed ability so that structures can change within limits.
2. Mutations will always have negative and not positive effects.
3. Selective breeding actually reduces genetic variety.

It can be observe within all species that creatures change within limits. These changes all have to do with aspects such as size, shape, color and features. Sometimes the change is significant enough in those areas that a different species classification is assigned although they still remain in their overall larger species classification. The observed transition into a new species classification has never happened. There is great variety in dog and cat species but we never see cats becoming dogs or vise versa.

Recorded history has not observed the in progress transition of one species into another. Apes are not becoming human (although there may be some argument the other way) and you and I do not have starter stubs for wings or antenna or special digits forming that will one day be useful for our iPhone and X boxes. Dandelions are not in the process of becoming roses, amoebas are not becoming fish, fish are not becoming reptiles and reptiles are not becoming birds.

The development over time of a non functioning feature (which has not been seen and which is largely prohibited by the self correcting feature of DNA anyway) would make any species less likely, not more likely to compete in it's environment.

The amount of new DNA code to produce something as sophisticated and multi-faceted as an organ or even a feather would be in the hundreds of millions of links. There is not one bit of evidence showing the gradual development of organs, feathers or any other complex feature.

Complex features such as organs and feathers need many inter related working parts to function. All would have to develop separately and non functioning over time until ready.

The billions of fossil records we already have not shown ANY creatures in the process of developing new features. All extinct creatures have fully developed features.

ALL creatures appear in the sedimentary record as fully developed. One of the most common fossils, the trilobite, all of a sudden shows up by the millions at a certain level with nothing looking close for it's ancestor for 500 previous feet of sediment.

Fossil records do NOT show the gradual transition of one species into another. Lining up charts of fully developed extinct species to present a tree of life without one bit of evidence of linkage is only speculation, not proof.

If mutations were able to rewrite a cell's DNA and genetic code in incremental stages over time then mathematically in each generation there should be at least as many negative developments as positive ones (although as stated above mutations are by nature negative). Each successive generation of mutations on the positive line would have to have at least as many negative aspects as positive and so on for each new mutated generation. This means the odds for a positive mutation to continue to develop positive (because there is no advantage until functional) would decrease with each mutated generation.

Unlimited time does not change odds. If the odds are zero for something happening by chance (your watch self assembling itself from raw materials) then something more complicated (a living cell that can reproduce) would also be zero. Zero times zero is always zero.

Microbs arriving from another planet via a meteor or visits from aliens to infuse life do not change the odds of self generation, although for some it is easier to believe in aliens than in God.

Scientists did not self generate. They are the combination of the DNA of their mother and father and each is a unique being, blessed with brains so big that they can contemplate the physical  mysteries of the universe while at the same time being blind to it's spiritual dimension.

The complexity of matter and life, it's vastness and smallness, the dependence of each part upon so many other parts, it's beauty and benefit to humankind, the delicate balance of it all, everything we continue to discover screams out that there is an intelligent and loving designer.

I cannot tell you where God came from or how He designed and created the vast amount of matter and energy in the universe, Simple logic says that there is a Designer. For some reason most scientists want to look at the universe as if God doesn't exist and because of that they willfully become blind to conclusions that are obvious. They NEED to have a purely mechanical and mathematical universe.

Ah, but that's where faith comes in, isn't it? It says in the first chapter of Romans that the righteous man shall live by faith. It then goes on to say about men who suppress the truth:

that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse;

For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

Professing to be wise, they became fools

Nature was meant to be discovered. It's complexity and beauty to be unraveled. It's Creator to be worshiped and held in awe. It's logic to be understood. Faith sees both the physical and the spiritual and completes the picture.




Thursday, January 8, 2015

Why Hell?

There were those who dwelt in darkness
and in the shadow of death,
Prisoners in misery and chains,

Because they had rebelled against
the words of God
and spurned the counsel of the Most High.

Therefore He humbled their heart with labor;
They stumbled and there was none to help.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble;

He saved them out of their distresses,
He brought them out of the darkness
and the shadow of death
and broke their bands apart.   

Psalm 107, verses 10-13

Our year is 2015. The world has endured countless wars and conflicts in the last 100 years of it's history. Statistics for just the death toll, not the wounded or displaced or suffering or raped but those that have died in those conflicts are staggering. There were 28 million killed between 1914 and 1921, another 28 million killed in the years 1922 to 1938, a staggering 55 million killed between 1939 and 1945, and if you thought that WWII was the end of this madness, Mao and his ilk caused another 46 million deaths from 1946 to 1961.

Those that are inclined to think that the world is a much different place now than from what you have read in your history books should consider a couple more death due to war numbers.  From 1962 until 1970 the total is 16 million and from 1971 until the present day there have been over 60 different conflicts resulting in more than 22 million deaths.

What is the cause of all of this carnage and misery? Some has been the attempted genocide of those from a different people group or political philosophy. The Turks in the Ottoman Empire systematically exterminated Armenians, Assyrians and Greeks. Hitler's Germans did the same to Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals and the less than perfect. Mid East and Northern African Muslims want to eliminate the Jew and the Christian and a comprehensive list for the hatred of one group for another is way too long to include here.

And then we had men such as Hitler and Stalin and Mao who wanted to force their radical fascist or socialist ideas not only on their own populations but to expand and dominate other countries as well. We can credit Stalin and his leadership with over 35 million deaths to establish the communist Soviet Union and Mao and his leadership with over 50 million deaths to establish communism in China. And though it is true that some people are motivated by their lust for power the hordes that are unleashed by the few to do the killing and raping and pillaging and destruction include many.

Despite this mass amount of death and suffering liberal religion assures us that all people are basically good and that there probably is not a Hell but if there was then only men such as Hitler or Stalin would be there. Liberal religion does not take the Bible seriously and so it defines God from the context of human logic and philosophy. If the Word of God is even considered it's words can mean whatever they want it to mean and may the best arguments win.

But I am not theologically liberal. I know without a doubt that the Bible is the inspired Word of God and that there is power in it's pages to instruct, to inspire, to correct and to encourage all that would eagerly and earnestly mediate on what is written therein. I do not need to argue the existence of Hell or debate who will go there.

The Word is clear from Jesus own words in Matthew 25 that when the Son of Man comes in His glory He will sit on His glorious throne and judge the nations, splitting people into 2 groups. To one group He will say inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world and to the other He will say Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels.

In Luke 16 it is also Jesus who tells the parable of Lazarus and the rich man. Lazarus dies and is carried away by angels to "Abraham's bosom" and the rich man dies and goes to a place of torment called Hades. Then talking about the rich man it says: In Hades he lifted up his eyes, being in torment, and saw Abraham far away and Lazarus in his bosom. And he cried out and said, 'Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus so that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool off my tongue, for I am in agony in this flame'.

Notice a few things from these verses. From the beginning of time God created a good place for man to live out eternity. I believe that this was His desire for all spiritual beings like us who would be born of flesh and blood. God also created at some early point in time a place described as "the eternal fire" which was prepared for spiritual beings that had rebelled against God, i.e. the devil and his angels. The devil and most of his angels do not currently reside there but it is their sure destination. And because man too would rebel against his Maker this has become the sure destination for those who reject Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

Hades is described as a place where the rich man is in agony because of the flame and which is a place of no escape and no intermingling between the righteous and the unrighteous dead. It is not just a place without the presence of God. It is a place of torment. It is terrible and was designed with a purpose.

Any arguments I can make for the purpose of Hell would not make one iota of difference to the skeptic or unbeliever and to be honest, I cannot comprehend eternal suffering either. But this is the harsh reality. We do not know the heart of another person but we are all aware of the condition of our own heart. We instinctively know that we are by nature selfish, that we cannot live a perfect life and that there are areas of our heart that we do not want exposed to the holy light of an awesome and fearful God. God has a will for us and we all know that we fall short.

To be out of the will of the Creator is a terrible thing and not just for us. It affects the society we live in as well. The rebellion of the evil one cast the Earth into darkness. The rejection of the first man and woman to follow what God commanded got them cast out of Eden and affects the physical and spiritual nature of every single man, woman and child ever born, save One. The disease of sin caused the ancient world to be judged and destroyed by water and our current world awaits a judgment as well.

Then why hell for fallen man? Why eternal suffering for the body/soul/spirit (remember, there is a resurrection of the body for both the just and the unjust)? I suspect it has to do with a creation that is bigger and more complicated, intricate and far reaching than we can imagine. God prepared a place for the evil one and the angels that rebelled with him but they are not there yet. When rebellion entered creation He could have wiped them out completely or imprisoned them right away but didn't. God is letting things play out so that He will achieve what He has always planned.

It is the same with man. God is patient and will let rebellion run it's course but there will be an accounting. He designed us so that we, anyone on this planet, could freely choose to love and serve Him and He provided His Son as Savior so that we could freely choose to become part of His eternal family. But He does not force this on anyone.

And for those that have not heard of Jesus? This I also know. God is both just and fair. Redemption came through the shed blood of Jesus at a particular point in time and there is no other way. How God handles men of good will in all the false religions is up to Him. But the charge for us who have experience His redeeming grace is to proclaim to the 4 corners of this world and to our neighbors as well that the Almighty Father, through His Son Jesus, has provided salvation, not through works or religion but through grace.

Why eternal torment? I don't know but I do know that in God's economy sin and rebellion result in corruption, suffering and death, not just for the individual but our sin affects others as well. He is both just and merciful but it is not up to me to judge God.

The universe does not revolve around us and we cannot comprehend the mind of God.

Religion exists in this world because man knows that he is a sinner and so religion is man's attempt to justify himself to God and/or to control the spiritual, social or natural world around him. Religion teaches that man can do something on his own to justify himself. Unbelief is the same philosophy except that it rejects the gatherings, rituals and references to a deity.

But religion cannot justify man before God. Sacrifices and good works and lighting candles and saying special prayers do not change the heart of man. To change the mess that we are in and that the world is in God is looking for hearts that are open. It is His grace that saves alone so that we will have nothing to boast about. It is His Son that comes into our surrendered and open heart to change us and to live in us. It is His Spirit that moves in power to change the condition of our hearts and this world.

Look at the hope and promise that is provided in the words of Psalm 107 opening this post. It talks about those who lived in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in misery and shame. It talks about those who had rebelled against the word of God and His counsel. Those statements pretty well describe us. Because of those things God humbled us and we found that there was no one that could help us.

Perhaps at first you thought this was describing the condition of Hell and indeed it could. Hell is a place of darkness, death, misery and chains. But it really describes the condition of men in the world today who rebel against the holiness of God. In Hell there is no way out but for us there are these encouraging words;

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble;

He saved them out of their distresses,

He brought them out of the darkness

and the shadow of death

and broke their bands apart.

If you have not yet, choose now. Cry out to the Lord and leave the darkness. Experience the daily peace and joy that comes by knowing Jesus in your heart and trusting in the grace of the Father. Enter into the kingdom that was prepared for you from the foundation of the Earth.






Saturday, January 3, 2015

The Cats And Rats Plan

My dear old dad once told me about a poor sap's idea on how to make a lot of money with very little investment. It was called the cats and rats plan.

The first thing you have to do is find a few stray cats. These you train to catch rats and then bring the rats to you. The rats are butchered and fed to the cats who are very happy with their reward and so they go out to find more rats but you get to keep the rat fur which the cats don't want anyway. The rat fur is sold to companies that put stuffing into things like chair cushions or to China which uses rat fur for doll hair and other items then sold for export to stores like Walmart. If you run out of rats you just cut back on how much is feed to the cats and set out the rest of the meat for a day or two which will attract more rats for your half starved cats.

It was all very simple and as everyone knows, the simpler the plan the better.

I thought of this the other day when someone who is a friend of mine on Facebook commented on a "news article" sent their way by a friend of theirs. The article showed a photo of a 85 year old women dressed in an odd looking fur coat getting booked by the Waco, Texas police. The caption says something like - Woman Arrested For Making Fur Coats Out Of Cat Hair.

The article goes on to say that neighbors were noticing that quite of few of their pets were missing and a lady in their neighborhood was wearing a fur coat that had some parts reminding them of their precious lost one. The neighbors hired a private detective who happened to see this little old lady luring an unsuspecting cat into her home with a bowl of milk. He found out that after she would entrap the cats and kill and skin them she would use the cat fur to make her coats. The cat carcasses were fed to the newly arrived victims so the fur could be harvested at the right time. The article goes on to say that it took 30 cats to make one coat and that the lady had 6 other fur coats. The 85 year old lady was sentenced to 15 months in jail for her actions.

My cousin Gretel loves puns but I've always had a soft spot for tragic cat stories. After reading the article I checked the comment section of the news article and found the most horrible but kinda amusing remarks. These are not quotes but they went something like:

15 months! She should get 15 months for each cat!  #no more animal cruelty

That lady should burn in hell for eternity and beyond!!!!!! The life of every living thing is precious. #peta for all

And my favorite:

Someone should skin that lady and make a coat from her! #waco neighborhood association

And then you have the remarks about the remarks:

Burn in hell for eternity? Don't you think that is a little much? Maybe you animal loving ******* can hold her hand while she burns in hell!  #springtime is wonderful

I checked the source of the article and found that the photo and article were taken from an online site which purports to be a news site but in truth is a satire site. I've seen other of their stuff posted by outraged friends before so I didn't even need to check the Urban Legends fact checker for this one. I mean really, in the photo she didn't look a day over 79.