Tooth Ba Rush

Got invaded yesterday by three little granddaughters, one blond, one burnet and one red head, who came over to sew with Jackie.  They brought their American Girl dolls, went to Field fabrics (we call it Mood from the show Project Runway), picked out the material they wanted, made the ladies at Mood jealous of Grandma Jackie, then went back to the house to slave their 8 and 9 year old bodies over the cutting tables and sewing machine.

Tried to stay out of their way but found out that evening when I went to check on them that they had found my sour cherry candy from Christmas that I was saving for a special occasion and had enjoyed themselves quite a bit.  They even thought this was funny.  Couldn't think of a better special occasion though.

Ellie the red head, who normally greets me with a hug and "Hello Grandpa" slapped me five and said "Hey Gramps".  Daphne the blond was working at the sewing machine looking like she really knew what she was doing.  And our dark haired beauty Raleigh was carefully cutting fabric along the edge of a pattern.

They slept over that night and after brushing their teeth they all started chanting "tooth ba rush, tooth ba rush".  This went on for quite a long time, followed by the normal loud chatter, interspersed with someone yelling out "tooth ba rush" which make all three of them giggle, no matter how many times this was repeated.

When they went to pack this morning they were rapping some songs that were basically different variations of this:  "One jump, two jump, step on the pie", rear ends wiggling and hands a waving, and then "No No.  One jump, two jump, step on the bus".  A new version always good for laughs.

The only conflict seemed to be who would end up with the middle seat when riding in the back.  Jackie solved the problem because she had three places to go with the girls (like McDonalds for shakes after Mood).  I was unaware of all this.  After I packed the car today and told the girls to get in, Daphne (having learned to survive with two older brothers) jumps in on one side and fastens her seat belt while the other two are still yelling "not it". 

Since no one wants to sit up front with Gramps someone ended up being "it".  But we had a good time on the way home and I was sad/happy to see them go. 

Jose

One of the people on my schedule for yesterday was Jose.  An old blue Chevrolet Blazer pulls into the test area and out pops a guy about 66 years old with grey, stringy, shoulder length hair forcing itself out of a baseball cap with a big "TEXAS" on it.

"You must be Jose.  My name is Bob.  I will need to see your permit and the registration and proof of insurance for your vehicle". 

Jose tells me to call him Mike, says that this is his daughter's car,  and hands me the documents.  He then gets back in the Blazer.  I finish putting the information onto the score sheet and hand Mike my clipboard to have him sign his name at the bottom.  When I do so I look over to the passenger seat and see a black man sitting there who seems about the same age and condition as Mike.

I point to the other guy and say to Mike;  "I'm guessing that this is NOT your daughter".  Mike laughs so hard that the pen streaks from his signature all the way across the score sheet.  The black guy laughs as well so I continue; "Cause I've seen some ugly women in my life . . . ".  And the man finishes "And I sure takes the cake!"

A Light Shines In The Darkness

Christmas comes in the week with the least daylight. 

When we celebrate family, friends and Immanuel, God with us, some of us may find ourselves longing to recapture the sense of excitement and awe remembered from childhood.  Responsibilities and worries can crowd out wonder and joy, and at the end of the day there may be a mess to clean up as well.

Christmas comes in the week with the least daylight, but there is a light that shines in the darkness.

I received a newsletter yesterday from a young man who was one of the kids when we had a small  home church for seven years.  He grew up and married a woman who would travel on temporary medical assignments to rural areas around the country.  Eric and Renee eventually moved back to town.  He bought a business and they had three kids, but their hearts were telling them to go to the mission field.

Their family just finished a year of language study in Costa Rica and will leave the end of this year for Shell, Ecuador where they want to look "for where God is at work and join Him there."  The opinion of the world is that it is arrogant to go to another culture to share the love of Christ, but my first thought when reading their newsletter was, "I can't imagine how difficult it would be to humble yourself that way".

The dad of one of my road test clients today works with disturbed and often violent adults at Pine Rest.  I asked him how he got into that line of work.  Lynn told me that he was a youth pastor for many years.  There were a few kids that needed special help and this led him to start things like half way houses and other special services.  Eventually he ended up working at Pine Rest.  His group of men do a 6 month program and Lynn's rewards come with seeing their eventual progress.

A light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

The account of Jesus birth in Matthew 2 tells us the story of the magi and their gifts.  But if we read on we see what follows is the slaughter of the children by the order of Herod.  "A voice was heard in Rama, Weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and she refused to be comforted"

Try as he did Herod was not able to extinguish the light.  Jesus of course did not remain a baby.  In the course of time the Spirit led Him to John to be baptized, and coming out of the water the Spirit descends on Him like a dove and the Father says; "You are my beloved Son, in You I am well pleased".  Mark 1:11 
Jesus calls the 12 and ministers for about 3 years.

At the end of the 13th and into the 14th chapter of John, Jesus tells His disciples that the time was coming soon when He would be glorified, and this would bring glory as well to the Father. This meant that He would soon be leaving them.  Peter, wanting to follow Jesus, asked Him where He was going, and Jesus responds that Peter could not follow where He was going now ( the cross) but later he would be able to follow (Jesus would rise from the grave, ascend into Heaven, and be with the Father). " In my Father's house are many dwelling places . . . I go to prepare a place for you, and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also". 

Jesus assures His disciples that they will know the way He is going. Thomas then says that if they don't know where He is going then how can they know the way. And Jesus answers; "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through me".  Jesus teaches His disciples that they will know the Father by knowing Jesus, because His words are the Father's words and His works are the Father's works. "Believe Me that I am in the Father, and the Father is in me, otherwise believe on account of the works themselves. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go to the Father".

Now Jesus tells His disciples that the Father will give them another "Helper" who would be with them forever, "that is the Spirit of truth, who the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you, and will be in you". A little later Jesus says; "These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you, but the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you".


Earlier in His ministry Jesus sent out seventy of His followers in the power of the Holy Spirit to do the works of the Father -  proclaiming the kingdom, healing the sick, and casting out evil spirits. And the Holy Spirit that was imparted upon them enabled them to come back with joy saying that "even the demons are subject to us in Your name." (Luke 10). But now Jesus was telling them that soon this same Holy Spirit would be living in them.

In Acts 1, forty days after the resurrection and just before Jesus ascends to Heaven He commands the disciples not to leave Jerusalem but to wait for what the Father had promised through Him; "John baptized with water, but you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now . . . you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be my witnesses". And the Father poured out the Holy Spirit upon the church at Pentecost 10 days later.

All believers have a reborn spirit that is indwelt by the Holy Spirit. But not all experience a great release of the Spirit into their lives.  Baptism speaks of an immersion, and the baptism with the Holy Spirit given at Pentecost was an immersion of the Holy Spirit into the soul of man, to empower us to do the works of the Father. The soul (mind, personality, will, desires) usually changes a lot after salvation because of the presence of the Holy Spirit in the spirit. And all born again believers yield to the working of the Spirit that ministers to their soul to one degree or another. 

But God also has available to man a baptism, an in flooding, a surge of the Holy Spirit into the soul that clears away many of the barriers of doubt, fear and pride that reside there even after being born again. Surrendering our souls to the mighty wind and the incoming flood of the Holy Spirit should result in the "greater works" that Jesus spoke about.

The gift then of the Holy Spirit is not just for our benefit, but also for a world that remains mostly in darkness.  Let us unwrap that gift this Christmas season and let it shine.

Pogo

The office at one of the locations I work is in a sleepy little Mall that is fighting to stay alive in the current recession.  The Big Boy left 2 months ago after apparently not paying rent for a year and just this week a Pearle Vision across the hall saw the light and moved to a better location on 28th street.  A sign on the Joseph A. Banks store to one side of our office announces a closing sale, location to be vacated by January 1st.  When you see 50% off at a Banks it makes you wonder.

There is a Post Office and a Secretary of State office and I think that they must generate 80% of the Mall traffic.  I would be surprised if the motley group of seniors who walk the Mall spend much.  Our business recently partnered with an organization to give a 4 hour driving class to people who want to have points removed from their driving records.  That is held in an empty store space (take your pick)  twice a week and attracts about 50 people per class.

But there is hope.  Pogo was back again this Christmas season.  Each year after Thanksgiving a woman sets up a little space across from Santa, dresses in a festive green outfit and has with her a little organ grinder type monkey.  Pogo is about a foot tall standing up and wears a red vest and a little red hat and I guess a lot of the locals must bring their kids in every year for a visit.  I don't know what Pogo actually does but then I've never trusted monkeys so I keep my distance.

I was walking out of our office this afternoon and see the lady walking down the hall with Pogo sitting on her right shoulder.  The lady's head is about 45 degrees to the left as she walks, monkey breath probably not the most appealing thing in the world,  and every once in a while I hear her say "Ouch".

I'm going the same way but behind her and finally comment;  "I thought we had beasts to bear out burdens instead of the other way around" and she answers back, "Maybe next year".

Later that afternoon I'm on a test and we see ahead of us a bouncy little cockier spaniel sticking his head out the car window.  This makes me think that monkeys must really be smarter than dogs.  I know this because, although I have seen thousands of happy dog faces staring into the wind, I have never see a monkey sticking it's head out a car window.  Pogo always looks worried, as if he knows that, getting on in years, he might forget his place, stick his head out the window going home, and get a bug in the eye. 

Along the same line we know that people must be at least as smart as monkeys because we rarely stick out heads outside the car when driving, except if you are a teenager, but I digress.

Senior Cell Phone

Jackie and I have had the same old cell phones for years.  If there are human years and dog years I suppose we could count our phone's age by fruit fly years.  We do not use those fat little babies to text and to take photos or videos, to play games, to check on the weather or access Google.  There are a million apps wasted in our universe.

The flips wear out every few years (multi-generations in bug years) and we've replaced a couple of batteries, and besides that all works as intended.  Yet every time I go into the Sprint store a person barely old enough to take a road test with me looks at my device as if seeing something they have heard about but never seen.  So far flip parts have been found in a dusty shoe box somewhere at another store where "they don't like to throw anything away".

However - - - - - - - - We have just updated ourselves.  Jackie was watching, what else, QVC, which was promoting prepaid plans without contracts.  This prompted me to research prepaid plans and I found one that fit our needs and will save us over $50 a month.  We did need to get new phones though and now we have a camera and text keys and Lord knows what else in a much thinner object.  Five cents per minute, two cents per text, minutes available in multiple combinations which we can replenish without paying for unused minutes.  No contract or monthly fees.  Hope everything works as planned.

The other day Jackie mentioned that Helen wanted a cell phone in case something happens when she is out driving.  Some years back she had one, got into an accident, and the policeman was able to call someone in the family whose name was on her speed dial.  Somehow, and probably for good reason, the phone plan got dropped and Helen never missed it.

Helen's sister Dorthy recently asked why she didn't have a cell phone with her when she drives so now the thought is on the front burner.  There are some problems with the idea, first of which is that even if the phone is very simple to operate it may still be beyond Helen's ability to remember how to operate something she will use infrequently if at all.

In my research I found a phone and plan designed for seniors, but there was a better deal with a plan designed for kids.  Five dollars a month includes 10 minutes (extra if needed for 10 cents per), no contract, simple phone.  We went in with Jennifer and Jim for Christmas and if it gives Helen peace of mind, great.  If she freaks out, no problem.

You should see the license agreement that I had to click, "I agree" to on-line. Written in big letters it had phrases like "You should not be doing anything naughty with this phone".  A good Christmas thought anyway.  Jackie and I think we can use her label maker to put operating instructions on the back, but we are wondering if we should put a bunch of names in the speed dial or just stick one person with all the calls.

He He, any volunteers?

Oh Snappers!

Andrew came in for his test this week bright eyed and bushy tailed.  All of his 18 years were anxious to get a driver's license.  He told me as we were leaving the parking lot that - "I had a baby 5 months ago, on the 5th."  I wanted to respond, "Gee, I bet that really hurt.  You look in great shape now" but I was good.

Andrew tells me that he works a seasonal job and that his mother is his manager.

Later on we were taking a right hand turn and Andrew choose the wrong lane to turn into, prompting him to say - "Oh snappers!"  I laughed and repeated - "Oh snappers?"  Andrew responded,   "I know I just made a mistake and a lady at work told me that I would fail if I swore on my test.  She said that she failed her test because she asked if she could smoke".

"And you believed her? You're not supposed to smoke while on a road test but no one is going to fail someone just for asking".  "Well, she was an old lady and I trusted her".  I came back, "Define old".  Andrew replied, "About 30, maybe 35".

Laughing again I asked Andrew, "How old do you think I am?"  "Oh, maybe 40, 45".

"Andrew, I have 21 grandchildren", to which he responds, "My mother is 39 and she is a great grandmother".

"That's interesting" I say, but then Andrew catches himself and clarifies, "Oh, my brother has a baby and then me, so I guess she is a grandmother and not a great grandmother".

Oh snappers.  Another enlightening test.  

Floating Sub

I took a Middle School substitute job today, signed in at the main office, and was sitting at the teacher's desk in the empty 8th grade math class waiting for the first class period to begin when, lo and behold, the regular teacher walks in.  "Who are you?  I don't need a substitute today."

We go to the office and determine that someone (not me) hit the wrong key when placing a substitute order for the same teacher yesterday.  The secretary calls around to see if someone needs a sub, no one does, so the principal makes up a schedule of classes for me to go to "help out" if needed.

I am now officially considered a floating substitute, or floating sub, which is what I guess you want a sub to do.  However, in the minds of many of the students I was suspected of being the kind of sub that moves under the water for stealth purposes. 

"This is Senior LaBarge" the Spanish teacher would announce to her class.  He is here to help me out today".  Well it's soon obvious to the kids that the only help I'm providing is to pass out some work sheets, to look at the seating chart, but mostly to stare at them sternly during the class period.

"Are you a substitute or a helper?" one would ask.  "I'd smile and say, "Yes, I'm your teacher's special helper today.  "Are you an undercover agent, FBI?" the kids would whisper as I walked past them, looking over their nervous shoulders.  "Is there something I should know about?"  I whispered back.

On a different note, one of the classes I watched today was 7th and 8th grade Choir.  I never had Choir in school so I don't have anything to compare this class to, but it was an amazing experience.  Consider this, the teacher had almost 60 middle school kids to work with, and not only was he in complete control the entire time, but both he and the entire class looked and acted like they were having a wonderful time.

The teacher was young, engaging and full of energy.  When he stood on his conducting stand and the class began going through the song WINTER WONDERLAND, the effect was almost magical.  They would applaud themselves when they got a part right, they would cheer the kids selected for different quartet solos, and sound of their harmonies was actually pretty good for Middle Schoolers.

Half way through the class a guy who used to be the Middle School Choir teacher but is now the High School one enters the room to help out for a different number.  The teacher asks if the class wants to sing WINTER WONDERLAND for this guy but they all respond,  "No, we want to sing HALLELUJAH!"  So the teacher asks a student to come up and play the song on the piano, the class does well with the singing, the piano girl is great on both the instrument and her little solo at the end,  and you could sense the pride these kids had with their performance.

The high school teacher then does his bit, playing the piano as well as working with the different sections of singers.  He too is good, in command and achieves a lot.  But it's different.  He says to me after the class.  "I was the Middle School Choir teacher for many years until I moved up to the High School.  Things have sure changed here".  I thought, "You have no idea".

Truth be told, after officially making me a floating sub for the day the school could easily have sent me on an early cruise home.  But what fun would that have been?

Oh My Crazy Cousins

Someone once said, not to long ago on my Facebook in fact, that cousins are the first friends we have and that no one understands us like our crazy family. That led me to think; what do I really know about some of them? Is the past a clue to the present? Sure, like me they are crazy, but why? It got me thinking about the Van Lente clan.

While still a young man my Uncle Dale traveled to the far away kingdom of Vermont where he fell in love with the princess Ann. Dale met Ann at a wedding given by the powerful Lord Boston. But evil Lord Vermont, secretly in love with Ann, was jealous of the attention Dale was paying to her and so he locked Ann away, deep in the salt mines of the Green Mountains.

Ann, who was charming, beautiful and very sophisticated, was no stranger to hard work. Her earlier hardy farm life upbringing inspired her to stay busy, making little silver spoons that were to be used in the crystal salt dishes that were the pride of the kingdom.

One day Dale devised a plan. Dressed in flowing black pants, plaid shirt, black kerchief and hat, he snuck past the unsuspecting guards, aided by the silence his wooden shoes provided on the salty ground. “Ann, I love you and I want to take you away from all of this” were Dale's earnest first words after finding her dark and chilly cell.

“I love you too” replied Ann. “But I don't know if I can leave, you know, - the crystal - the silver - the cute little salt elves.” Eventually Dale's rugged good looks, his quick wit, and his funny clothes convinced Ann to escape with him and travel back to Dale's homeland along side the Big Lake.

They got married and had two golden haired daughters, Katrina and Gretel. Ann would not let the girls cut their beautiful hair, and every night she would stroke their ankle length locks 100 times through with an antique wooden comb, nicknamed “Perseverance”.

As the oldest Katrina embraced the arts. She didn't just play the horn, she played - The French Horn. I remember seeing her, sitting on a stone bench under their grape arbor, dressed in the area's traditional garb, Lake Michigan breezes blowing through her long braided hair, with eyes closed, playing that twisted instrument. If you straightened the brass and Katrina called out “R I C O L A”, nothing would have seemed out of place.

And then there is Gretel, dear Gretel. She would sit for hours on her piano bench, playing with the wood and brass metronome, saying “Zero One, Zero One” or some combination of the two.

Her family lived in a house that was over 100 years old. One dark and stormy night when Dale and Ann were gone, leaving the girls alone with Katrina in charge, the electricity went out. Katrina lighted an old vesper candle and gingerly descended into the dark and damp old cellar, looking for the fuse box. Gretel went to the cellar doorway and said in a low voice; “Who dares enter my domain”, creating the desired effect on her sister.

Anyway, I wish I could tell you that they turned out normal, but then I would have to embellish the truth a bit.