Tooth Ba Rush

Got invaded yesterday by three little granddaughters, one blond, one burnet and one red head, who came over to sew with Jackie.  They brought their American Girl dolls, went to Field fabrics (we call it Mood from the show Project Runway), picked out the material they wanted, made the ladies at Mood jealous of Grandma Jackie, then went back to the house to slave their 8 and 9 year old bodies over the cutting tables and sewing machine.

Tried to stay out of their way but found out that evening when I went to check on them that they had found my sour cherry candy from Christmas that I was saving for a special occasion and had enjoyed themselves quite a bit.  They even thought this was funny.  Couldn't think of a better special occasion though.

Ellie the red head, who normally greets me with a hug and "Hello Grandpa" slapped me five and said "Hey Gramps".  Daphne the blond was working at the sewing machine looking like she really knew what she was doing.  And our dark haired beauty Raleigh was carefully cutting fabric along the edge of a pattern.

They slept over that night and after brushing their teeth they all started chanting "tooth ba rush, tooth ba rush".  This went on for quite a long time, followed by the normal loud chatter, interspersed with someone yelling out "tooth ba rush" which make all three of them giggle, no matter how many times this was repeated.

When they went to pack this morning they were rapping some songs that were basically different variations of this:  "One jump, two jump, step on the pie", rear ends wiggling and hands a waving, and then "No No.  One jump, two jump, step on the bus".  A new version always good for laughs.

The only conflict seemed to be who would end up with the middle seat when riding in the back.  Jackie solved the problem because she had three places to go with the girls (like McDonalds for shakes after Mood).  I was unaware of all this.  After I packed the car today and told the girls to get in, Daphne (having learned to survive with two older brothers) jumps in on one side and fastens her seat belt while the other two are still yelling "not it". 

Since no one wants to sit up front with Gramps someone ended up being "it".  But we had a good time on the way home and I was sad/happy to see them go. 

Jose

One of the people on my schedule for yesterday was Jose.  An old blue Chevrolet Blazer pulls into the test area and out pops a guy about 66 years old with grey, stringy, shoulder length hair forcing itself out of a baseball cap with a big "TEXAS" on it.

"You must be Jose.  My name is Bob.  I will need to see your permit and the registration and proof of insurance for your vehicle". 

Jose tells me to call him Mike, says that this is his daughter's car,  and hands me the documents.  He then gets back in the Blazer.  I finish putting the information onto the score sheet and hand Mike my clipboard to have him sign his name at the bottom.  When I do so I look over to the passenger seat and see a black man sitting there who seems about the same age and condition as Mike.

I point to the other guy and say to Mike;  "I'm guessing that this is NOT your daughter".  Mike laughs so hard that the pen streaks from his signature all the way across the score sheet.  The black guy laughs as well so I continue; "Cause I've seen some ugly women in my life . . . ".  And the man finishes "And I sure takes the cake!"

A Light Shines In The Darkness

Christmas comes in the week with the least daylight. 

When we celebrate family, friends and Immanuel, God with us, some of us may find ourselves longing to recapture the sense of excitement and awe remembered from childhood.  Responsibilities and worries can crowd out wonder and joy, and at the end of the day there may be a mess to clean up as well.

Christmas comes in the week with the least daylight, but there is a light that shines in the darkness.

I received a newsletter yesterday from a young man who was one of the kids when we had a small  home church for seven years.  He grew up and married a woman who would travel on temporary medical assignments to rural areas around the country.  Eric and Renee eventually moved back to town.  He bought a business and they had three kids, but their hearts were telling them to go to the mission field.

Their family just finished a year of language study in Costa Rica and will leave the end of this year for Shell, Ecuador where they want to look "for where God is at work and join Him there."  The opinion of the world is that it is arrogant to go to another culture to share the love of Christ, but my first thought when reading their newsletter was, "I can't imagine how difficult it would be to humble yourself that way".

The dad of one of my road test clients today works with disturbed and often violent adults at Pine Rest.  I asked him how he got into that line of work.  Lynn told me that he was a youth pastor for many years.  There were a few kids that needed special help and this led him to start things like half way houses and other special services.  Eventually he ended up working at Pine Rest.  His group of men do a 6 month program and Lynn's rewards come with seeing their eventual progress.

A light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

The account of Jesus birth in Matthew 2 tells us the story of the magi and their gifts.  But if we read on we see what follows is the slaughter of the children by the order of Herod.  "A voice was heard in Rama, Weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and she refused to be comforted"

Try as he did Herod was not able to extinguish the light.  Jesus of course did not remain a baby.  In the course of time the Spirit led Him to John to be baptized, and coming out of the water the Spirit descends on Him like a dove and the Father says; "You are my beloved Son, in You I am well pleased".  Mark 1:11 
Jesus calls the 12 and ministers for about 3 years.

At the end of the 13th and into the 14th chapter of John, Jesus tells His disciples that the time was coming soon when He would be glorified, and this would bring glory as well to the Father. This meant that He would soon be leaving them.  Peter, wanting to follow Jesus, asked Him where He was going, and Jesus responds that Peter could not follow where He was going now ( the cross) but later he would be able to follow (Jesus would rise from the grave, ascend into Heaven, and be with the Father). " In my Father's house are many dwelling places . . . I go to prepare a place for you, and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also". 

Jesus assures His disciples that they will know the way He is going. Thomas then says that if they don't know where He is going then how can they know the way. And Jesus answers; "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through me".  Jesus teaches His disciples that they will know the Father by knowing Jesus, because His words are the Father's words and His works are the Father's works. "Believe Me that I am in the Father, and the Father is in me, otherwise believe on account of the works themselves. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go to the Father".

Now Jesus tells His disciples that the Father will give them another "Helper" who would be with them forever, "that is the Spirit of truth, who the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you, and will be in you". A little later Jesus says; "These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you, but the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you".


Earlier in His ministry Jesus sent out seventy of His followers in the power of the Holy Spirit to do the works of the Father -  proclaiming the kingdom, healing the sick, and casting out evil spirits. And the Holy Spirit that was imparted upon them enabled them to come back with joy saying that "even the demons are subject to us in Your name." (Luke 10). But now Jesus was telling them that soon this same Holy Spirit would be living in them.

In Acts 1, forty days after the resurrection and just before Jesus ascends to Heaven He commands the disciples not to leave Jerusalem but to wait for what the Father had promised through Him; "John baptized with water, but you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now . . . you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be my witnesses". And the Father poured out the Holy Spirit upon the church at Pentecost 10 days later.

All believers have a reborn spirit that is indwelt by the Holy Spirit. But not all experience a great release of the Spirit into their lives.  Baptism speaks of an immersion, and the baptism with the Holy Spirit given at Pentecost was an immersion of the Holy Spirit into the soul of man, to empower us to do the works of the Father. The soul (mind, personality, will, desires) usually changes a lot after salvation because of the presence of the Holy Spirit in the spirit. And all born again believers yield to the working of the Spirit that ministers to their soul to one degree or another. 

But God also has available to man a baptism, an in flooding, a surge of the Holy Spirit into the soul that clears away many of the barriers of doubt, fear and pride that reside there even after being born again. Surrendering our souls to the mighty wind and the incoming flood of the Holy Spirit should result in the "greater works" that Jesus spoke about.

The gift then of the Holy Spirit is not just for our benefit, but also for a world that remains mostly in darkness.  Let us unwrap that gift this Christmas season and let it shine.

Pogo

The office at one of the locations I work is in a sleepy little Mall that is fighting to stay alive in the current recession.  The Big Boy left 2 months ago after apparently not paying rent for a year and just this week a Pearle Vision across the hall saw the light and moved to a better location on 28th street.  A sign on the Joseph A. Banks store to one side of our office announces a closing sale, location to be vacated by January 1st.  When you see 50% off at a Banks it makes you wonder.

There is a Post Office and a Secretary of State office and I think that they must generate 80% of the Mall traffic.  I would be surprised if the motley group of seniors who walk the Mall spend much.  Our business recently partnered with an organization to give a 4 hour driving class to people who want to have points removed from their driving records.  That is held in an empty store space (take your pick)  twice a week and attracts about 50 people per class.

But there is hope.  Pogo was back again this Christmas season.  Each year after Thanksgiving a woman sets up a little space across from Santa, dresses in a festive green outfit and has with her a little organ grinder type monkey.  Pogo is about a foot tall standing up and wears a red vest and a little red hat and I guess a lot of the locals must bring their kids in every year for a visit.  I don't know what Pogo actually does but then I've never trusted monkeys so I keep my distance.

I was walking out of our office this afternoon and see the lady walking down the hall with Pogo sitting on her right shoulder.  The lady's head is about 45 degrees to the left as she walks, monkey breath probably not the most appealing thing in the world,  and every once in a while I hear her say "Ouch".

I'm going the same way but behind her and finally comment;  "I thought we had beasts to bear out burdens instead of the other way around" and she answers back, "Maybe next year".

Later that afternoon I'm on a test and we see ahead of us a bouncy little cockier spaniel sticking his head out the car window.  This makes me think that monkeys must really be smarter than dogs.  I know this because, although I have seen thousands of happy dog faces staring into the wind, I have never see a monkey sticking it's head out a car window.  Pogo always looks worried, as if he knows that, getting on in years, he might forget his place, stick his head out the window going home, and get a bug in the eye. 

Along the same line we know that people must be at least as smart as monkeys because we rarely stick out heads outside the car when driving, except if you are a teenager, but I digress.

Senior Cell Phone

Jackie and I have had the same old cell phones for years.  If there are human years and dog years I suppose we could count our phone's age by fruit fly years.  We do not use those fat little babies to text and to take photos or videos, to play games, to check on the weather or access Google.  There are a million apps wasted in our universe.

The flips wear out every few years (multi-generations in bug years) and we've replaced a couple of batteries, and besides that all works as intended.  Yet every time I go into the Sprint store a person barely old enough to take a road test with me looks at my device as if seeing something they have heard about but never seen.  So far flip parts have been found in a dusty shoe box somewhere at another store where "they don't like to throw anything away".

However - - - - - - - - We have just updated ourselves.  Jackie was watching, what else, QVC, which was promoting prepaid plans without contracts.  This prompted me to research prepaid plans and I found one that fit our needs and will save us over $50 a month.  We did need to get new phones though and now we have a camera and text keys and Lord knows what else in a much thinner object.  Five cents per minute, two cents per text, minutes available in multiple combinations which we can replenish without paying for unused minutes.  No contract or monthly fees.  Hope everything works as planned.

The other day Jackie mentioned that Helen wanted a cell phone in case something happens when she is out driving.  Some years back she had one, got into an accident, and the policeman was able to call someone in the family whose name was on her speed dial.  Somehow, and probably for good reason, the phone plan got dropped and Helen never missed it.

Helen's sister Dorthy recently asked why she didn't have a cell phone with her when she drives so now the thought is on the front burner.  There are some problems with the idea, first of which is that even if the phone is very simple to operate it may still be beyond Helen's ability to remember how to operate something she will use infrequently if at all.

In my research I found a phone and plan designed for seniors, but there was a better deal with a plan designed for kids.  Five dollars a month includes 10 minutes (extra if needed for 10 cents per), no contract, simple phone.  We went in with Jennifer and Jim for Christmas and if it gives Helen peace of mind, great.  If she freaks out, no problem.

You should see the license agreement that I had to click, "I agree" to on-line. Written in big letters it had phrases like "You should not be doing anything naughty with this phone".  A good Christmas thought anyway.  Jackie and I think we can use her label maker to put operating instructions on the back, but we are wondering if we should put a bunch of names in the speed dial or just stick one person with all the calls.

He He, any volunteers?

Oh Snappers!

Andrew came in for his test this week bright eyed and bushy tailed.  All of his 18 years were anxious to get a driver's license.  He told me as we were leaving the parking lot that - "I had a baby 5 months ago, on the 5th."  I wanted to respond, "Gee, I bet that really hurt.  You look in great shape now" but I was good.

Andrew tells me that he works a seasonal job and that his mother is his manager.

Later on we were taking a right hand turn and Andrew choose the wrong lane to turn into, prompting him to say - "Oh snappers!"  I laughed and repeated - "Oh snappers?"  Andrew responded,   "I know I just made a mistake and a lady at work told me that I would fail if I swore on my test.  She said that she failed her test because she asked if she could smoke".

"And you believed her? You're not supposed to smoke while on a road test but no one is going to fail someone just for asking".  "Well, she was an old lady and I trusted her".  I came back, "Define old".  Andrew replied, "About 30, maybe 35".

Laughing again I asked Andrew, "How old do you think I am?"  "Oh, maybe 40, 45".

"Andrew, I have 21 grandchildren", to which he responds, "My mother is 39 and she is a great grandmother".

"That's interesting" I say, but then Andrew catches himself and clarifies, "Oh, my brother has a baby and then me, so I guess she is a grandmother and not a great grandmother".

Oh snappers.  Another enlightening test.  

Floating Sub

I took a Middle School substitute job today, signed in at the main office, and was sitting at the teacher's desk in the empty 8th grade math class waiting for the first class period to begin when, lo and behold, the regular teacher walks in.  "Who are you?  I don't need a substitute today."

We go to the office and determine that someone (not me) hit the wrong key when placing a substitute order for the same teacher yesterday.  The secretary calls around to see if someone needs a sub, no one does, so the principal makes up a schedule of classes for me to go to "help out" if needed.

I am now officially considered a floating substitute, or floating sub, which is what I guess you want a sub to do.  However, in the minds of many of the students I was suspected of being the kind of sub that moves under the water for stealth purposes. 

"This is Senior LaBarge" the Spanish teacher would announce to her class.  He is here to help me out today".  Well it's soon obvious to the kids that the only help I'm providing is to pass out some work sheets, to look at the seating chart, but mostly to stare at them sternly during the class period.

"Are you a substitute or a helper?" one would ask.  "I'd smile and say, "Yes, I'm your teacher's special helper today.  "Are you an undercover agent, FBI?" the kids would whisper as I walked past them, looking over their nervous shoulders.  "Is there something I should know about?"  I whispered back.

On a different note, one of the classes I watched today was 7th and 8th grade Choir.  I never had Choir in school so I don't have anything to compare this class to, but it was an amazing experience.  Consider this, the teacher had almost 60 middle school kids to work with, and not only was he in complete control the entire time, but both he and the entire class looked and acted like they were having a wonderful time.

The teacher was young, engaging and full of energy.  When he stood on his conducting stand and the class began going through the song WINTER WONDERLAND, the effect was almost magical.  They would applaud themselves when they got a part right, they would cheer the kids selected for different quartet solos, and sound of their harmonies was actually pretty good for Middle Schoolers.

Half way through the class a guy who used to be the Middle School Choir teacher but is now the High School one enters the room to help out for a different number.  The teacher asks if the class wants to sing WINTER WONDERLAND for this guy but they all respond,  "No, we want to sing HALLELUJAH!"  So the teacher asks a student to come up and play the song on the piano, the class does well with the singing, the piano girl is great on both the instrument and her little solo at the end,  and you could sense the pride these kids had with their performance.

The high school teacher then does his bit, playing the piano as well as working with the different sections of singers.  He too is good, in command and achieves a lot.  But it's different.  He says to me after the class.  "I was the Middle School Choir teacher for many years until I moved up to the High School.  Things have sure changed here".  I thought, "You have no idea".

Truth be told, after officially making me a floating sub for the day the school could easily have sent me on an early cruise home.  But what fun would that have been?

Oh My Crazy Cousins

Someone once said, not to long ago on my Facebook in fact, that cousins are the first friends we have and that no one understands us like our crazy family. That led me to think; what do I really know about some of them? Is the past a clue to the present? Sure, like me they are crazy, but why? It got me thinking about the Van Lente clan.

While still a young man my Uncle Dale traveled to the far away kingdom of Vermont where he fell in love with the princess Ann. Dale met Ann at a wedding given by the powerful Lord Boston. But evil Lord Vermont, secretly in love with Ann, was jealous of the attention Dale was paying to her and so he locked Ann away, deep in the salt mines of the Green Mountains.

Ann, who was charming, beautiful and very sophisticated, was no stranger to hard work. Her earlier hardy farm life upbringing inspired her to stay busy, making little silver spoons that were to be used in the crystal salt dishes that were the pride of the kingdom.

One day Dale devised a plan. Dressed in flowing black pants, plaid shirt, black kerchief and hat, he snuck past the unsuspecting guards, aided by the silence his wooden shoes provided on the salty ground. “Ann, I love you and I want to take you away from all of this” were Dale's earnest first words after finding her dark and chilly cell.

“I love you too” replied Ann. “But I don't know if I can leave, you know, - the crystal - the silver - the cute little salt elves.” Eventually Dale's rugged good looks, his quick wit, and his funny clothes convinced Ann to escape with him and travel back to Dale's homeland along side the Big Lake.

They got married and had two golden haired daughters, Katrina and Gretel. Ann would not let the girls cut their beautiful hair, and every night she would stroke their ankle length locks 100 times through with an antique wooden comb, nicknamed “Perseverance”.

As the oldest Katrina embraced the arts. She didn't just play the horn, she played - The French Horn. I remember seeing her, sitting on a stone bench under their grape arbor, dressed in the area's traditional garb, Lake Michigan breezes blowing through her long braided hair, with eyes closed, playing that twisted instrument. If you straightened the brass and Katrina called out “R I C O L A”, nothing would have seemed out of place.

And then there is Gretel, dear Gretel. She would sit for hours on her piano bench, playing with the wood and brass metronome, saying “Zero One, Zero One” or some combination of the two.

Her family lived in a house that was over 100 years old. One dark and stormy night when Dale and Ann were gone, leaving the girls alone with Katrina in charge, the electricity went out. Katrina lighted an old vesper candle and gingerly descended into the dark and damp old cellar, looking for the fuse box. Gretel went to the cellar doorway and said in a low voice; “Who dares enter my domain”, creating the desired effect on her sister.

Anyway, I wish I could tell you that they turned out normal, but then I would have to embellish the truth a bit.

Oh The Old Rugged Cross

 My life changed near the end of November, 1972.  Below is a re-post from my 2 Timothy 2:2 blog writing about it in November of 2006.

OH THE OLD RUGGED CROSS

I attended Catholic School from 2nd grade through 8th grade, and every morning would go directly from the school bus into church for morning mass, then from mass to my classroom. Everyday, whether I noticed it or not, there was a cross sitting on top of the church, a crucifix at the front of the church, a crucifix on a post carried by an altar boy (and sometimes I was that altar boy), and a crucifix at the front of every class room. At home we had a crucifix hanging in our hallway, and for a time my mother would gather her kids in front of the crucifix to say the rosary.

We had religious education daily, or if not daily then at least once a week. And when I went to the public high school I still had weekly CCD classes and Sunday Mass. It was while in high school that I started to question if God really existed. By the time I was in college, and I went to a Catholic college, I was convinced that God was a myth necessary because of mankind’s ultimate destination, death.

It wasn’t until after college and in my first year of marriage that we had a heated family argument at the Johnson dinner table about abortion, which somehow merged into religion (I was never going to argue religion). That night I told Jackie to lay her hands on me and pray that God would reveal Himself to me. I figured if there was a God who was intelligent and thus had a will for me then it would be stupid not to know what that will was. Intellectually I still couldn’t wrap my mind around God although I had spent many sleepless nights trying to. 

When Jackie prayed nothing seemed to happen. But over the next 6 weeks I began to get a lot of answers to questions I had, and saw the power of God move in really interesting ways. In fact, I began to believe that prayer would activate the power of God even if I personally still didn’t believe in God. And as I shared in the last post, one afternoon He led me to confess my sins and lay down my life before Him, and to step out in faith (without first seeing or feeling), and He became Light and Truth in my life.

It was the scripture from Luke 11 that reached out and grabbed me: "Ask and you shall receive; seek and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened to you. For whoever asks, receives; whoever seeks, finds; whoever knocks, is admitted. What father among you will give his son a snake if he asks for a fish, or hand him a scorpion if he asks for an egg? If you, with all your sins, know how to give your children good things, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him."

Some years later I had a chance to go back into one of my grade school classrooms and talk to some 5th graders, and I noticed the crucifix on the wall. I realized that although I had always known that Jesus died for the sins of men and then rose from the dead, the connection never was made in my brain - Why was that necessary? And even, during those 6 weeks prior to my conversion when I read and began to understand the why, there still was another step. Faith doesn't bring knowledge of the Truth from the brain to the heart.  The Holy Spirit brings Truth to the heart, which then informs the brain.

Oh the old rugged cross.  Praise God!  He did it for my sin, He did it for me.

22A

My Dad once told me a story about a man named Frank who was sent to prison.  The first night after lights were out he heard someone yell out "87".  Laughter from all the inmates.  This was followed by a voice from another part of the prison block, "102".  Again more laughter, the process continued on for about an hour.  Every time someone would yell out a number the response would be either chuckling, giggles or uproarous laughter.

The next morning Frank asked his cell mate what the deal was.  "Prison rules say we are not allowed to talk after the cell block gets dark.  Well, there is a joke book in the prison library and all the jokes are numbered.  The guys memorize the jokes and then call them out after dark".  Wanting to fit in Frank spent all of his free time that day memorizing the book's contents.  When the lights darkened someone called out "10", which got laughter, and so forth.  Finally Frank screwed up his courage and loudly said, "42".  Silence.  "95".  Again silence.  "102".  You could have heard a pin drop.

The next morning Frank asked his cell mate why his numbers elicited silence.  "Well you know, some people just can't tell jokes".

I'm 61 and I've learned to live with people not getting my humor.  My first attempt was when I was about 5 and I was with my parents at the Russ drive-in.  After ordering a root beer float I asked my parents if they knew the difference between a boy elephant and a girl elephant.  My folks told me years later that they looked at each other and thought, Oh dear!  How are we going to explain the birds and the bees to a 5 year old using elephants?.  They finally said "How?" and I replied, "The girl elephant wears lipstick".  (note: Lipstick still works as a punchline).

Before that I was considered A VERY SERIOUS BOY.  It was the mistaking laughter of relief for the appreciation of word play that sent me on a different path, sometimes to my detriment.  An adult who sees humor in the often mundane commerce of everyday life can be considered NOT A VERY SERIOUS PERSON.  But - - - Sometimes I can't help myself.

A year ago I attended training to qualify for doing a certain type of driver evaluations.  The class was conducted by Dennis, a Canadian who, yes, was 10 times more knowledgeable about driving than I am.  In his class we learned that about the worst thing that could happen to a driver was to run into a 1500 lb moose.  It seems that moose are a big problem where Dennis is from, and every day we would get a moose example.

Dennis had two habits.  He would never acknowledge the validity of any answer given him when he asked a question, always finding a different way to express the same thing, and he would chuckle to himself while lecturing, which consisted of him reading off of an overhead the pages we had in the book in front of us.  Dennis was one of the main contributing authors of the book.

One day we came to the yellow section, page 22.  Dennis told us that page 22 did not fit entirely on the overhead and that the next overhead should be considered page 22A.  I piped up, "So the Canadian way of saying this should be, page 22, EH?".  Of course he didn't laugh.

I was talking to Becky on the phone yesterday and she told me that she was reading my post on left handed pencils from her cell phone while at work and was chortling out loud.  Her co-workers wanted to know what was so funny so she began reading them the post.  "Why would your dad put the pencils in two piles and tell anyone some are right handed and some left handed?" they asked, baffled.  To which Becky, not having experienced the years of bafflement her father has, responded, as only Becky can;  "BECAUSE THEY ARE 6TH GRADERS!"

Poor Becky.  She went to her first parent-teacher conference for Mello.  The teacher told her;  "Your daughter sometimes tells me jokes, and comments on mine".  "Well, that's nice" said Becky, use to it at home, to which the teacher responded, "She's three.  Three year olds don't tell jokes".   That's my granddaughter! 




 


 

Broken English

One of my favorite sisters, Char, came to town today with her youngest.  Mason wants to take up a career in aviation. WMU has the 3rd ranked program for that in the country and they came to check it out.  After a day of meetings, and seeing those "beautiful almost new airplanes" they seemed convinced that Western would be the best place.

This evening Jackie and I had a delightful dinner at Applebees with Char and Mason, and I remarked to Mason that I was counting on him to provide material for this blog.  As we were leaving Mason told me that he did a theatrical performance this summer.  "I stood on stage and told puns."  I asked him how it went and he replied; "Well, it was basically just a play on words."  Thanks Mason.

Earlier in the day I had a road test for a woman who was brought to us by and older guy named Manny.  This guy teaches driver ed for adults and is quite a character.  He used to teach high school in Grand Rapids and then did substitute teaching for 7 years after that.  One time, knowing that I would be substituting I asked Manny for any tips if I ever happened to sub in GR.  Manny grumbled; "I used to tell them first thing, I'm having a bad day. Don't mess with me, and that seemed to work."   OOOO K.

Anyway, Manny says that this girl needs someone to translate and so this other lady is going to help her.  I position the other lady next to me and begin.  She doesn't help at all when I ask the girl for documents and do the vehicle inspection, but then that part doesn't usually need much help.  Then I instruct the driver that during the part in the parking lot with the cones it will be a penalty each time the car hits a cone or crosses over any of the lines.  I look to the lady to translate and she says;  "Donn heet da cones or da line."

I then ask the lady what her country is and she tells me Liberia.  "Isn't English the official language in Liberia?" I ask. "It tis, only it'sa broken English."  OOOO K.

Light Affliction

 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.  (2 Corinthians 4:17)




Several years ago I did a blog called 2 Timothy 2:2.  Here is one of my favorite postings.

It was the week before this Easter, as I was engaged in my daily reading of scripture, that I came across the above verse. Just before picking up my Bible I had read something in our local newspaper that caught my interest, and it must have still been banging around in my head enough to make it difficult to concentrate on the chapter from 2 Corinthians. When I read "light affliction" my first thoughts were - What type of difficulty does light cause someone? - When I get a faceful of sun it makes me sneeze. Is it like that? - Was there something called "light affliction" in Jesus day? - Do I need to check another translation to figure this out? I actually had to reread the paragraph a couple of times before the "light" went off in my brain. Several days later I went back and read chapters three, four and five to get the full context of Paul's argument. I also read chapters nineteen through thirty-four in Exodus to better understand the analogies that Paul was drawing from. Eventually I understood that, in both 2 Corinthians and Exodus, there is a type of "light affliction" that all mankind has in common, and that the resurrection of Christ, celebrated at Easter, provides us a promise of hope that one day we will be healed from it.

Two verses past 4:17 it says; For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house (our body) is torn down, we have a building from God (a better body), a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven. Inasmuch as we, having put it on, shall not be found naked. For indeed, while we are in this tent we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed, but to be clothed, in order that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.

Our assurance that Jesus actually rose from the dead, and that He will change our earthly tent into an eternal dwelling place with Him, is given to us by the Spirit. By faith we followed the leading of the Spirit and confessed that the death of Jesus on the cross was for us personally, both the punishment and the payment that The Father demanded because of our sins and our sinful nature. This faith allowed that same Spirit to bring Christ into our hearts, changing our spirit nature into a new creation. The Spirit can now dwell within us, and where the Spirit is there is light, a portion of the glory of God. But, although our body will one day be changed and we will be able to more fully abide in the glory of the Almighty, it is now still earthly. We struggle daily to overcome the carnal desires of both the body and the mind, and the tendency of all matter to breakdown over time. And like Paul, we may also endure trials from a fallen world that hates the light, and thus hates those in whom the light abides. It is a struggle to live a life in the light of Christ when the opposition comes from both without and within. We may often long to be released from the confines of our earthly body and soul, to be in the glorious presence of our God. But Paul tells us it is best to follow this simple advice. Our desire should be, both in this life and in the next  to be pleasing to Him. (2 Corinthians 5:9)

The book of Exodus tells the story of the Jewish people leaving their captivity in Egypt, and the journey to the land promised to them by God. On the first day of the third month they enter into the Sinai wilderness, and camp next to MT. Sinai. The awesome presence of Almight God is made known by the dark cloud and the flashing lightening at the top of the mountain, and later when the top of the mountain looks like it is on fire. When God speaks to the people His voice sounds like thunder. And the physical sights and sounds of God frighten the people. One of the things He tells them is that they are to honor Him alone, and are not to fashion idols. Later on He tells Moses, Aaron, Aaron's two oldest sons, and seventy of the elders of the people to advance up the mountain, although only Moses is allowed to come near to God. When they went up the group saw the God of Israel, and under His feet there appeared to be a pavement of sapphire, as clear as the sky itself". (Exodus 24:10) The group eat and drink before God, who then calls Moses to come into His presence. At this time the others descend the mountain and wait for Moses. Moses went up to the mountain, and the cloud covered the mountain. And the glory of the Lord rested on Mount Sinai, and the cloud covered it for six days; and on the seventh day He called to Moses from the midst of the cloud. And to the eyes of the sons of Israel the appearance of the glory of the Lord was like a consuming fire on the mountain top. And Moses was on the mountain forty days and forty nights. (Ex. 24: 15-18)

Some amazing things happen during those 40 days. On the top of the mountain God gives instructions to Moses concerning His laws, and shows Moses the patterns for the tabernacle, including the materials, the furniture, the priestly garments, and the things that the priest were to do. And God Himself writes down His laws (my sense is that this is much more that the 10 commandments) on tablets of stone for Moses to take back with him. But on the bottom of the mountain, even though there is still an obvious visible presence of the cloud and the fire on top of the mountain, the people grow restless. They forget about the pillar of cloud that was with them every day since they left Egypt, and the pillar of fire that was with them every night. They complain to Aaron whose tribe will become the priests for the nation. They begin to doubt that Moses is going to return, and they ask Aaron to make them an idol to be a god that they can worship. Now the people already knew the will of God concerning idols. Aaron and his sons and the seventy elders had seen God and had eaten before Him. For four months the nation had seen and heard the awesome power of God, had been instructed as to His plan for them, had entered into a covenant with Him. They knew all these things with their brain, but their hearts were still in darkness. They were worried about what to eat. They were worried about being left to die in the wilderness. And they were having an awful time trusting a God whose features they could not describe and who was making them wait. (And are we really much different?) So Aaron collects gold from them, throws it into a fire, and out of the fire is fashioned a golden calf. The people imitate the religious practices of the Egyptian people they had recently been delivered from, and rise up to sing, dance and cavort before a god made in the image of corruptible flesh.

Moses brought down with him from the mountain laws that God Himself inscribed upon stone. When Moses saw what the people were doing, already at the beginning rebelling against those very words the finger of God engraved, he smashed the stones. But the words inscribed on stone were never intended to bring life to the people. It was not God's plan to make a religion where people would be justified by doing everything that was written there. Following the letter of the law instead brought death. God's intent was to drive man to the tabernacle to make sacrifice for his sins, yet even here scripture says often that God took no pleasure in the blood of the animal sacrifices. Instead of works of religion God was looking for obedience because of the desire of the heart. It is the physical part of us, our body and our mind (the soul) that tries to be justified by works. But it is in the heart, the reborn spirt where the Spirit of God resides, that surrenders to God.

Exodus tells us that Moses set up a tent outside the camp, and when he would go into the tent the cloud would descend upon it and the glory of God would reside inside. He would talk to God there, and when he left the tent Moses would put a veil over his face, because the brightness of the glory of God that came onto his face, even though it would eventually fade, was too much for the people to look at. (Maybe the brightness made them sneeze) Paul says that if the ministry of death, in letters engraved on stones, came with glory, so that the sons of Israel could not look intently at the face of Moses, because of the glory of his face, fading as it was, how shall the ministry of the Spirit fail to be even more with glory? (2 Cor. 3: 7-8) 

The veil over the face of Moses is a reminder of the hardness of the heart of the sons of Israel in that day. and there remains a veil hiding the glory of God for them today, as well as for everyone else, until it is lifted by the Spirit when a person turns to the Lord. The god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving, that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. (2 Cor. 4:4)

Trials and tribulations are a part of the lives of believers while we live on this planet in our earthly bodies. And one reason is because we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves.  (2 Cor. 4:7) May we live our lives in the strength of the Spirit. And may the light of the Spirit and the truth of Christ shine into the lives of all those we know who struggle in this earthly realm.

 

Left Handed Pencils

Do you remember Middle School?  I sure don't.  Grades 2 thru 8 were spent at St. Francis de Sales.  Each year you got a little bit bigger and another year older but nothing much else changed.  Stayed in the same classroom, listened to the same teacher;  Mr. Zachem for 7th grade, Sister Mary Kenneth for 8th.

My Official Substitute Teacher Manual gives this helpful information under the title:  C.  Understanding Middle School students.  "This is another group that desires structure, but at times will outwardly seem to reject the boundaries.  These kids are a bundle of hormones at work.  Unfortunately, these hormones are not all working in the same direction at the same time."

In public school those hormones may cause students to question authority, make fun of other students and misbehave in the classroom.  Didn't quite work that way at St. Francis.  Everybody knew everybody else since before 1st communion and it was dangerous to disrespect your teacher.

One case in point.  In 8th grade my classmate Dave Fink, who was 6'2 at that point, got mad at 5'2" tall Sister Mary Kenneth and yelled his refusal to obey some request.  This made the good Sister mad.  She picked up a 1 foot ruler up from her desk and with black and white robes flowing began chasing the terrified Mr. Fink around the room.  This went on until Sister got too tired to continue.

Graduation from 8th grade was still not a promotion for us to High School.  At that time we had available E.E. Fell Junior High School, which enrolled grades 7, 8 and 9.  And that was a cultural shock. 350 kids to a grade instead of 40.  Physically 9th graders look at lot older than 7th graders.  At E.E. Fell  Gayle E. was a petite girl who was very well developed.  One day she had a "wardrobe malfunction" and she was half the woman she used to be.

I subbed at a Middle School for the first time this week.  The kids were great.  A little loud at times but great.  During a math class I saw a pile of pencils that the teacher had left on the desk for kids to borrow in case they forgot theirs.  I put the pencils in two groups and informed the 6th graders that one side was right handed pencils and the other was left handed, and please try not to confuse the two.

Immediately 10 hands go up, all asking the same earnest question.  "Mr. LaBarge, what's the difference between the two?"  I asked one if he was right handed or left handed.  "Right handed."  "Well there you go.  You can take a pencil from the right hand side."   When the questions persisted I offered;  "It's just the same as left and right handed screwdrivers and left and right handed hammers.  Really, not any difference."  That seemed to satisfy them.

They only problem I encountered was during a class period called "Advisory", which was like what we used to call "Study Hall".  The instructions were to let the 7th graders read or work on their homework and that they could go to the library if needed to get a book.   Each student at this school have little notebooks they carry with them that have to be initialed by the teacher if the kid wants to leave the classroom to go to the bathroom, library or office.

About a dozen lined up with their notebooks for the library but some also asked to go to the bathroom.  When the dust settled I realized that I had let about 6 girls go to the bathroom at the same time.  Normally I only let 1 at a time leave for the bathroom.  Not surprisingly, after 5 minutes none of the young ladies had returned.  I enlisted an eager girl to bring them the message that they had 60 seconds from now to get back.  All made it back within 30.  And I made it through the day unscathed.
 


  

"There's A Big Truck In The Garden!"

Jackie and I woke up this morning when we heard Helen, her 92 year old mother, yelling out from the bottom of the stairs;  "Bob, there's a big truck in the garden!"

Jackie hopped out of bed and ran to the window to see what was happening and I threw on my pants and shirt and hustled downstairs.  When I got there I saw Helen in her bedroom, dressed in a bathrobe, holding a cordless phone in her left hand and gesturing toward the window with her right hand.  "Look, do you see it?"

We both go to the window but nothing is out there.  Then we open the door to the back porch, but still nothing.  "Where did it go?" asks Helen.  We go to the living room and look out all the windows and I rush to the kitchen and dinning room to cover that side of the house.  All this time Helen is still clutching onto the cordless phone and I'm wondering what I am going to tell the police in case Helen dialed 911.

Finally, thinking it might have been people from Consumers Power or something I ask; "What kind of truck was it?"  Helen who does not have her hearing aids in cocks her head slightly to the right and says "What?"  Speaking louder this time I ask her what kind of truck was it.  "What?"  I ask again even louder;  "WHAT KIND OF TRUCK WAS IT?"

"Truck?  It wasn't a truck.  It was a big buck (spreading her arms far apart),  with antlers this big.  Jo Ann phoned me when she saw it out by the swing set.  Where did it go?"

I don't know where it went.  I went back upstairs to shower and dress.  It did remind me of the time we lived in the big house and my nephew Ryan, who was about 8 at the time, was playing downstairs.  His mother Joyce hears something, goes to the top of the stairs and yells;  "Ryan, watch your language!"  Ryan yells back;  "I said BUCK!"

 

11/11/11

"It is eleven days' journey from Horeb by the way of Mount Seir to Kadesh-barnea."  Deuteronomy 1:2

Horeb is also known as Mount Sinai and Kadesh-barnea is a place located just SW of Canaan, the land that God promised to give to the Jewish people.  Moses speaks to the people at Horeb and says;

"The Lord our God spoke to us at Horeb, saying 'You have stayed long enough at this mountain.  Turn and set your journey, and go . . . See, I have placed the land before you;  go in and possess the land which the Lord swore to give to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to them and their descendants after them.'"  Deuteronomy 1:6-8.

The Jewish people get to Kadesh-barnea but then are afraid to go further.  They come up with a plan to send 12 spies into the land.  Moses agrees to the plan and we know the rest.  Ten spies put more fear and doubt into the peoples hearts, and only Joshua and Caleb give encouragement.  Israel does not enter the promised land and now must wander 39 more years in the wilderness.  Because of their lack of faith God judges the people of Israel and no one (not even Moses) who was at Kadesh-barnea over the age of 20, except for Joshua and Caleb, are allowed to enter the land of God's promise.  On the eleventh day the people entered into unbelief and God judged them.

The number eleven is an interesting one in scripture.  11 is used 24 times, 11th 19 times, and 1100 twice.  The usual sense of the number in scripture is one of disorder, imperfection, judgement, and lack of faith.  Jacob had 12 sons who would become heads of the 12 tribes.  The brothers sold Joseph into slavery and for awhile there were only 11.  Jesus had 12 apostles but only 11 after Judas betrayed Him.  The apostles then choose a replacement to bring the total back to 12.  God gave Moses the 10 commandments.  If we were to add to what God has commanded we would then have an 11th.

To me the use of 1100 is even more interesting.  Both are found in the Book of Judges.

In chapter 16 we see that the five lords of the Philistines each give Delilah 1100 pieces of silver to betray Samson to them.  Samson is the mighty judge and deliverer of Israel, although quite a carnal man.  The Philistines were a major foe of Israel and lived along the coastal area of the Mediterranean Sea in a region we now call the Gaza strip.  Samson talks too much, reveals to Delilah that he has been dedicated as a Nazirite to God from his mother's womb. and that his strength is because of the length of his hair.  Delilah cuts Samson's hair, the Lord (the real source of Samson's strength) departs from Samson, and he is captured.

The next chapter relates the beginning of the history of idolatry associated with the tribe of Dan.

"Now there was a man of the hill country of Ephraim whose name was Micah.  He said to his mother, 'The eleven hundred pieces of silver which were taken from you, about which you uttered a curse in my hearing, behold, the silver is with me;  I took it.' "

Micah returns the 1100 pieces of silver to his mother and she dedicates the money to the Lord, but in a strange way.  She has Micah take 200 pieces to the local silversmith who makes them into a graven image and a molten image.  These become Micah's household idols.  Later on a man from the priestly tribe of Levi visits on a journey from Bethlehem in Judah and Micah hires him to live in his house and be his personal priest.

Around this same time the tribe of Dan, who were not able to secure their allotment of territory, were migrating through Ephraim, looking for land in which to settle.  They recognize Jonathan the Levite and ask him to inquire of God if they would be blessed if they settle at a certain area of land they were considering.  After Jonathan tells them what they want to hear they ask him to become the priest of their tribe and to take the household idols with him.  The tribe of Dan then settle in the area of Laish and do prosper for awhile.    However this results in two major problems.

The first is that this area becomes the main area of idol worship in the Jewish nation - "So they set up for themselves Micah's graven image which he had made, all the time that the house of God was at Shiloh."  Idol worship and unbelief are the main reasons the Jewish people undergo judgment from God again and again in scripture.  And this also leads to the tribe of Dan being omitted from the list of Jewish tribes found in Revelation chapter seven, 144,000  Jewish men from the 12 tribes who are sealed by God in the last days to perform a special service for Him. A tribe named after one of the sons of Joseph is substituted.

Does this mean anything for what might happen on 11/11/20011?  I don't know.  It might be one of those days where you check on events that happen in the world, i.e.  stock markets, Israel, earthquakes, storms, wars etc. and see if they may point to something else.  Unbelief?  Judgement?  Disorder?  If you put 1 and 1 together do you get 2, or do you get 11?

Do You Acutally Have To Die To Win The Darwin Award?

One of my clients for a road test today was 18 year old Phillip.  I get into his car and he informs me that he might have a problem with the steering wheel because 70% of his right hand and arm are severely burned and that he doesn't have any feeling in them.  "Do your best" I tell him and we go out for the drive.

"Did you need any skin grafts for your hand and arm?" I ask after a little while and Phillip tells me no, they are 2nd degree chemical burns and that the doctor says that he should start getting feeling in his nerves in a year or two.  "How did you get your burns?" I inquire, and thus began a most interesting conversation.

"My buddy and I were making smoke bombs out of black powder.  We put some powder into a jar and tossed it into the fire but after 4 minutes nothing happened, so I grabbed it out of the fire. There must have been a hole in the jar because the fire got to it and it exploded.  My hand and arm got burned and I had plastic shards stuck everywhere."

"Oh my!  It must have really hurt."  "Yeah, they gave me Vicodin.  They asked if I wanted morphine but I said no.  Then the doctor started working on me and I ripped the fabric off the arms of the chair."  "You didn't take the good stuff, huh?" I commented.  "No."

"Are you on any medications for it now?"  "No, not for that. I'm going to the doctor in 2 days to get some more meds for my neck and back."  "What happened?"  "Well, you know that curve on 68th street?  I was riding my moped and there was a pickup truck in front of me and both the front and the back brakes broke and I hit it broadside.  I flipped over 3 times and the handlebars of the moped folded in half."

Wanting to change the conversation to a lighter note I ask Phillip if he likes to hunt or fish.  He tells me he loves to hunt and has gone hunting in Colorado with his buddy twice.  "I bet that was fun" I say.  "Well, the last time I went my buddy shot me in the back of the head.  We spent the afternoon in the tent with him picking buckshot out of my skull."  I respond;  "Lucky he didn't have a slug in that shotgun."  "Yea, last year one of his friends shot him in his knee with a slug while deer hunting."

"You would think that after his experience your buddy would have been extra careful with a gun."   "Well, it was partially my fault.  I climbed up the tree."  (Don't ask, I didn't)

A minute later I ask Phillip if he has been in any other accidents.  "Yea, a few months ago my buddy and I were driving his car over to my garage to work on his brakes.  A car stopped in front of us, my buddy slammed on the brakes, but both brake cables broke and we rear ended it pretty good."  "Did you get injured?"  "I was leaning down looking at some CDs and I hit my forehead hard against the dash.  There was blood everywhere."  "Did you go to the hospital?"  "Nah, we went to my buddy's house and his dad gave me some stitches."  Seeing the puzzled look on my face Phillip adds;  "My buddy's dad is a doctor."

We get to 28th street near the end of the test and Phillip remarks that his church is nearby.  "What's the name of your church?"  "Good News Baptist Church."  "What's the good news at Good News Baptist Church?" I ask.  "What?"   "What do they tell you the good news is at your church?"   "Huh?"   "Good news, like Jesus died for your sins and you can be born again."  "I don't really know about that" says Phillip,  "I usually have to babysit my stepbrothers on Sunday.  They swear so much my Dad doesn't like to take them there."

We get back to the test site, I inform Phillip that he passed, and in his review I mention that for the most part his traffic checks were pretty good but sometimes he seems to lack focus. 

"Probably the Meds that I'm on.  They do that to me." 

Now he tells me.

Singing With Barney

For my gen ja generation, BARNEY evokes a slightly different image than for the current one.  Ours is not large and purple but thin and white.

Barney was the dot the i and cross the t deputy who was a counter point for the wise and caring Sheriff Andy Griffin.  Whereas the excitable Barney might want to incarcerate a jaywalker, Andy would find a way to make a positive life lesson for an escaped convict who somehow found himself in Mayberry.

A common point the mostly over 40 crowd heard during our training for Road Test Examiners was "Don't barney them", which to us meant that we were allowed to have a little grace when scoring those taking the automobile road test.  I shudder to think what that allusion might mean to a younger generation.  "Yes, you did stop on the freeway in front of a semi with air horns blaring,  I love you, you love me but we're not a hap py fam i ly',"

Yesterday I spent another day at Woods Edge Learning Center.  This time with 7 high school age students and me as one of 7 staff.  We began with a group activity.  The students have a lounge area in their classroom equipped with a large display screen hooked up to a special computer.  We began, as most classes I've been in here seem to, with looking at a calendar displayed on the screen to identify the current month and day, then switch to a site to check on today's weather.

After that we go to a program which has children books read by celebrities.  The reader would introduce themselves, then proceed with the story while the screen displayed the illustrations.  Our first treat was Betty White reading THE DIRTY DIRTY DOG, which must have been written when Betty was a child because, really, where do you find coal chutes into houses or coal mounds in rail road yards to play on today?

The next story, read by James Earl Jones, had rather abstract pictures describing the story of the black race from villages in Africa to slavery to Martin Luther King, using a theme of the sound of a drum.  Mostly silence from the uninterested kids.

Then the real treat began.  A BARNEY VIDEO!  I have never seen Barney except when flashing through channels on cable and now I'm watching it with high school aged kids.  The interesting thing with most autistic students is that you cannot really tell if they are actually watching anything displayed on the large screen.  But Barney brought out a chorus of sing along sounds.  Unintelligible but loud.

Tiffiny, whose usual MO is to talk or sing to herself all day, sometimes in a very high pitched baby girl voice, sometimes changing to a lower voice with a few words understandable such as "and a happy new year", was quite animated as well.  The others joined in with their "UMMS"  and "OOHS", and sitting behind them watching all of this I actually started chuckling to myself.  The combined sounds from the students were louder than the audio.  I'd think I'd be afraid to watch Barney by myself, but this was fun.

We Are More Than The Sum Of Our Parts

"Then the Lord formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being."  Genesis 2:7

Today was the fourth time I worked as a substitute teacher at Woods Edge Learning Center.  This beautiful new facility is a regional center that tries to help educate and/or care during the day for autistic kids from preschool to age 26.  There are usually about 1 teacher or paraprofessional for every 2 or 3 kids, depending on the abilities and behaviors of the kids.  So far I have helped out with an 18-26 year old group, a preschool group, a 5-8 year old group and today a middle school age group.

The preschool kids I worked with had normal language skills and looked like the general population except for an inability to focus and some behavior problems, but the children in all of the other groups were quite severely limited in their ability to talk, conduct normal social behavior, and  function without close supervision. 

My first time there, not being familiar with Woods Edge and not knowing what AI meant in the teacher job description (Art Instruction?), I arrived dressed in nice clothes.  I came the second time wearing jeans, just like all the other adults but with a nice sweater.  After spending a day picking play doh out of a girls nose, ears and hair (I wasn't fast enough for the mouth) and dodging dripping paint sticks (one kid liked to suck on the paint stick) and being repeatedly hugged or touched by these kids, I switched to a sweatshirt. 

I was glad I wore tennis shoes as well.  Today I took Anna on a mile walk through the hallways.  She would collect an icon at one end of the building, put it in her pocket, walk to the other end to collect and pocket another icon, until all the icons were exhausted, listening to music from earphones and humming the entire time.  When we went out to recess she would walk along the fenced in border until it was time to go inside.

Anna really didn't exhibit any negative behavior toward me, the other adults or children  (I noticed that there seems to be very little interaction between these kids).  However (and excuse me here) I'm pretty sure I heard her say several times in a low sing song voice after not being allowed to use the computer because it overstimulates her, "unk oou, unk oou, unk oou.

Chasing Anna down the hallways gave me a chance to pray for the kids and staff at Woods Edge.  I don't know what the cause for autism is, whether it is purely physical or if there is a spiritual component to it as well.  As Anna hummed to herself I prayed softly in tongues, asked help to be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit for me here and spoke to the Holy Spirit to fill the halls and classrooms of that place.

I thought as I walked today about how nice it would be if Jesus would one day come into that building, gather all those precious children around him, and speak with authority over any physical or spiritual conditions.   And thinking about what the staff would do if the building was emptied of it's current group of children I knew that sadly there would soon be others to work with.

None of these children are worth less because of their physical or emotional makeup.  Life is not just about the lucky combinations of genes.  When God breathed into that dust, man became a living being.  He brought the spiritual world into the physical world and man became a three part being;  body, soul and spirit.

The body, even of the greatest hero, eventually ages and decays, but the soul/spirit are eternal.   And so is the Father's love.

Arab Spring

One of the people on my schedule for a road test today was a woman named Safaa.  The car pulls up, parks, and out steps Safaa and another woman.  The other woman wore black, was about 4'6 tall and 3'6 wide and said with a big toothy grin and a very, very deep voice, "BOBB!"

"BOBB, HOW COME YOU NOT COME TO ME YET FOR A GOOD ARABIC LUNCH? "  My brain kicks in and I remember that a few months ago she brought a woman for a road test and told me afterwards that "I UNDERSTAND YOU LIKE ARABIC FOOD.  YOU MUST COME TO MY HOUSE FOR A WONDERFUL ARABIC  LUNCH!"

My first thought is, yes I do remember the invitation.  It was like the invitation from the Brazilian guy I gave a road test to who told me his family had a place on the beach at Rio and that I must go and stay there sometime.  When the invitation does not come with an address its just a nice way to say thanks.

My second thought, which I AGAIN verbalized to her, is that the State of Michigan does not allow me to accept such nice offers as going to someone's house, somewhere in Grand Rapids, during a lunch period I usually don't get to have a meal with such nice people as herself. 

For some reason, known only to God, the Arab people seem to love me and want to demonstrate their love by feeding me.  So if I conduct a test for one, and pass or fail, when they come back with a spouse, father or mother, brother or sister, aunt or uncle, in-laws of all kinds, and friends or someone they just met on the street, they may also bring me a plate filled high and wide with about 5 pounds of something I've never seen before.  I tell them that I cannot accept this but they ignore me, wink and say, "That's OK, take it."  So to be polite I accept the plate. 

Now if you know me you are aware that I am a very picky eater.  If I were to actually eat at her house I would try to do my best, but not being at someone's house I wait until they leave and then dump the gift into the nearest garbage can.  One time the food plate was presented after my last test of the day and because there were about 8 Arabic speaking people still milling around, smoking and laughing at the poor sod who just failed I drove the very strong smelling meal all the way home in mid winter with the window partially open, stopping at the garbage can prior to entering the house.

Anyway, back to today, the woman begins to bark out orders to Safaa in her very deep Arabic everything she must do, before I have a chance to tell her myself.  Safaa speaks English very well so she does not need the help, and I try to create some distance between the woman and Safaa. 

I look at Safaa who is now behind the wheel and immediately notice that she has this huge black mole on her left cheek.  I began to worry that this might throw me off a little.  It wouldn't look good to give the instruction for doing the parking portion by saying; "It will be a penalty every time your car crosses a yellow line or hits a mole, um, I mean pole."


Safaa passes the parking, the woman in black keeps barking out either orders or encouragement to her in Arabic until we have driven half way out of the parking lot, and because Safaa did not do so well on the driving portion of the test I will see her again sometime, because, "WE WANT YOU BOBB TO DO THE TEST."

The Blind Leading The Blind

Math was my worst subject area in high school.  I think I got a B- if that in 9th grade Algebra, but I can't remember, if I ever did know, any of the formulas for working out things like story problems.

10th grade Geometry with Mr. Swank was a disaster.  I never applied myself to learning theroms? and quorums? and any other ums, and 4 to 6 weeks in I was totally lost.  White haired 70 year old Mr. Swank had me go up to the board to work out a problem.  I stood there ridged, pointing my nice white piece of chalk at an empty space.

"What part of the problem don't you understand?" he asked me after several very uncomfortable minutes (I could count seconds).  "Well sir, I don't even know what I don't know here." I replied.  He had me sit down, never to visit the board again.  That was a one semester, very low grade class for me.

Many years later, this Wednesday night in fact, after checking my road test schedule for Thursday and finding an open day, I access the substitute teaching openings and find one available, in Special Ed Math!  -  Algebra, Pre-Algebra, Geometry.  So being a brave soul, I take it.

I kinda think this is God's sense of humor.  After 44 years I finally end up in the right math classes.  Kids would ask me a question and I would say, "How do you think this should be done" or "Looks pretty good to me."  There were warm up problems I was given to write on the board, and after watching a few of the brighter special ed students work out the answers on the board I would ask the class, "Does this look good to everyone?", and if they all agreed we would go onto the next problem.

I could relate to a conversation I overheard in the Pre-Algebra class today.  1st student:  "I'm illiterate."  2nd student:  "What?"  1st student repeats:  "I'm illiterate."  2nd student repeats:  "What?"  1st student:  "I don't know anything."

WHY ME?

The other day I did a road test for a young lady whose name was Jazzlynn.  Every time I would say something to her, or "ax" her a question, she would respond;  "You done say what?"

For example, noticing that she was 23 I was curious as to why she picked this particular day to get tested to finally qualify for her driver's license.  "So Jazzlynn, why are you taking your driver's test today?"  "You done say what?"  "Is there a particular reason you choose today for taking your test?"  "I needs to do my business!"

And thinking about it, her philosophy became a pretty good reason for me to start up this blog.  I too am often confused by what goes on around me but I NEEDS TO DO MY BUSINESS!

The idea of writing on Facebook makes me very uncomfortable. Several times a week I pull up Jackie's site to adore all the cute photos and see what is going on, and one day I thought that maybe if I had a blog I could post a link to it each time I had a new post.  If someone wanted to take the time to check it out they could.

So here it is.  Enjoy,

Bob