The Obelisks of Jeremiah

Anyone in the State of Michigan who has not had a current driver's license for 4 years or longer needs to take a road test before they will be issued another and so I test one or more people every week that have been incarcerated.  Last week a young man showed up who was released the day before after serving 5 years.  Tephan had a demeanor throughout the test that I would describe as  'I'm here but don't mess with me'.  He lightened up quite a bit after I informed him that he passed.  I have not done this before but after the test I asked him if he had a church that he went to and the answer was no.  "Tephan, God has a plan for your life.  What ever He wants will be better than what you could plan for yourself.  How are you going to find out what that is if you don't take the time to seek Him out?"    

 

God had and still has a plan for the Hebrew people and their nation, but with few exceptions the people always decided to follow designs of their own making. Many from each generation would follow after false gods and were not obedient to the instructions that God gave them through Moses and the prophets. And the nation never strove to possess anything close to the extent of land that God promised to Abraham and his descendants. The greatest extent came during the time of Solomon. After he died the nation split into a northern kingdom, called Israel, and a southern kingdom, called Judea. Eventually the northern kingdom was conquered and the people were deported. The prophet Jeremiah lived just prior to the conquering many years later of the southern kingdom of Judea by the Babylonians, and into the immediate time after. When the Babylonians destroyed Jerusalem and either killed or deported everyone considered high or middle class, they left the poor in the land to take possession of what was left. The Babylonian king appointed a puppet governor over the people and he let Jeremiah remain in Judea.

 

There remained in the land armed groups of Jewish rebels who hid out in the countryside. The leader of one of those groups killed the puppet governor, and then all of the commanders of the rebel forces as well as their followers came to Jeremiah, saying; "Please let our petition come before you, and pray for us to the Lord your God, that is for all this remnant; because we are left but a few out of many, as your own eyes now see us, that the Lord your God may tell us the way in which we should walk and the thing that we should do . . . May the Lord be a true and faithful witness against us, if we do not act in accordance to the whole message with which the Lord your God will send you to us . . . Whether it is pleasant or unpleasant, we will listen to the voice of the Lord our God to whom we are sending you, in order that it may go well with us when we listen to the voice of the Lord our God." (Jeremiah 42: 2-6)

 

 What a great speech they gave to Jeremiah, and through him to God. Over and over God had used Jeremiah to warn the Jewish inhabitants before the Babylonians conquered Jerusalem that the Babylonians were God's chosen instrument to punish them, but if they would surrender, the city of Jerusalem and their own lives would be spared. Instead, the ruling powers listened to the voice of the false prophets who advised alliances, and had Jeremiah beaten and imprisoned.Now the remnant were saying that they would listen to the word of the Lord as given by Jeremiah, and would do everything that the Lord told them. God honored that, and replied; "If you will indeed stay in this land, then I will build you up, and not tear you down, and will plant you and not uproot you, for I shall relent concerning the calamity that I have inflicted on you. Do not be afraid of the king of Babylon, whom you are now fearing; do not be afraid of him, declares the Lord, for I am with you to save you and deliver you from his hand. I will also show you compassion, so that he will have compassion on you and restore you to your own soil." (Jeremiah 42: 10-12)

 

But the true desire of the people was not to trust in the Lord. They had their own plan, and that was to escape to the safety of Egypt. The people replied to Jeremiah; "As for the message that you have spoken to us in the name of the Lord, we are not going to listen to you! but rather we will certainly carry out every word that proceeded from our mouths, by burning sacrifices to the queen of heaven and pouring out libations to her, just as we ourselves, our forefathers, our kings and our princes did in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem". (Jer. 44: 16-18) God told them that if they indeed fled to Egypt; "Behold, I am going to send and get Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon . . . He will also come and strike the land of Egypt; those who are meant for death will be given over to death, and those for captivity to captivity, and those for the sword for the sword . . . he will burn the temples of the gods of Egypt . . . He will also shatter the obelisks of Heliopolis, which is in the land of Egypt." (Jeremiah 43: 10-13)

 

The word "Heliopolis" means "house of the sun". The obelisks were coated with a combination of 1 part silver and 4 parts gold, and these mammoth 69'6" tall structures were aligned with the sun so that their effect would be truly inspiring. The Jewish remnant would leave the land, even after a promise by God that He would deliver them from both oppression and famine. They would flee to Egypt and adopt the Egyptian gods, and trust in them. But Nebuchadnezzar did come and built his headquarters at Heliopolis, the fate of those Jews was as God promised, and the obelisks were knocked down. 

 

A funny thing happened to three of those obelisks thousands of years later. One ended up in Paris, one ended up in London, and one ended up in New York City's Central Park. The silver and the gold had long since disappeared, but I believe those large stone needles are where they are today as a visible sign and reminder to the Jewish population living those countries.

 

There are 13.3 million Jewish people living in the world today. The Jewish population of Israel, which in 1948 became a country again after almost 2 thousand years, is 4.9 million. In the United States and Canada there are about 7 million Jews, 1.8 million of them living in New York City. The country with the next largest Jewish population is France, with over 600,000, and then comes the UK with 275.000. 

 

 There is a time coming, and I believe it is sooner rather than later, that God will be clearly calling His chosen people to go back to the land of Israel. Unfortunately many will be reluctant to leave what they see as the comforts and safety of their own countries. Those obelisks are a sign that they should not trust in the governments of France, Britain, or even the United States to care for and protect them. And they are certainly not to follow after false gods, even if signs in the heavens lead the rest to the world to clamor after the queen of heaven. Just as it has always been, they are called to trust only in the Lord their God, who will protect them in the midst of the fiery furnace that is to come.

My Conversation With Jesus

As the Ogre once famously said, "I like teenagers - - - for breakfast, lunch AND dinner."

Sometimes teens are a little breath of heaven, like my client Jesus (hey sus) today.  When told that he failed the test because (A) he ran a red light and (B) by the time he ran the red light he had already accumulated mega points because of (C) one handed driving the entire route, sometimes with zero hands on the wheel to let the steering wheel recover, and (D) rolling stops, going beyond the stop lines and riding on the lane lines, he begins to argue with me.

"I was going 45 and didn't feel it was safe to stop at the intersection."  I tell Jesus that the light was yellow for several seconds before we were near the intersection, that it turned red 25 yards before we got there and that there were not any vehicles behind us.  "Well in my opinion it wasn't safe to stop" says Jesus to which I respond,  "In my opinion you made a very bad decision, one that could lead to a serious collision."

Switching gears Jesus tells me that he is very upset because he paid over $300 for driver's training and that the entire time he was driving with an instructor he drove with one hand and no one told him that it was wrong.  "And now I have to pay another $35 to retest because they didn't teach me right!"  I remind Jesus that he did go through a red light and that I pointed out the one handed driving, the rolling stops and the line line violations so that he would have a better chance to pass the next time. 

"Plus, I have a hard time believing that your instructor let you drive one handed because it is very rare for anyone to drive one handed on their test, especially if they have taken driver training."  Finally I need to exit the vehicle because Jesus refuses to listen to my review and accept responsibility for his actions.  Jesus then heads to our office to reschedule and yells at the secretary that he was failed for driving through a yellow light.

But on a less heavenly note I do sometimes have fun with the earnest and unsuspecting teen drivers that pass my way.  Austin was a good looking and well built young African Amarican man who recently transferred from South Christian to Catholic Central.  By doing so he was going to lose his eligibility to play sports this spring at CC but was in line to play football there next fall.  In the Grand Rapids area the kids and parents at South Christian feel that they are the poor sister to Grand Rapids Christian as do the kids and parents at West Catholic vis a vis Catholic Central.  Austin wanted to upgrade his chances to play on a top football team but made an unusual switch, from a conservative Protestant environment to a Catholic environment.

"Did you take choir at South?" I ask, "because things will be a lot different at Central.  I grew up in the Catholic Church and one thing I can tell you, from every Catholic church I've ever attended.  Catholics can't sing  (OK, not universally true).  I love to sing and was a perfect Catholic because I can't carry a tune.  Now that I'm in a Charasmatic/Pentecostal church I can sing to my hearts content.  People clear out from around me but the worship singing is great.  However at the place we go now there is someone who usually sits behind us who looks like a homeless man and he loves to clap.  Problem is that he claps very loud and cannot clap on beat.  He doesn't always clap, just when he gets excited, which covers about a third of a song."

All this time Austin's dad, who doesn't believe that he is permitted to speak, is holding his sides in the back seat.  He tells me after the test that it's the same way when you are dancing and next to someone who can't dance.  It throws everyone off.

As the test nears its end Austin asks me what documents he needs to bring to the DMV.  I give him the list and throw in that after he takes his documents into the State office and get his shots that they will issue him his license.  "They have something called an elephant needle there.  It's about this long (I put my hands about 18" apart).  Funny thing, it doesn't bother those little petite woman one bit.  It's always the big strong guys that faint."  Austin looks like he is trying to look not concerned.  His dad is now on the floor.

So there you have it.  Some teenagers won't believe anything you say and some will believe everything.  Wish I had that elephant needle for Jesus.       

We Have Overcome

"We will overcome, by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony"  Jeremy Camp - OVERCOME

Two years ago Shalayce moved to a small town near Grand Rapids with her mother and two younger sisters.  It had not been the best of circumstances for them.  Shalayce's father was addicted to drugs and had started beating her mother, slamming her into a wall one time.  Eventually the mom, a Christian, decided it would be best to create some space between them and leave their little town, situated next to the Porcupine Mountains in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, about two hours from Marquette.  Soon after the father moved in with a drug using woman and informed the mother that she should be glad that he finally was happy.

Once situated the family started going to a little Baptist church and the girls were enrolled in school, something the father had not allowed.  The two younger sisters could not read or write but their school provided special workers to help them along.  Shalayce who was 16 tested out at the 6th grade level but was determined as well to work hard to catch up.

Their little Baptist church was going through some struggles and the mom decided to try another small Baptist church.  A missionary whose call was to the Eskimos in Alaska was talking at their first service there.  He ran a summer camp and Shalayce signed up to help.  That summer two wonderful things happened.  First, she was able to work through her feelings about her father so that she could truly forgive him.  And second, she fell in love with Alaska and the Eskimo people.

One time a young Eskimo girl shared with Shalayce part of a lunch that her mother had sent along - whale blubber and blueberries!  It was very sweet but still hard for Shalayce to enjoy because of the slimy texture.

I met Shalayce today when she came to take her driver's road test.  She was 18 and a junior in High School and very excited to leave the day after school gets out for another summer working at that camp in Alaska.  She had a very interesting plan for her life.  After graduation she would be going to the University of Alaska for study to become a Nurse Practitioner so she could do medical work with the Eskimos.  Because they are very suspicious of Western medicine she also wanted to be trained in massage therapy, something the Eskimos accepted.  She was also going to take a years study at another college in Alaska to learn some about  traditional native medicine.  I did tell her that with her being a Baptist it would be difficult for to believe me but it seemed that the only thing she was missing was the Baptism in the Holy Spirit.  Then she would have all her healing bases covered.  Perhaps I planted a seed.

The wonderful thing about this story is that God could take an awful situation and turn it around so that many people will be blessed by the Father's love.  Shalayce knows that He put her in that church at that time for her benefit and the benefit of others.

Sometimes we get discouraged by the ever increasing decay in society.  Darkness increases and calls itself light, and the world which is use to so many shades of grey does not object.  But we will proclaim that there is a light that pierces the darkness and that Jesus is that light.  

Write Your Pastor

Note:  My old world name in Dutch was BoBo which became shortened when my parents Americanized it.

Sometimes things provoke my brain to go off on tangents, which I may or may not verbalize.  A guy comes for a road test and I notice that his name is Donald Drake.  If your last name was Drake would you name your son Donald?  I was going to make a wise quack asking him where his blue sailor shirt, bow tie and nifty hat were, but kept quiet.  Same thing with a Miss Shirley Darling.  I really wanted to approach the car, and using my best Thurston Howell from Gilligan's Island voice say, "How are you doing today, Shirley Dal ling?"  Again I behaved.

However I slipped a little bit today with two of my customers.  Samantha would respond to everything I told her with "OK".  Eventually we got to the part in the driving test where I ask the three required questions.  I rephrased the 3rd question by asking, "If you hit something with your car do you want to hit it head on or side swipe it?".  Samantha responds "Yes".  I repeat the question and she answers even more firmly "Yes!".  This causes her mother, sitting in the back seat, to chuckle.  I look back at the mom and remark, "I only get them for 45 minutes, you have them all day."  Again the mom laughs.

Emboldened now I tell Samantha that I am going to reprogram her brain and the next time I give her directions the proper response is not OK but rather (and I use my Haley Mills from Pollyanna bad attempt at a British accent voice) "That is perfectly acceptable Sir."  A minute later I tell Samantha to turn right at the next intersection.  She doesn't say anything so I present my open hand to her and she actually does say, but without the accent, "That is perfectly acceptable Sir."  You can imagine how happy that made me.

Our next objective was getting onto the freeway.  I informed Samantha what to look for and when we got close she asked me, "Should I get on here?" to which I respond "That is perfectly acceptable Miss".  "Oh no!" I gasp, "You've now managed to reprogram me as well."  I didn't overdo this thread.  Even when on a tangent you need to know how to edit.

My second customer was a guy in his late 30's who moved to Michigan from Georgia fairly recently.   Somehow drinking and driving came up and Justin mentioned that he loves the Lord and doesn't drink.  I ask him where he goes to church and it turns out that it's the same place that one of my daughters goes to.  I didn't ask if he knew her because KCC has about 2500 members.  Justin did tell me that he is engaged to the secretary for the head pastor, which prompted this unsolicited commentary:

"You know Justin, she is probably the one who first sees those letters offering helpful advice to the pastor.  A large church like yours must get a dozen a week.  You should write some along the following line and see how long it takes for her to realize that they are not real.

Dear Pastor, I really like this church and have been coming for the last 3 weeks.  How come you have not found me to introduce yourself and shake my hand.  Signed, Bobo.

Dear Pastor, We need more organ music.  Guitars are nice but we need more organ music.  Signed, Bobo.

Dear Pastor, I've decided that pastors should not dress casual,  EVER!  Signed, Bobo.

(At this point I actually get a little smile from Justin, whom I'm not sure before now was realizing that I was not being totally serious).

Dear Pastor, It has now been seven weeks and you've yet to mention Hell.  Signed, Escaped from the flames, Bobo.

Dear Pastor, I have some great ideas to improve your preaching.  Let's do lunch.  Signed, Your faithful servant, Bobo."

Here again I end the thread, perhaps going too long this time.  Oh well.     

That's Where You Find Them Monsta Flatheads

While in 10th grade I did a vocational test that the school administered to all who passed through those hallowed halls.  OK, Holland High actually had what they called Mods and Pods with classrooms built around large open areas, but we got tested just the same.  It was one of those tests that ask hundreds of times for you to choose between three or four different and usually unappealing options.  I never know how to answer those type of questions.  Just ask my daughter Missy who use to love to bring home the five colors of this or the seven shades of that.  I must not be honest with myself because I usually say something like, "Oh, I guess I like choice 4" and Jackie will pipe in, "No, you're definitely a seven" and Missy will side with her mom, "Dad, you're a seven."

Anyway, turns out in High School that the test told me I should avoid outdoor work with attached advice such as "Whatever you think, DO NOT become a  forest ranger."  Oddly my children tease me that I'm the type of person who will put on a snowmobile suit before heading out to the mail box.  I only did that once!

I love Fall in Michigan but when the leaves start changing I do not start cleaning my shotgun, turn on Michigan Outdoors and run with my trusty dog to get us both in shape.  When I chance upon an unspoiled river I may skip a few stones but never wonder what else is below the surface.  I love a great campfire with friends followed by a cozy night in my own bed.  I AM an out doors man!  Just not my first choice.

Yesterday was sunny with temps in the low 60's.  What a beautiful early March day!  A guy about 40 years old named Selvy stopped by for his test and remarked while we we were driving that he couldn't wait to start fishing again.  I asked him where he liked to fish and he told me that he fished along the banks of the Grand River, usually near Bridge Street and Monroe.

 "When it floods in the Spring the water overflows the bank and I have me a special place by some trees.  That's where you find them monsta flatheads.  Last year I gots me a 35 pounder.  Took me 40 minutes to reel him in.  Now I use me a 17 pound line but everybody tells me that I should use the 20 pound. My friend says - 'Yank him in!' -  but I likes to feel the fish and play with him and let him wear himself out.  There was a big crowd watching from the bridge and as I was working the fish they all came over to see how I was doing and to encourage me.  It's always a great time fishing.  Man, sometimes we stay there till 2 in the morning.  You should come sometime."

Selvy made fishing at the Grand sound like so much fun that I almost headed over to the nearby MC Sports to check out some gear.  Almost.

All I Wants To Do Is Play Basketball

When I filled in for daughter Missy last year to teach the last 8 1/2 weeks of her school year one of my students was a young man whose name is Darrell - pronounced Da Rell.  I had Darrell for Economics, World History and Western Expansion.  Darrell would either dress in Bloomingdale sweats or those large low hanging jeans that showed off his nice plaid undershorts and which needed to be manually raised every time he stood up to sharpen his pencil, which was about 10 times a class.  One time I remarked to Darrell that we had a real cool invention when I was his age.  "We called them suspenders.  Saves a lot of work."  Perhaps matching plaid would be nice.

Darrell would normally arrive a little late for each class, put his head on his desk as long as he could, unless something woke him and his pencil needed sharpening, and then asked me if he could leave a little early to do something like talk to his coach.  I unexpectedly woke him one time in Western Expansion when I put in a Ken Burns DVD number 5 and the alert students informed me that they had already viewed number 5.  "What are we going to do now Mr. LaBarge" they asked.  "Well, this is what Mrs. Lam had scheduled for today, let me think about it for a minute."  Apparently Darrell was not actually sleeping because he picks his head off the desk and says loudly, "Man, we got nothing to do today!"

About four weeks before school was to let out for the summer a number of students became aware that they actually needed to hand in assignments and raise their grades to a level that would allow them to graduate, not repeat classes or avoid attending remedial summer school.  This prompted Darrell to ask me what he needed to do to raise his grades in my classes above the fail level.  I showed him on the computer all the missing assignments and said that if he did the work and scored well enough that he could easily pass each class.  I would give him a few at a time and if he completed those he would get some more.  Looking ruefully Darrell told me "All I wants to do is play basketball".  Well, for 99.9 per cent something it doesn't really work that way.  Darrell was actually quite bright, turned in an amazing amount of work in a short time and passed all his classes.

I thought of Darrell when I did a road test today for Jarvyn.  He was from Grand Rapids, did basketball at East Kentwood and then Union High School, played point guard for a very good AAU team and went to college at Mississippi for basketball.  His dad had played basketball at Purdue.  Jarvyn told me he was back in Grand Rapids because of family reasons and was going to transfer to play basketball at Western Michigan.

"Isn't it like 110 degrees everyday in Mississippi?" I asked.  "You get use to it.  I use to leave my dorm every night at about 7 and play basketball until 3 in the morning."

 "Are you already accepted at Western?"  "I will be as soon as I pass my ACT." 

"You got into Mississippi without an ACT score?"  "Didn't need it.  They had me do a special entrance test."

 "So you didn't do an ACT?"  "I did.  But it was held in an auditorium and I got really bored so I spent the whole time just doodling.  I'm going to do it again because my dad says I should at least be able to get a 25."

Which reminds me.  All I really wants to do is eat about 25 Hostess Cupcakes and blog.