Bipple

Audrey drove up in an old Pontiac Grand Am.  She is blond, 22 years old and was wearing large plastic wraparound sun glasses.  When I ask her how she is doing today she responds; "Just ducky."  Based on her salty language during the rest of the test it's a good guess that hers were not fresh water ducks.

"This is not my car" she assures me.  "I normally drive a big truck."  Then Audrey says;  "I suppose I can't smoke while doing the test, can I?"  "Not a good idea" was my answer.

We go out on the driving portion of the test and Audrey tells me that this has not been a good month.  Her truck got rear ended (her terminology for that was much more colorful and graphic than I can relay here) and she is staying with her mother because the house she and her husband were living in burned down.  His computer shorted out starting their Lazy Boy on fire which then spread to the rest of their dwelling.

Audrey keeps saying; "Oh, excuse my language" during our time together.  For example I tell her about the lady I saw driving who had a cup of coffee in her left hand, a smoke wedged between the fingers of the same hand which was also steering the vehicle using her palm while she was texting using her right hand.  "No S...t!" exclaims Audrey.  "I would never do that!"

When I ask Audrey if she has any children she tells me that she has a fourteen month old boy.  "I was reading the book which describes what children do at each stage of growing and saw that at 14 months Alex should be able to start identifying body parts.  So I point to my nose and eyes and ears and lips, but Alex cannot name them.  Well, you know that I sleep in the nude so the next morning Alex comes into my bedroom.  I point to my boob and Alex doesn't say anything but then he points to the end of my boob and exclaims 'Bipple!'  When I tell him 'that's right' he starts beating his chest like a gorilla."  Audrey laughs.  "My son can identify one body part, bipple."

I thought that was pretty funny although I wondered just what in his environment led Alex to know that bit of information.  When I get home I tell Jackie the story.  She doesn't laugh.  "She told you she sleeps in the nude?"