It is probable that you, my dear readers, are like the average American and know very little about subjects such as current events outside our country, history, geography and the eschtatological beliefs of other religions. I on the other hand was not allowed as a child to sit around the family dinner table until mastering at least a working knowledge of these as well as the ability to debate my parents and siblings in an intelligent manner with retorts sometimes sprinkled with a touch of sarcasm. Hunger is a cruel but surprisingly effective teacher.
After getting married I thought that dinner conversation with my wife and kids would follow the same path. That idea was soon squashed when I realized that Jackie had this thing about not wanting the kids to starve. We could talk sports. We could talk local current events. I could tell jokes and make puns and was even tolerated when I made the family join me doing imitations of major appliances. But if I started in on politics or history or heaven forbid geography Jackie would squirm and get up and start to work on the dishes and I wasn't finished eating and again found out that hunger is a cruel but surprisingly effective teacher.
Years later I've discovered an outlet to discuss my interests with some of the people that come through for driver's tests. A case in point would be a guy this week from Iran whose name was Mahdi.
The Mahdi is a character in Islamic tradition who will arise at the end of days to usher in world domination by the religion of peace. He is a direct descendant of Mohammad and is the 12th of 12 Immans who will guide the nations with his divine wisdom. This guy actually lived in the ninth century but then disappeared and is thought to be hiding in a well util the time is right for him to reappear with his buddy Jesus. Together they will arrive in a time of world crisis and bring about universal peace through Islam.
People believing in the 12th Imman are called Twelvers and you might be surprised to learn the nation of Iran is run by the Shia brand of mullahs who are all Twelvers. They are very excited because among the prophesied signs of the Mahdi's coming is what is currently happening in Iraq and Syria and Yemen. Iran is frantically developing nuclear weapons with the firm intent of using them to destroy the little Satan (Israel) and destroy or at least humiliate the big Satan (the US and her Western allies). This will bring in the chaos that will allow the Mahdi to appear.
The Mahdi is described as a young man, good looking, with long black hair and a long black beard.
My guy pulls up to the test side driving a BMW 530si. He is 32, good looking with a wild crop of long black hair on the top of his head. He is without beard but does have a tuft of hair under his lower lip. He tells me that he doesn't speak English too good so can he use a translator. I counter that is seems we will be OK without one and during the parking lot portion of the test I make sure to explain everything very slowly and carefully. Mahdi appears to understand, does well but it is clear that conversation will be a little difficult.
We go out driving and I only give directions and do not engage in any small talk but of course I am dying to talk about his being the Mahdi. We arrive just as a left hand turning arrow goes red and I know that I have a minute or two so I turn to him and say; "You are Mahdi. From Iran. You have been hiding in a well since the 9th century." Mahdi looks at me and says "What?" So I show him his name on the test sheet and repeat; "You are Mahdi. From Iran. You have been hiding in a well since the 9th century."
Mahdi smiles at me and replies; "I am very happy!"
The light changes and we talk no more until the test is finished. I fill out his test certificate, have him sign it and then test over ask why he came to Michigan from Iran. "I come here 5 years ago. Change my name to Derek. Always like that name. Am film maker. Don't need to make too much money, only help people." Sounds like a pretty good cover story to me.
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