Today I was blessed to do a driving test for a guy named Eddie Wilson V. He took the test 12 years ago when he was 16 and failed so he finally screwed up his courage and decided to try again. When I came up to him I told him; "Eddie, you're my 1st 5th. Tell me a little about the original Eddie Wilson. When did he live and what did he do?"
Eddie knew absolutely nothing about the other Eddies. Not Eddie Sr., not Eddie Jr. Not Eddie the III. I asked him; "Weren't you even a little curious about your other ancestors with the same name?" and he responds; "I guess not. I never even asked my dad about them. But one thing for sure. The name stops with me. I got teased at school. They all called me Eddie Murphy and so I named my son Jamal. Jamal Junior I call him.
Eddie named his son Jamal Jr. That was my first clue.
I asked Eddie what he did for work and he tells me that he is a pro grower. "What the heck is a pro grower?" I ask. It turns out that "pro grower" is another name for people who grow marijuana for medicinal purposes. All of a sudden my ears perk up and I start asking about how all of this works.
Just across the parking lot from where we start our tests is a gas station that has several shops connected to it. There is a Subway, an ice cream stand that in season has according to Jackie the worlds best chili dogs, a head shop called Purple Haze which I think sells medical marijuana over the counter and who knows what under the counter, and then just around the corner from the head shop is a doctor's office that specializes in only one thing. A guy stops in every now and then to write prescriptions for medical marijuana.
Since the wacky weed is now legal to sell in Michigan for medical purposes growing the stuff has become an opportunity for eager entrepreneurs like our Mr. Eddie (Jamal) Wilson V. There was a time before it became legal when growing the stuff was fairly easy and inexpensive as long as one didn't get caught. I have a sister-in-law who once found her attic filled with healthy green plants that had been carefully tended by her two boys.
But now that the State of Michigan is involved it is possible but costly to produce a healthy crop. Michigan has a lot of regulations (or regulatories as Eddie phrased it) about the process of growing that weed. You need to keep records, The state has random but surprise inspections and the state will take 15% of any profits made. The required license cost $350 every two years. If you live in the inner city like Eddie the plants need to be grown indoors in a special room that is locked, as Eddie put it, to keep children and other interested parties away. So Eddie needed to build a special room in his basement.
A pro grower is allowed to have up to 5 "patients" and may grow up to 12 plants per patient. Eddie has 1 patient and when I asked him why only 1 he told me that he wants to get everything producing right before he adds more.
One can order the seeds from a catalog but because the plants are indoors there needs to be special high powered sodium lights, humidity controls, and two other types of growing lights just to produce a healthy plant. Eddie had some problems on his first 3 batches and now half way on his 4th he thinks he has the process down.
All this has been a little expensive for Eddie. His girl friend "gave" him her tax refund check for $3700 to get started and they bought all the stuff and made the special room and found a patient. Then after the first 3 crops did not pan out as well as expected and they added the other two lights they received a monthly electric bill for $600.
After getting the bill Eddie calls his lone patient and asks him if he needs to up his consumption but apparently the guy wasn't feeling too much pain at that moment and he declined. Frantic at this point they called their utility company who thoughtfully suggested that they get on a budget payment plan that will average out the rest of the year's bills with the $600 dollar month. Eddie proudly tells me that now his utility bills are only $200 a month!
I guess the silver lining in all of this for Eddie is that it will be some time before he has to cough up his 15% tax on profits to the State of Michigan and if his head starts to hurt after a few more months of cheap utility bills catch up with him he knows where to go to alleviate the pain.
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