Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Can I hear an AMEN!

Recently I did a road test for a kid whose father was a pastor at a local Christian Reformed church, a denomination that is very strong in our West Michigan area. A parent rides along if the applicant is under 18 so we had a nice little chat whereby I discover his profession. Finally he asks me where I go to church (you have to have lived here for awhile to understand my humor in hearing that) so I laugh and tell him the following story.

After 20 years a man who was shipwrecked and had lived by himself on a tiny island was picked up by a cruise ship. As the rescue vessel was leaving the island the first mate notices three buildings and wants to know what purpose they serve. “Well, the first hut is where I live and the second is where I go to church.” “What about the third building?” asks the mate. “That's where I use to go to church.”

I'll admit that I'm no stranger to church hopping. After we left the Catholic Church we started going to a swell little congregation of Assembly of God believers that met in a school gym. Things were going really good until about a year in I invited the pastor and his wife over to our house to watch a DVD movie. I told them I would rent GHANDI which the pastor was excited to see but when I was at Blockbuster I noticed a flick about that little rubbery figure Gumby so I rented that as well. The pastor and his wife settle in, I turn on the TV and video player and on starts the adventures of Gumby. “What's this?” I'm asked, a seriously shocked look on the pastor's face. “Gumby” I reply. I thought I told you.”

Well, he almost smiled and I quickly pop in the proper movie but I think after that he was watching me a lot closer. We worshiped at his church about a year longer before parting ways.

After that we had home church for 7 years (which I believe was a tremendous thing for our family), tried some other congregations on and off and finally settled in at Holland Community Church, a little non denominational, non charismatic group whose pastor use to work for the technology division of a Big 7 accounting firm that our company had used. I had met him in that capacity before he went into ministry. This was a guy who I didn't even have to ask if he was pro Gumby. He thought he was a great Euchre player and we had some really fun tournaments at the church. He was not a humble winner. I mean really. I always finished top 3 as well but you don't do a victory dance in front of a 83 year old woman who we had to keep explaining what a bauer was.

He eventually left the church to attend Regent University to get a law degree. The church disbanded after that. Several weeks later we ran into some people we knew from Holland Community and asked them where they were going. They told us about such and such a place. We sat next to them that Sunday and before the service starts the guy leans over and says; “These are really nice people put they don't believe in instrumental music so the worship is a little subdued.” A little???? My snoring has more enthusiasm.

We went to a Charismatic mega church in Grand Rapids for seven years and then started going to a Vineyard church in Holland after one of my son-in-laws became an associate pastor there. When we moved to Kalamazoo we soon found a great Charismatic non-denominational church but after you get into your 60's the loud music becomes physically painful. Jackie and I tried using ear plugs but after a year we switched to a church across the street where the volume is much better. The preaching has been great, the worship is usually anointed and the pastor seems like the kind of young man that would do victory laps around an 83 year old woman. Problem – it's an Assembly of God church so I guess it would be best to have no home movie nights with the pastor and his wife.

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