Forty Wonderful Years

On June 3, 1972, Jackie and I said YES YES YES and off we went on our grand adventure.  I suppose it's fitting that on our way out to Ba Ha Ba (Bar Harbor, Maine)  we stopped at an establishment known as Perry's Nut House.  For five hundred miles we had noticed the signs and it was just a little bit out of our main route, so we took the chance.

Now if this was, say, a museum that honored the War of 1812 Admiral Perry whose courage and daring was key to throwing off the last vestige of British rule on the continent, thus the phrase "That Perry sure had some big ones", it might have been worth (at least for me) the three hour delay.  As it turned out Perry's main feature was a stuffed giraffe (body on one floor, neck and head through an opening on top).  This, I found out in the trial and error which is marriage, was not something that appealed to my sweet bride.

I learned a few other interesting things on that initial trip as well.  Thinking that it would be great to be able just to drive and have an on board navigator it was surprising when we were approaching Buffalo and just as we were passing exit 41A that lead to the bypass Jackie says "Turn here.  TURN HERE!  You should have turned there!"  Lesson number one for me;  Don't assume, learn to communicate.

Lesson number two was about the need to stop for breakfast.  One of us, aka "the Grinch that stole Christmas" was not use to eating breakfast.  The other evidently considered it a sacred ritual that might under special circumstances be delayed for maybe an hour, but always must be honored.  I was stubborn one morning when nothing looked appealing to me right away and drove until lunch.  What did I learn?  Toast and juice are a lot more appealing than silence and steam from the one who means everything to me.  (And I find out many years later that her body actually has to have at least a little nutrition several times a day.)

Now we have been married forty years.  Forty years - Anytime someone would ask me how long I have been married I would always preface the number of years with the word "wonderful."   And it's still true, we have now been married forty wonderful years.

You see a lot and go through a lot together in that amount of time.  I have been blessed that a woman who was a believer did not do the smartest thing and fell in love with and then married a non believer.  I have been blessed that the Lord of the Universe gave me parents that loved me, an interesting and fun family to grow up with, a great extended family, and a woman who has stood with me through every challenge.

He reached through the darkness of my soul and revealed Himself to me and has been my source of strength for over thirty nine years.  He has blessed Jackie and me with children who have also come to know my incredible Lord, and given them believing spouses, and He has blessed us with many wonderful grandchildren.  May the Holy Spirit move in their lives so that each may come to know The Father through Jesus.

Last night for our anniversary Jackie and I went out to dinner and then to the IMAX to see MEN IN BLACK III in 3D.  In the movie agent J goes back in time to the year 1969 and pairs up with young agent K to save the world once again (or twice again?)  They end up at a SoHo party hosted by Andy Warhol who is actually an undercover MIB agent and who is going crazy doing what he does.  "I paint a picture of a tomato soup can and everyone thinks I'm a genius."  My favorite line from the movie is after he begs agent K to get him a transfer he calls out to J and K as they are leaving;  "I can't tell the boys from the girls anymore!"

Ah, transgender dressing, one of the relics from 1969.  My mother use to say; "As long as they can tell the difference, who cares?"  In 1969 I was in college and it seemed to me the whole world was changing.  Music was different.  Drugs became easy to find.  The Viet Nam war is in full gear.  Aquinas would go through a self study and make A through F grades optional.  Students were shot by the National Guard at Kent State and revolution was in the air and appeared to be more than just cultural.  Fads come and go but the decrease in moral certitude not only remains but builds upon itself, year by year.

On the positive side, The Catholic Church in America was beginning to experience a fresh move of the Holy Spirit.  A by product of that was a woman took a bus trip to South Bend, found a book on the Catholic Charismatic renewal on a vacant bus seat, gave it to her brother-in-law who then went to prayer meetings at an Abbey in Three Rivers, got excited and prayed the name Jesus through the night for two straight nights and was given the gift of tongues during the third, who prayed with his kids to receive the Holy Spirit baptism, one of which was dating a guy named Bob who thought it was nice for the daughter but let's not talk religion, who married that crazy gal who prayed for that crazy guy who later surrendered to the move of the Holy Spirit and is thrilled that he did.

Since it's almost impossible for the Holy Spirit to move in fresh ways when someone or an organization wants to control Him the revival in the Catholic Church eventually faded, but the fruit produced also builds upon itself, year by year.

In marriage you learn to humble yourself to best serve and get along with your mate.  The life we live together must be based on trust.  Love is a commitment that transcends feelings.  Communication has to always be open. We need to spend time together.  Even after 40 years I find that I sometimes fall short on all counts.

The above is also true of our relationship with the Lord.  All is based on trust which increases as we humble ourselves and pray.

Jackie and I have had forty wonderful years together.  May the Lord  bless your lives and marriages as well.