The concept for a revolutionary new workout came to me early one morning after my usual breakfast of a large glass of orange juice, honey nut cheerios and chocolate doughnuts. I saw an ad on TV demonstrated by a 30'ish guy and gal wearing tight stretchy shorts and showing off sculptured six-packs and abs in which they were going crazy doing one difficult and complicated exercise after another. I looked at the screen, looked down at my belly and thought, oh well, not going to happen.
But then it occurred to me that change was possible. In a moment of brilliant clarity I realized that the trick to making a workout or diet successful is to find something that one can realistically do, over time, without giving up and returning to the old lifestyle.
This can be done with my easy to remember and simple to execute Three Thirty Three Workout.
Three times a day, three times a week you engage in a thirty second workout.
I have designed 33 maximum effort 30 second workouts that will push you to your aerobic limits and will melt off comfortable but ugly fat by the pounds. Combined with slight dietary changes you should expect to eventually lose 33% of that excess fat (unless you get hit by a car or something).
There are no DVD's required. No fancy equipment. No books or pamphlets or charts or trips to a so called health club with their questionable hygienics, high pressure salespeople and the guy in the corner who eyeballs all the ladies. The Three Thirty Three Workout can easily fit into anybody's busy schedule.
Special clothing is not required (although I will offer a spiffy Three Thirty Three Workout shirt and bandana to be worn in public so the world can find out about it and get healthy). You can fit in the exercises at home or at work and not have to worry about nasty sweat ruining your appearance. Heck, after a few months you will begin to sport that healthy glow that says - LOOK AT ME. I CAN DO ANYTHING!.
Here are several of the thirty second exercises I have designed. Some may take a few weeks for you to be able to last the entire thirty seconds, but that's OK! Eventually you will get there and get good doing them. You are free to mix and match the exercises any way you want. One day or one week you might want to do the same one all three times. Perhaps like me you get easily bored and so will not have any two days be the same. No matter what way you choose in time you will become master of your body and master of the Three Thirty Three Workout.
Running In Place - Find a place with a sturdy floor, clear of any close obstacles and run in place as fast as you can. This may take a few weeks to work up to the full 30 seconds.
Praying Hands - Place your fingertips and palms together, elbows up, and push together as hard as you can. Prayers done while doing this get sent up extra fast.
Double Fist Pump - Make two fists, elbows up, imagine someone or something that really irks you, and shake your fists as rapidly as possible. You may be tempted to instantly repeat this one so discipline is required.
Belly Pound - This is one of my favorites. Make two fists and then pound your fat belly like a drum with the finger side of your fists. Move the abuse around for maximum benefit and less bruising.
As you can see, if done properly a full range of muscle groups can be engaged. You will begin looking good, feeling good and maybe even start acting good. Not bad for only thirty seconds a day, three times a day, three days a week.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Heaven Or Hell
The other night I had just finished shoveling the driveway. It was about 12 degrees and as I looked up, sharp cold against my face, I could see that the sky was mostly clear except for puffs of white clouds streaming rapidly above me from West to East. The whole experience was incredibly beautiful.
"Are there cold shimmering nights in Heaven where one stands in awe of what God has created?" I wondered. "Does the Eskimo think of Heaven being like this? Can man even comprehend the tenth of what awaits us?"
I have been reading the gospel of Matthew this month and in it Jesus tells a bunch of parables about the kingdom of Heaven. The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in the field . . . The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field . . . The kingdom of heaven is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three pecks of flour until is was all leavened . . . The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field . . . The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls . . . The kingdom of heaven is like a dragnet cast into the sea . . . The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard . . . The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son.
It says in Matthew 13: 34-35 All these things Jesus spoke to the crowds in parables, and He did not speak to them without a parable. This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet: "I WILL OPEN MY MOUTH IN PARABLES: I WILL UTTER THINGS HIDDEN SINCE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD." After this Jesus disciples come to Him and ask Him to explain the parable of the tares of the field (a man who sowed good seed in the field).
And He said, "The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man, and the field is the world; and as for the good seed, these are the sons of the kingdom; and the tares are the sons of the evil one;
and the enemy who sowed them is the devil, and the harvest is the end of the age; and the reapers are angels.
So just as the tares are gathered up and burned with fire, so shall it be at the end of the age.
The Son of Man will send forth His angels, and they will gather out of the kingdom all stumbling blocks, and those who commit lawlessness; and will throw them into the furnace of fire; in that place there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Then The Righteous shall shine forth as the Sun in the kingdom of their Father,
He who has ears, let him hear . . .
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a dragnet cast into the sea, and gathering fish of every kind,
and when it was filled, they threw it up on the beach; and they sat down and gathered the good fish into containers, but the bad they threw away.
So it will be at the end of the age; the angels will come forth and take out the wicked from among the righteous, and will throw them into the furnace of fire,
in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
We are confronted in Matthew with a little shocking news; not all will be sons and daughters of the kingdom and those that are not will end up in a place which is described in two ways; a furnace of fire and a place where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
This little bit of information does not come from my imagination or made up by theologians to be placed in the canons of organized religion. It was proclaimed to us by Jesus as heard first hand by one of His disciples, Matthew, the tax collector.
Just as I cannot begin to comprehend God who made the heavens and the earth and created in them incredible beauty which ultimately speaks of Him, so too I cannot comprehend the anguish and pain of being separated from the love of God for eternity. Heaven I can dream of but what it really looks and feels like is mostly speculation. And Hell? It is not for me to downplay and suggest that Jesus didn't really know what He was talking about.
The world wants to ignore ultimate truth. It calls darkness light and says that God cannot judge because God is love.
God is love, but I don't get to define what that means. He is holy and righteous and worthy of all praise, and I only slightly understand what that all means. He is just, and I certainly only partly comprehend what His justice requires. Sometimes when I realize my ignorance I tremble. He is so much more than I can take in. Now I see through a glass darkly but one day I will see Him face to face.
We all know the verse from the 3rd chapter of John where Jesus says that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life and it goes on to say that God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.
Jesus then goes on to say;
He who believes in Him is not judged;
he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
This is the judgment,
that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.
It is time to step out of the darkness and into the light. It is time to humble oneself and learn that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I would rather witness to the joy and peace that He gives each and every day and tell you how I see my Lord in things both great and small. But we must also hear this clear warning. There is a place called a furnace of fire and in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. He who has ears, let him hear . . .
"Are there cold shimmering nights in Heaven where one stands in awe of what God has created?" I wondered. "Does the Eskimo think of Heaven being like this? Can man even comprehend the tenth of what awaits us?"
I have been reading the gospel of Matthew this month and in it Jesus tells a bunch of parables about the kingdom of Heaven. The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in the field . . . The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field . . . The kingdom of heaven is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three pecks of flour until is was all leavened . . . The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field . . . The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls . . . The kingdom of heaven is like a dragnet cast into the sea . . . The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard . . . The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son.
It says in Matthew 13: 34-35 All these things Jesus spoke to the crowds in parables, and He did not speak to them without a parable. This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet: "I WILL OPEN MY MOUTH IN PARABLES: I WILL UTTER THINGS HIDDEN SINCE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD." After this Jesus disciples come to Him and ask Him to explain the parable of the tares of the field (a man who sowed good seed in the field).
And He said, "The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man, and the field is the world; and as for the good seed, these are the sons of the kingdom; and the tares are the sons of the evil one;
and the enemy who sowed them is the devil, and the harvest is the end of the age; and the reapers are angels.
So just as the tares are gathered up and burned with fire, so shall it be at the end of the age.
The Son of Man will send forth His angels, and they will gather out of the kingdom all stumbling blocks, and those who commit lawlessness; and will throw them into the furnace of fire; in that place there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Then The Righteous shall shine forth as the Sun in the kingdom of their Father,
He who has ears, let him hear . . .
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a dragnet cast into the sea, and gathering fish of every kind,
and when it was filled, they threw it up on the beach; and they sat down and gathered the good fish into containers, but the bad they threw away.
So it will be at the end of the age; the angels will come forth and take out the wicked from among the righteous, and will throw them into the furnace of fire,
in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
We are confronted in Matthew with a little shocking news; not all will be sons and daughters of the kingdom and those that are not will end up in a place which is described in two ways; a furnace of fire and a place where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
This little bit of information does not come from my imagination or made up by theologians to be placed in the canons of organized religion. It was proclaimed to us by Jesus as heard first hand by one of His disciples, Matthew, the tax collector.
Just as I cannot begin to comprehend God who made the heavens and the earth and created in them incredible beauty which ultimately speaks of Him, so too I cannot comprehend the anguish and pain of being separated from the love of God for eternity. Heaven I can dream of but what it really looks and feels like is mostly speculation. And Hell? It is not for me to downplay and suggest that Jesus didn't really know what He was talking about.
The world wants to ignore ultimate truth. It calls darkness light and says that God cannot judge because God is love.
God is love, but I don't get to define what that means. He is holy and righteous and worthy of all praise, and I only slightly understand what that all means. He is just, and I certainly only partly comprehend what His justice requires. Sometimes when I realize my ignorance I tremble. He is so much more than I can take in. Now I see through a glass darkly but one day I will see Him face to face.
We all know the verse from the 3rd chapter of John where Jesus says that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life and it goes on to say that God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.
Jesus then goes on to say;
He who believes in Him is not judged;
he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
This is the judgment,
that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.
It is time to step out of the darkness and into the light. It is time to humble oneself and learn that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I would rather witness to the joy and peace that He gives each and every day and tell you how I see my Lord in things both great and small. But we must also hear this clear warning. There is a place called a furnace of fire and in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. He who has ears, let him hear . . .
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Grace
It seems to me quite ironic that in the Christian world it is the concept of what grace is that separates groups. Historically it has been East verses West, Luther verses Rome, Jansenist verses Jesuits, Calvinism verses Arminianism, Conservatives verses Liberals and so forth. Throw in the differing companion views concerning what is the depravity of man and eternal security and you have a church not quite ready to sit down together at the communion table.
I pray that the eyes of your heart
may be enlightened,
so that you will know what is the
hope of His calling,
what are the riches of the glory of
His inheritance in the saints,
and what is the surpassing greatness
of His power toward us who believe. (Eph:
1: 18-19)
It was
near the end of my 22nd
year when I asked Jesus to come into my heart as Savior and Lord.
Until then, and despite growing up in a religious environment, I had
walked in darkness. This darkness was not brought about because of
my actions, rebellious as they indeed were. It was there because I
did not know the Lord of light. My religion taught that my baptism
as an infant brought into my soul sanctifying grace which canceled
something I was born with, original sin, and that sanctifying grace
would stay with me unless I committed a mortal sin. I was taught
that because of baptism I was alive in Christ and would one day join
Him in eternity.
And you were dead in your trespasses
and sins,
in which you formerly walked
according to the course of this world,
according to the prince of the power
of the air,
of the spirit that is now working in
the sons of disobedience. (Eph:
2:1-2)
But I was not
alive in Christ. My spirit had not been reborn through baptism and I was the lord of my own soul. Oh yes, I knew about God. I knew that my church taught that Jesus died on the cross for
the sins of the world. I knew there was someone called the Holy
Spirit. But I did not actually know Jesus or comprehend God in the
slightest. I had nothing but theology to base hope on. My prayers
then were not a conversation with Someone who later on had changed my heart and
opened my eyes to a spiritual world that was just as real as the
physical. Although I fell quite short of living a holy life I
believed that I was as good as the next guy and that God, if He
really existed, would give me full credit for being a nice guy.
But God, being rich in mercy,
because of His great love with which
He loved us,
even when we were dead in our
transgressions, made us alive
together with Christ (by grace you
have been saved), (Eph: 2: 4-5)
It was finally when I realized that Jesus died for me, personally, that I asked Him to come into my heart and surrendered the lordship of my soul to Him. That was over 40 years ago and everything in my life changed; not because I adopted a set of religious beliefs but because it was now my desire to follow Him and be lead by his Holy Spirit where ever They would lead. The Word of God became alive to me and I would read it and study it and meditate upon it. In doing so I discovered that there were in my religion quite a large number of beliefs and practices that were not found in scripture, ran contrary to scripture, or were supported by certain scriptures used out of context.
For by grace you have been saved
through faith;
and that not of yourselves,
it is the gift of God;
not as a result of works, so that no
man can boast. (Eph: 2: 8-9)
My original church's concept of grace was one of these. To me it seems that in the above scripture grace simply means that God gave us salvation even though we didn't deserve it or work for it. We believe that Jesus death and resurrection were personally for us and God responds by doing something. Grace means that we have found favor with God.
But beginning in the 5th century St. Augustine started seeing grace as being a substance that could be produced, stored and then transferred mainly but not exclusively through (drum roll please) the sacraments of the church (thus requiring a priesthood). Grace was produced by the life, sufferings and death of Jesus (an immeasurable amount), the sufferings of martyrs, the anguish of Mary at seeing Jesus crucified and other like events. This grace is kept in a storehouse located somewhere in Heaven but managed by the church in partnership with God. Grace can also be produced through prayer and good works and doing religious acts that are proscribed by the administering church and these are credited to the account of the doer (but can be transferred to someone else).
Thus the view of salvation is that all are born with a soul that inherits the original sin of Adam and Eve. At baptism a soul is infused with the substance of grace which covers (but apparently does not dissolve) original sin and as long as that grace stays there a person will go to Heaven. All subsequent sin resides in the soul and needs an infusion of (actual) grace to cancel out or dissolve that sin. Somehow the church has determined that grace is not transferred in sufficient quantity during one's lifetime to remove all sin and so a soul when it's body dies must go to a holding place until such time as enough grace can be applied.
For we are His workmanship,
created in Christ Jesus for good
works,
which God prepared beforehand
so that we would walk in them.
(Eph: 2: 10)
When I surrendered my life to Jesus it cost me everything. I DIED IN CHRIST. In return my spirit was reborn and I became a new creation and the Holy Spirit resides in me. The struggle now is to yield my soul to what the Holy Spirit desires. Every day I desire my own will but am confronted with the fact that I am no longer the lord of my life.
I want to please Him. I want to be in His will. I want so desperately for others to know that all they see in this world is but an illusion and that there will be nothing better for them than to experience a life in Christ, free from the demands of this godless world. There are crowns in Heaven and though I do not live to earn a jewel in a crown I am often comforted by the thought that there are rewards for those that hold fast. Even then I am weak - but His grace is sufficient for me.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Josefina And Ignacio
During the course of a driving test today the dad of a Hispanic girl found out that I was a Christian and he told me this story:
Earlier in the 1900's two men traveled to a rural area in Mexico to a little village set in a valley. It was actually smaller than a village and more properly could be called a ranch. As they were greeting the local inhabitants they were told to avoid talking to a couple known as Josefina and Ignacio. "They are crazy" the people said. "They believe in a god who is everywhere."
The two men started thinking about this and they thought that if there was a god who was everywhere then he could be found on top of the local mountain. They climbed the mountain and started calling out; "God of Josefina and Ignacio. Where are you?" Again they called out louder; "God of Josefina and Ignacio. Where are you?" A third time they called out as loud as they could; "God of Josefina and Ignacio. Where are you?"
Just then there is lightning and thunder and the God of Josefina and Ignacio appears to them. They fall on their faces and begin to speak in tongues.
When they get up it is night and they notice that in the valley there is a house that is on fire. They head down to see it and at the same time the people of the village/ranch wrap rags and tar around large sticks to make touches and they go check out the burning house as well. When the locals get there they see the two men approaching. The faces of the two men are glowing.
The dad tells me that this was the beginning of the Assemblies of God Church in Mexico. The men later established a church there which was known as a tabernacle and started many other tabernacles throughout the region in Mexico also. He said that this story can be found in the annals of the Assemblies of God for Mexico.
"And what is your interest in this story?" I ask after we complete the test.
"One of those men was my uncle."
Earlier in the 1900's two men traveled to a rural area in Mexico to a little village set in a valley. It was actually smaller than a village and more properly could be called a ranch. As they were greeting the local inhabitants they were told to avoid talking to a couple known as Josefina and Ignacio. "They are crazy" the people said. "They believe in a god who is everywhere."
The two men started thinking about this and they thought that if there was a god who was everywhere then he could be found on top of the local mountain. They climbed the mountain and started calling out; "God of Josefina and Ignacio. Where are you?" Again they called out louder; "God of Josefina and Ignacio. Where are you?" A third time they called out as loud as they could; "God of Josefina and Ignacio. Where are you?"
Just then there is lightning and thunder and the God of Josefina and Ignacio appears to them. They fall on their faces and begin to speak in tongues.
When they get up it is night and they notice that in the valley there is a house that is on fire. They head down to see it and at the same time the people of the village/ranch wrap rags and tar around large sticks to make touches and they go check out the burning house as well. When the locals get there they see the two men approaching. The faces of the two men are glowing.
The dad tells me that this was the beginning of the Assemblies of God Church in Mexico. The men later established a church there which was known as a tabernacle and started many other tabernacles throughout the region in Mexico also. He said that this story can be found in the annals of the Assemblies of God for Mexico.
"And what is your interest in this story?" I ask after we complete the test.
"One of those men was my uncle."
Sunday, November 10, 2013
So I Gave A Ride To A Homeless Guy . . .
This has been quite a week at work for me.
First there were the two different women who on the same afternoon went berserk after finding out they failed their driving test. The woman from India, who was taking the test for the second time because she was driving on the wrong side of the road and blew through a stop sign the first time, sped up when a traffic light turned yellow and missed it by, oh, about 30 yards. Through tears she told me (I didn't know she could speak English because her husband was translating for her) that this is all so stupid and it shouldn't matter if she made one little mistake and she will never take another driving test again - EVER! I smiled and said that was OK and when I got out of the car and was walking away she began a tremendous rant on her husband, slamming the car door at least three times.
An hour after that came a 17 year old who had previously failed twice. She would not make eye contact with me and I could feel the heat the minute we began doing paperwork. She barely passes the parking lot portion so we go out for our drive and throughout the test Audrey is making exaggerated head checks but I can see from looking at her eyes in the rear view mirror that she indeed is looking but notices nothing. We are on busy 28th street and I tell Audrey to change lanes to the left when safe. She does her head check, looks right at the car in the other lane and starts to move over to the left. Her mom in the back seat says; "Audrey, NO". The other car beeps their horn and Audrey says; "What are they so hot and bothered about?" I look back at the mom and put my finger to my lips to indicate that she must keep quite. When get on the freeway and I again ask Audrey to change lanes to the left when safe. Three times she does her blind spot check, three times she begins to move left, three times there is a car there and three times her mom says; "Audrey, NO". By this time we are traveling 40 mph when the speed limit is 70 mph.
I explain all this to dear Audrey when we manage to get back to go, tell her that she failed because of the lane changes and the expressway speed, show her what she can do to correct the driving problems she has and then am not the least bit surprised when she does not take it well. "I AM ALMOST 18 YEARS OLD. MY LIFE IS OVER. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET A DRIVER'S LICENSE. I DID SO WELL ON THE PARKING AND THEN I FAIL THIS STUPID DRIVING". Her mother, who is part of Audrey's problem because she obviously has been making all of Audrey's driving decisions for her understands what I am saying and tries to calm her down but to no avail. "MOM, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I WILL NEVER TRY TO DRIVE AGAIN. I AM ALMOST 18 AND MY LIFE IS OVER". I smile and say it is time for me to leave and can hear Audrey ranting in the parked car for about another 10 minutes.
The next day I had an 18 year old guy who entered the residential area at the beginning of the driving portion of the test and went to the left side of the road, As we approached the first stop sign I tell Carlos to turn left. He positions his car on the left side of the road, turns left and now I'm wondering how long it will be before he corrects himself. There wasn't any other traffic so we go 4 blocks on the left side. When we turn left onto 32nd, a much busier street, Carlos begins to enter the left lane but sees a couple of cars approaching and swerves over to the right lane. We go immediately back to our parking lot and I tell Carlos; "If we were in England I might have better news for you."
Before Carlos showed up I had two other 18 year old guys on the same day who were sitting at a red light waiting to turn left and seeing no other traffic they begin to turn left. This also happened twice this week at another intersection with two young girls on a left turn but with traffic. Because there are other turning lanes but with out any cars needing to turn and those turning lanes prohibit through traffic from going my ladies see no one moving and they think perhaps they can turn left on red. Ah, no. I need to stop all four from proceeding any further. At least when we get back these guys and girls understood the error of their ways and despite failing seemed quite contrite.
Things lightened up a bit when I get into the car with bearded 42 year old Marquis. Even though the heater was working fine Marquis wears his fur lined winter gloves and hat the entire route. His upper front teeth are gold and he is decked out with diamond studs in his ears and a nice gold chain on one wrist with a gaudy watch on the other. The watch band is about 2 inches wide and the face about 5 inches in diameter and both have about 4 rows of either diamonds or more likely cubic zirconia. I couldn't resist myself so I say; "Marquis, what time is it?" Marquis says "Huh?" and then after about 30 seconds remembers that he has a watch so he stares at the two watch hands on the watch face that doesn't have any numbers for awhile before I have mercy on him and laugh and tell him that I like his watch.
I ask Marquis what he does for work and he informs me that he is disabled. When I ask what happened he tells me that he was just walking on a sidewalk one day and fell down. It turns out he needed a hip replacement which he got two years ago but his hip still hurts. Now the other hip is going bad. He doesn't know what he is going to do.
All of this warmed me up for today. My first client forgot to bring a required document but because they came quite early I was able to send them home to fetch it. This gave me time to walk over to the nearby gas station for a bathroom break. As I'm leaving the station store I'm met by a disheveled bearded guy about 50 years old who has a gallon of milk in one hand, a tiny red gas container in the other and two one dollar bills clutched in the hand with the milk. He asks me if I can give him a ride to his van which is parked on 36th street. Since that would only be a mile and since I had the time I told him I would.
As we are driving I introduce myself and he tells me his name is David. In a very low and gravely voice David says; "My van ran out of gas. I bummed two dollars off a woman at the station. I'm homeless and I live in my van. I don't know what to do." I ask him how long he has been living in his van and he tells me for 4 months. Then he repeats: "I'm homeless. I live in my van. I don't know what to do." David then asks me if I have ever been homeless. I tell him not really but that I'm now living with my mother-in-law so maybe that counts for something. Oh course it doesn't and tonight Jackie and I are in a nice warm bed after having something decent to eat and yesterday we were surrounded by a load of kids and grandkids at Piper's 5th birthday and we were all having a great time.
We get to David's beat up van which is parked at the back of an apartment complex. As he pushes himself out of my car holding his gallon of milk and half gallon of gas I hand him ten bucks and wish him God Bless. He says God Bless back then starts to pour the gas into his van. David is not all there and I don't know how to help him and although there are a number of places in Grand Rapids for David to stay and to get fed he still remains homeless. He lives in his van. He doesn't know what to do. There are things far worse than failing your driving test.
First there were the two different women who on the same afternoon went berserk after finding out they failed their driving test. The woman from India, who was taking the test for the second time because she was driving on the wrong side of the road and blew through a stop sign the first time, sped up when a traffic light turned yellow and missed it by, oh, about 30 yards. Through tears she told me (I didn't know she could speak English because her husband was translating for her) that this is all so stupid and it shouldn't matter if she made one little mistake and she will never take another driving test again - EVER! I smiled and said that was OK and when I got out of the car and was walking away she began a tremendous rant on her husband, slamming the car door at least three times.
An hour after that came a 17 year old who had previously failed twice. She would not make eye contact with me and I could feel the heat the minute we began doing paperwork. She barely passes the parking lot portion so we go out for our drive and throughout the test Audrey is making exaggerated head checks but I can see from looking at her eyes in the rear view mirror that she indeed is looking but notices nothing. We are on busy 28th street and I tell Audrey to change lanes to the left when safe. She does her head check, looks right at the car in the other lane and starts to move over to the left. Her mom in the back seat says; "Audrey, NO". The other car beeps their horn and Audrey says; "What are they so hot and bothered about?" I look back at the mom and put my finger to my lips to indicate that she must keep quite. When get on the freeway and I again ask Audrey to change lanes to the left when safe. Three times she does her blind spot check, three times she begins to move left, three times there is a car there and three times her mom says; "Audrey, NO". By this time we are traveling 40 mph when the speed limit is 70 mph.
I explain all this to dear Audrey when we manage to get back to go, tell her that she failed because of the lane changes and the expressway speed, show her what she can do to correct the driving problems she has and then am not the least bit surprised when she does not take it well. "I AM ALMOST 18 YEARS OLD. MY LIFE IS OVER. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET A DRIVER'S LICENSE. I DID SO WELL ON THE PARKING AND THEN I FAIL THIS STUPID DRIVING". Her mother, who is part of Audrey's problem because she obviously has been making all of Audrey's driving decisions for her understands what I am saying and tries to calm her down but to no avail. "MOM, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I WILL NEVER TRY TO DRIVE AGAIN. I AM ALMOST 18 AND MY LIFE IS OVER". I smile and say it is time for me to leave and can hear Audrey ranting in the parked car for about another 10 minutes.
The next day I had an 18 year old guy who entered the residential area at the beginning of the driving portion of the test and went to the left side of the road, As we approached the first stop sign I tell Carlos to turn left. He positions his car on the left side of the road, turns left and now I'm wondering how long it will be before he corrects himself. There wasn't any other traffic so we go 4 blocks on the left side. When we turn left onto 32nd, a much busier street, Carlos begins to enter the left lane but sees a couple of cars approaching and swerves over to the right lane. We go immediately back to our parking lot and I tell Carlos; "If we were in England I might have better news for you."
Before Carlos showed up I had two other 18 year old guys on the same day who were sitting at a red light waiting to turn left and seeing no other traffic they begin to turn left. This also happened twice this week at another intersection with two young girls on a left turn but with traffic. Because there are other turning lanes but with out any cars needing to turn and those turning lanes prohibit through traffic from going my ladies see no one moving and they think perhaps they can turn left on red. Ah, no. I need to stop all four from proceeding any further. At least when we get back these guys and girls understood the error of their ways and despite failing seemed quite contrite.
Things lightened up a bit when I get into the car with bearded 42 year old Marquis. Even though the heater was working fine Marquis wears his fur lined winter gloves and hat the entire route. His upper front teeth are gold and he is decked out with diamond studs in his ears and a nice gold chain on one wrist with a gaudy watch on the other. The watch band is about 2 inches wide and the face about 5 inches in diameter and both have about 4 rows of either diamonds or more likely cubic zirconia. I couldn't resist myself so I say; "Marquis, what time is it?" Marquis says "Huh?" and then after about 30 seconds remembers that he has a watch so he stares at the two watch hands on the watch face that doesn't have any numbers for awhile before I have mercy on him and laugh and tell him that I like his watch.
I ask Marquis what he does for work and he informs me that he is disabled. When I ask what happened he tells me that he was just walking on a sidewalk one day and fell down. It turns out he needed a hip replacement which he got two years ago but his hip still hurts. Now the other hip is going bad. He doesn't know what he is going to do.
All of this warmed me up for today. My first client forgot to bring a required document but because they came quite early I was able to send them home to fetch it. This gave me time to walk over to the nearby gas station for a bathroom break. As I'm leaving the station store I'm met by a disheveled bearded guy about 50 years old who has a gallon of milk in one hand, a tiny red gas container in the other and two one dollar bills clutched in the hand with the milk. He asks me if I can give him a ride to his van which is parked on 36th street. Since that would only be a mile and since I had the time I told him I would.
As we are driving I introduce myself and he tells me his name is David. In a very low and gravely voice David says; "My van ran out of gas. I bummed two dollars off a woman at the station. I'm homeless and I live in my van. I don't know what to do." I ask him how long he has been living in his van and he tells me for 4 months. Then he repeats: "I'm homeless. I live in my van. I don't know what to do." David then asks me if I have ever been homeless. I tell him not really but that I'm now living with my mother-in-law so maybe that counts for something. Oh course it doesn't and tonight Jackie and I are in a nice warm bed after having something decent to eat and yesterday we were surrounded by a load of kids and grandkids at Piper's 5th birthday and we were all having a great time.
We get to David's beat up van which is parked at the back of an apartment complex. As he pushes himself out of my car holding his gallon of milk and half gallon of gas I hand him ten bucks and wish him God Bless. He says God Bless back then starts to pour the gas into his van. David is not all there and I don't know how to help him and although there are a number of places in Grand Rapids for David to stay and to get fed he still remains homeless. He lives in his van. He doesn't know what to do. There are things far worse than failing your driving test.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
The Death Of Reason
Last week I had an interesting discussion with a guy named Roy who has been a missionary in France for the past 13 years. Ten per cent of the French population are Muslim Arabs who have immigrated or are descendents of immigrants from Northern Africa (France was a colonial power there) and that people group has been his main focus but the need for evangelism is great throughout the entire population.
Roy informed me that France is the most atheistic country in Western Europe with estimates that only one percent of the population have a personal relationship with Jesus. Although legally France has freedom of religion the vast majority of people believe it is ignorant to espouse belief in a higher power and people that do so are often ridiculed. The schools on the one hand teach the history of all the abuses of the organized church and on the other promote reasons not to believe in God.
In 1965 the percent of French claiming affiliation with the Roman Catholic Church was 87%. In 2005 the percent was down to 65%. with only 5% of those attending mass on a regular basis. Catholicism in France is now either only a cultural identification or if practiced is often intertwined with strong Marian belief and practices.
Roy said he knows many Catholics and ex Catholics who are believers. He said it can be difficult for the ex Catholics to evangelize their countrymen because they now recognize the spiritual deception found in certain aspects of Catholic faith and practice such as in Marianism and cannot get past the idea that the only solution is to completely break with the Catholic Church like they did. This of course puts the cart before the horse: First one needs to encounter Jesus personally and then they need to have the Holy Spirit be the One to lead when and where He wills. This is spiritual warfare 101. As an ex Catholic myself I can easily understand the emotions. I know other ex Catholics who at first were very bitter feeling that they had been spiritually deceived in the Catholic Church and bitterness is not a pathway too offer grace to others.
Roy told me that French history has much to do with the current state of Christianity in the country. Church and state were strongly intertwined throughout much of France's past. The Catholic Church were huge landowners, clergy were responsible for education and most civil records were kept by the Church. After the Reformation the Huguenots (French Calvinists) became a small but influential part of French politics and this eventually led to a pogrom in 1572 where tens of thousands of Huguenots were slaughtered. Guilt and slaughters obviously run both ways but in the 1700's a movement called The Enlightenment hit France. This eventually lead to the French Revolution which hated both monarchy and church. The revolution eliminated the monarchy, confiscated all property owned by the church, made the education system secular and controlled by the state and transferred all record keeping to the state. Reason was the new god, the Enlightenment authors the new apostles and woe to any who did not believe.
The Catholic Church initially survived in France but as a whole became much more focused on any of the practices and beliefs rejected by the Reformers. The Catholic Church's response to the rapid changes in science, industry, education and all the rest of the dawning new age was to embrace all that was "mystical" in Catholic practice and doctrine, especially regarding Mary. A religion emphasizing works, devotion and obedience which did not have as it's core the need to have a personal relationship with Christ, both recognizing Him as Savior and desiring Him as Lord, could not compete with a society and education system that was not just secular but anti faith as well.
Today the French value education above all else. They believe that education is the key to everything. Roy told me that the roads were getting bad and the French solution was to put more money into education so that people could learn to be better drivers. After years of that not working someone came up with the idea that maybe we should fix the roads. They did and the auto death rate dropped dramatically. Who knew?
Roy also told me that the French are the most pessimistic people in all of Europe. Yes they love and enjoy life but when it's over that's all there is. They grieve terrible when someone they know dies because they will never see them again and that's the end of that person's existence. If someone's wife were to die let's say in an auto accident and the person responsible were to get a slap on the wrist and only serve a few years in prison the family will be very bitter toward that person because he robbed them of the only time they could ever have with her. They feel cheated.
From time to time I have prayed for revival to come to France. It is the country of my name sake, Robert de la Berge who emigrated to New France (Canada) from the Normandy region in France in the 1600's. He and all the generations of LaBarges were Catholic until me. After my conversation with Roy I am struck by another concern as well. It seems that our country is where France was not that long ago. The government is moving more and more into controlling the education system and the influence of the state into all areas of life is continuing to expand every year. Gradually all references to God are being removed and people who defend traditional values are being ridiculed.
This is not an accident. Our society in America is being deliberately moved toward what atheistic and liberal Christian leaders see as the French ideal. Our countries spiritual DNA saw rights and freedoms as coming from God and treated man and government as imperfect. Many leaders prayed for guidance and gave public thanks to God for His blessings. Today we are being taught to believe that rights and freedoms come from the state and man is on the path to being more noble, albeit through education. And in the course of this all, step by step, we are surrendering our precious freedoms. This happens when anything like government or religion substitutes for the move of the Holy Spirit and has been wisely called the tyranny of Utopianism.
Utopia needs a strong leader over a strong state so that conditions will be "fair" for all. Although history has show us time and time again that it doesn't work the idea of Utopia motivates the man without faith who must also believe that man is basically good and will do what is right for society if he is only shown the perfection of reason.
But man cannot build a perfect world because he is imperfect and was designed by God to be dependent on Him and to be led by His Holy Spirit. Man cannot build a perfect world because the god of this world is in rebellion against the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. Man cannot build a perfect world because the greatest minds of this age are in the end not wiser that a simpleton who has trust in God.
I pray for revival to come to France and to come to America as well. I see in this not the tyranny of religion which demands obedience to a creed or belief but rather for the power of redeemed and changed lives to infuse society with faith, hope and love - and a rebirth of true reason.
Roy informed me that France is the most atheistic country in Western Europe with estimates that only one percent of the population have a personal relationship with Jesus. Although legally France has freedom of religion the vast majority of people believe it is ignorant to espouse belief in a higher power and people that do so are often ridiculed. The schools on the one hand teach the history of all the abuses of the organized church and on the other promote reasons not to believe in God.
In 1965 the percent of French claiming affiliation with the Roman Catholic Church was 87%. In 2005 the percent was down to 65%. with only 5% of those attending mass on a regular basis. Catholicism in France is now either only a cultural identification or if practiced is often intertwined with strong Marian belief and practices.
Roy said he knows many Catholics and ex Catholics who are believers. He said it can be difficult for the ex Catholics to evangelize their countrymen because they now recognize the spiritual deception found in certain aspects of Catholic faith and practice such as in Marianism and cannot get past the idea that the only solution is to completely break with the Catholic Church like they did. This of course puts the cart before the horse: First one needs to encounter Jesus personally and then they need to have the Holy Spirit be the One to lead when and where He wills. This is spiritual warfare 101. As an ex Catholic myself I can easily understand the emotions. I know other ex Catholics who at first were very bitter feeling that they had been spiritually deceived in the Catholic Church and bitterness is not a pathway too offer grace to others.
Roy told me that French history has much to do with the current state of Christianity in the country. Church and state were strongly intertwined throughout much of France's past. The Catholic Church were huge landowners, clergy were responsible for education and most civil records were kept by the Church. After the Reformation the Huguenots (French Calvinists) became a small but influential part of French politics and this eventually led to a pogrom in 1572 where tens of thousands of Huguenots were slaughtered. Guilt and slaughters obviously run both ways but in the 1700's a movement called The Enlightenment hit France. This eventually lead to the French Revolution which hated both monarchy and church. The revolution eliminated the monarchy, confiscated all property owned by the church, made the education system secular and controlled by the state and transferred all record keeping to the state. Reason was the new god, the Enlightenment authors the new apostles and woe to any who did not believe.
The Catholic Church initially survived in France but as a whole became much more focused on any of the practices and beliefs rejected by the Reformers. The Catholic Church's response to the rapid changes in science, industry, education and all the rest of the dawning new age was to embrace all that was "mystical" in Catholic practice and doctrine, especially regarding Mary. A religion emphasizing works, devotion and obedience which did not have as it's core the need to have a personal relationship with Christ, both recognizing Him as Savior and desiring Him as Lord, could not compete with a society and education system that was not just secular but anti faith as well.
Today the French value education above all else. They believe that education is the key to everything. Roy told me that the roads were getting bad and the French solution was to put more money into education so that people could learn to be better drivers. After years of that not working someone came up with the idea that maybe we should fix the roads. They did and the auto death rate dropped dramatically. Who knew?
Roy also told me that the French are the most pessimistic people in all of Europe. Yes they love and enjoy life but when it's over that's all there is. They grieve terrible when someone they know dies because they will never see them again and that's the end of that person's existence. If someone's wife were to die let's say in an auto accident and the person responsible were to get a slap on the wrist and only serve a few years in prison the family will be very bitter toward that person because he robbed them of the only time they could ever have with her. They feel cheated.
From time to time I have prayed for revival to come to France. It is the country of my name sake, Robert de la Berge who emigrated to New France (Canada) from the Normandy region in France in the 1600's. He and all the generations of LaBarges were Catholic until me. After my conversation with Roy I am struck by another concern as well. It seems that our country is where France was not that long ago. The government is moving more and more into controlling the education system and the influence of the state into all areas of life is continuing to expand every year. Gradually all references to God are being removed and people who defend traditional values are being ridiculed.
This is not an accident. Our society in America is being deliberately moved toward what atheistic and liberal Christian leaders see as the French ideal. Our countries spiritual DNA saw rights and freedoms as coming from God and treated man and government as imperfect. Many leaders prayed for guidance and gave public thanks to God for His blessings. Today we are being taught to believe that rights and freedoms come from the state and man is on the path to being more noble, albeit through education. And in the course of this all, step by step, we are surrendering our precious freedoms. This happens when anything like government or religion substitutes for the move of the Holy Spirit and has been wisely called the tyranny of Utopianism.
Utopia needs a strong leader over a strong state so that conditions will be "fair" for all. Although history has show us time and time again that it doesn't work the idea of Utopia motivates the man without faith who must also believe that man is basically good and will do what is right for society if he is only shown the perfection of reason.
But man cannot build a perfect world because he is imperfect and was designed by God to be dependent on Him and to be led by His Holy Spirit. Man cannot build a perfect world because the god of this world is in rebellion against the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. Man cannot build a perfect world because the greatest minds of this age are in the end not wiser that a simpleton who has trust in God.
I pray for revival to come to France and to come to America as well. I see in this not the tyranny of religion which demands obedience to a creed or belief but rather for the power of redeemed and changed lives to infuse society with faith, hope and love - and a rebirth of true reason.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Nd
I had a dream earlier this week, admittedly fueled by my dinner of Hungry Howies pizza and chased down with a couple handfulls of cheddar Gold Fish crackers, where I remembered that my nephew Peter Johnson had invented a new word.
If you knew Peter you would understand that since he is just the type of fellow to invent new words and actually have a chance of getting them accepted into the English language that this would not seem strange to me in any way.
Leaving the house where we were and remembering that Peter had added to our language I spun around, went back inside and asked him what that word was again. Peter told me it was "nd" (pronounced nid but spelled nd for brevity sake). The meaning is akin to "I don't care" or "it doesn't matter to me" and probably has it's origins in the phrase "I do Not give a Damm".
My mind must have picked this up from a recent statement of Peter's on Facebook where he commented that since Boston and St. Louis were his two least favorite teams he would be thinking instead about next year's World Series when his KC team would finally rise to the top (or - Nd on this year's World Series). My somewhat logical dream intersected Peter's impossible dream and so there you have it, a new word is birthed.
Later on that night I had a dream where I was in the back yard of the house I grew up in on 31st street in Holland. The house had been sold two years ago to a Vietnamese woman who was now selling it and her son was ripping down branches from a willow tree in the back corner with members of his gang but were being told to stop by a group of a dozen high school band students who arrived on the property in formation dressed in their UCLA blue shorts and shirts. I could go on from here but then you might be prompted to share one or more of your dreams with me and really, nd.
If you knew Peter you would understand that since he is just the type of fellow to invent new words and actually have a chance of getting them accepted into the English language that this would not seem strange to me in any way.
Leaving the house where we were and remembering that Peter had added to our language I spun around, went back inside and asked him what that word was again. Peter told me it was "nd" (pronounced nid but spelled nd for brevity sake). The meaning is akin to "I don't care" or "it doesn't matter to me" and probably has it's origins in the phrase "I do Not give a Damm".
My mind must have picked this up from a recent statement of Peter's on Facebook where he commented that since Boston and St. Louis were his two least favorite teams he would be thinking instead about next year's World Series when his KC team would finally rise to the top (or - Nd on this year's World Series). My somewhat logical dream intersected Peter's impossible dream and so there you have it, a new word is birthed.
Later on that night I had a dream where I was in the back yard of the house I grew up in on 31st street in Holland. The house had been sold two years ago to a Vietnamese woman who was now selling it and her son was ripping down branches from a willow tree in the back corner with members of his gang but were being told to stop by a group of a dozen high school band students who arrived on the property in formation dressed in their UCLA blue shorts and shirts. I could go on from here but then you might be prompted to share one or more of your dreams with me and really, nd.
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