This has been quite a week at work for me.
First there were the two different women who on the same afternoon went berserk after finding out they failed their driving test. The woman from India, who was taking the test for the second time because she was driving on the wrong side of the road and blew through a stop sign the first time, sped up when a traffic light turned yellow and missed it by, oh, about 30 yards. Through tears she told me (I didn't know she could speak English because her husband was translating for her) that this is all so stupid and it shouldn't matter if she made one little mistake and she will never take another driving test again - EVER! I smiled and said that was OK and when I got out of the car and was walking away she began a tremendous rant on her husband, slamming the car door at least three times.
An hour after that came a 17 year old who had previously failed twice. She would not make eye contact with me and I could feel the heat the minute we began doing paperwork. She barely passes the parking lot portion so we go out for our drive and throughout the test Audrey is making exaggerated head checks but I can see from looking at her eyes in the rear view mirror that she indeed is looking but notices nothing. We are on busy 28th street and I tell Audrey to change lanes to the left when safe. She does her head check, looks right at the car in the other lane and starts to move over to the left. Her mom in the back seat says; "Audrey, NO". The other car beeps their horn and Audrey says; "What are they so hot and bothered about?" I look back at the mom and put my finger to my lips to indicate that she must keep quite. When get on the freeway and I again ask Audrey to change lanes to the left when safe. Three times she does her blind spot check, three times she begins to move left, three times there is a car there and three times her mom says; "Audrey, NO". By this time we are traveling 40 mph when the speed limit is 70 mph.
I explain all this to dear Audrey when we manage to get back to go, tell her that she failed because of the lane changes and the expressway speed, show her what she can do to correct the driving problems she has and then am not the least bit surprised when she does not take it well. "I AM ALMOST 18 YEARS OLD. MY LIFE IS OVER. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET A DRIVER'S LICENSE. I DID SO WELL ON THE PARKING AND THEN I FAIL THIS STUPID DRIVING". Her mother, who is part of Audrey's problem because she obviously has been making all of Audrey's driving decisions for her understands what I am saying and tries to calm her down but to no avail. "MOM, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I WILL NEVER TRY TO DRIVE AGAIN. I AM ALMOST 18 AND MY LIFE IS OVER". I smile and say it is time for me to leave and can hear Audrey ranting in the parked car for about another 10 minutes.
The next day I had an 18 year old guy who entered the residential area at the beginning of the driving portion of the test and went to the left side of the road, As we approached the first stop sign I tell Carlos to turn left. He positions his car on the left side of the road, turns left and now I'm wondering how long it will be before he corrects himself. There wasn't any other traffic so we go 4 blocks on the left side. When we turn left onto 32nd, a much busier street, Carlos begins to enter the left lane but sees a couple of cars approaching and swerves over to the right lane. We go immediately back to our parking lot and I tell Carlos; "If we were in England I might have better news for you."
Before Carlos showed up I had two other 18 year old guys on the same day who were sitting at a red light waiting to turn left and seeing no other traffic they begin to turn left. This also happened twice this week at another intersection with two young girls on a left turn but with traffic. Because there are other turning lanes but with out any cars needing to turn and those turning lanes prohibit through traffic from going my ladies see no one moving and they think perhaps they can turn left on red. Ah, no. I need to stop all four from proceeding any further. At least when we get back these guys and girls understood the error of their ways and despite failing seemed quite contrite.
Things lightened up a bit when I get into the car with bearded 42 year old Marquis. Even though the heater was working fine Marquis wears his fur lined winter gloves and hat the entire route. His upper front teeth are gold and he is decked out with diamond studs in his ears and a nice gold chain on one wrist with a gaudy watch on the other. The watch band is about 2 inches wide and the face about 5 inches in diameter and both have about 4 rows of either diamonds or more likely cubic zirconia. I couldn't resist myself so I say; "Marquis, what time is it?" Marquis says "Huh?" and then after about 30 seconds remembers that he has a watch so he stares at the two watch hands on the watch face that doesn't have any numbers for awhile before I have mercy on him and laugh and tell him that I like his watch.
I ask Marquis what he does for work and he informs me that he is disabled. When I ask what happened he tells me that he was just walking on a sidewalk one day and fell down. It turns out he needed a hip replacement which he got two years ago but his hip still hurts. Now the other hip is going bad. He doesn't know what he is going to do.
All of this warmed me up for today. My first client forgot to bring a required document but because they came quite early I was able to send them home to fetch it. This gave me time to walk over to the nearby gas station for a bathroom break. As I'm leaving the station store I'm met by a disheveled bearded guy about 50 years old who has a gallon of milk in one hand, a tiny red gas container in the other and two one dollar bills clutched in the hand with the milk. He asks me if I can give him a ride to his van which is parked on 36th street. Since that would only be a mile and since I had the time I told him I would.
As we are driving I introduce myself and he tells me his name is David. In a very low and gravely voice David says; "My van ran out of gas. I bummed two dollars off a woman at the station. I'm homeless and I live in my van. I don't know what to do." I ask him how long he has been living in his van and he tells me for 4 months. Then he repeats: "I'm homeless. I live in my van. I don't know what to do." David then asks me if I have ever been homeless. I tell him not really but that I'm now living with my mother-in-law so maybe that counts for something. Oh course it doesn't and tonight Jackie and I are in a nice warm bed after having something decent to eat and yesterday we were surrounded by a load of kids and grandkids at Piper's 5th birthday and we were all having a great time.
We get to David's beat up van which is parked at the back of an apartment complex. As he pushes himself out of my car holding his gallon of milk and half gallon of gas I hand him ten bucks and wish him God Bless. He says God Bless back then starts to pour the gas into his van. David is not all there and I don't know how to help him and although there are a number of places in Grand Rapids for David to stay and to get fed he still remains homeless. He lives in his van. He doesn't know what to do. There are things far worse than failing your driving test.
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