You Know The Test Might Not Go Well When . . .

From this week:

You know a test might not go well when the woman waves me over to the car window just before doing a  reverse parking maneuver using our rental car.  "Excuse me sir" says the Chinese woman, who is taking the test even though, according to her instructor who phoned me earlier, she is not ready to drive but her husband, a doctor at a downtown medical center, insists she take the test now because he needs someone to drive him around,  "This car does not want to move."  I look in the car and see that the gear is in reverse so I tell her; "Take your foot off the brake and put it on the gas."  The car jumps back about 4 feet.  My lady does not make it pass the parking lot portion of the test for which I thank God but she asks me as she leaves; "How soon can I take test again?"

You know a test might not go well when an 18 year old young man arrives with his mother and I thought at first his girl friend but later on realize that it was his sister and he freaks out when I ask for his permit.  "My permit!  I forgot my permit!" says Greg.  His sister calmly informs Greg that his permit is in his wallet.  "Where is my wallet?!!"  His sister calmly informs Greg that his wallet is in his coat.  "Where is my coat?!!!!!!!  His mother calmly informs Greg that his coat is in the back seat of the car.

"It looks like you need women in your life" I say to Greg to which he responds; "Women!  All they ever want to do is shop!"  Then actually stomping his foot on the ground Greg declares; "And all I want to do is to go bowling!"  We do the paperwork (his mom hands me the registration and insurance) and then begin the parking lot portion of the test.  As Greg sets himself up for the reverse parking he puts his car at a funny angle and then, without being instructed to, gets out of the car.  "What are you doing Greg?" I ask.  "Oh, I don't know.  Just stretching my legs I guess."

Greg gets back into his vehicle and actually passes the parking.  At the first left turn on the driving portion I have to keep him from turning left in front of the oncoming traffic so I start routing us back to go.  On our way I notice that Greg drives with his right eye closed.  A trick he must have learned bowling I suppose.  Greg did not have an explanation at our debriefing at the end for why he drives one eyed and I was going to ask Jackie today if he corrected that little problem but she informed me that today Greg did not make it out of the parking lot.

You know a test might not go well when Songoro signs the test sheet at the beginning and his signature does not match the one on his permit.  Both are one of those scribbly signatures that is more form than name. The permit also says his height is 5'2 and this guy looks at least 5'8.  I ask to see his Michigan ID.  The photo is this guy's and the signature on the ID is exactly the same as what he signed for me on the test sheet and the height is also listed at 5'2.  Sometimes people actually change their signature so I ask Songoro to match on the line above what he did on the driving permit.  When he has difficulty even beginning to do so I ask him to get out of his car and confirm for myself that he is no where close to 5'2.

I end the test at this point, tell him to go back to the Secretary of State and get a permit that matches his, get the usual protest that this is unfair and then Songoro informs me that maybe he will not come back here.  I've had these document conflicts before.  They never come back.