Friday, July 24, 2015

Hush Little Baby

Hush little baby don't you cry
daddy's gonna sing you a lullaby
and when that lullaby is gone
daddy's gonna tell you a sad sad song

Tell me little child what you're worth
even if we didn't see your birth
they bid on your parts and found a price
over a lunch that seemed so nice

You might have been a fab poet
writing our thoughts so we'd know it
you might have sung a happy tune
and we'd be dancing from dawn till noon

Oh dear sweetie where did you go
they said you were nothing but how did they know
several more months and the sun would've shine
but for you there was never time

Hush little precious one two three
tossed in the trash so no one'd see
out of sight and out of mind
but your tiny spirit lives on in time

Shuss my honey don't be sad
if your mommy knew you she'd be glad
maybe in the darkness she couldn't cope
but you had potential and so much hope

Hmm Hmm Hmm now quiet dear
you'll never have a worry or a fear
um um um our song is done
waiting for the judgment's that bound to come


Sunday, July 19, 2015

Eight Ball, Side Pocket

My favorite elementary school teacher had to be Sister Mary Kenneth who taught 8th grade and was principle at St. Francis de Sales school. She stood about 5'1", wore the full black and white habit, and one enduring memory is having watched her get mad at 6' tall, 200 lb. Mike Fink.

I had never even seen Sister Mary Kenneth get upset before but when Big Mike had the audacity to talk back to her one day the transformation in our sweet little nun was amazing. She picked up her ruler and headed straight for Mike. Big Mike actually screamed and ran away. After 3 laps around the classroom, Sister Mary Kenneth's robes flowing behind her, Mike still yelling, he found the door to the hallway and made his escape.

At that point we thought the good Sister was going to have a heart attack. She sat down on one of the students desk chairs trying to catch her breath. Mike was back in class the next day, not another word was said about it and no one ever again tried to talk back to our dear leader.

Another memory of mine about Sister Mary Kenneth, apart from her wrong prediction that I would one day end up in politics, is a story she told our class one day. She was talking about a saint so and so. When he was young and a seminary student he was playing pool with a few other seminarians.

The question came up about what would you do if you knew that you only had 2 hours to live. One of the boys said he would immediately get down on his knees and pray. Another said that he would head straight for church and have the priest hear his confession. A third talked about writing a letter to everyone he had wronged to ask their forgiveness.

Saint so and so had a different kind of answer. He said that he had already taken care of his business with God and so he might just as well keep playing pool.

Some years later, long after Sister Mary Kenneth was gone, I returned to that class room and gave a talk to the students. I told them that everyday for years I would sit in a desk just like theirs, look up at the crucifix hanging on the front wall and yet never realized that when Jesus died on the cross it was actually for me personally that He died. That only came after I had graduated from a Catholic college, having been an atheist my entire time there.

One night at one of our family prayer meetings our Aunt Virginia shared about a scripture that she said changed her life. She had been a believer her entire life, studied the Bible constantly and taught Sunday school for many years. She had a brother who was a minister, another brother (my father-in-law) who was a very popular Bible teacher who had also introduced her to the Baptism in the Holy Spirit.

Virginia was reading from the 6th chapter of Romans where it says:

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death? Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.

There is a lot more before and after this in Romans to the argument that Paul is making about who we are in Christ Jesus, all leading to the great statement in Romans 8: 1-2;

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death.

Aunt Virginia had spent her whole life striving to be the best Christian she could be. The problem with that, even though she had no doubt concerning her salvation, is nothing she ever did seemed to be enough. While reading that passage in Romans it finally became clear to her. Even though she was still living in the same fleshly body and her soul struggled with doing what she could to be good, her old self was truly dead. She was in Christ Jesus and nothing could change that.

This thought was liberating. It didn't mean that now she could now go out and live a carnal life. That was never her desire. It did mean that if she fell short everything was still OK. The Father loved her, Jesus had saved her, the Holy Spirit was working in her life and would do so as long as long as she was willing to listen.

There are a lot of people just like my Aunt Gin. They know and love their Lord and Savior, are good parents, spend time in prayer and in the Word, are the first to reach out to others in their time of need and give of their own time and talents to serve the local church. But the tactics of the enemy toward the believer are just the same as they have always been.

The enemy does not want there to be peace in our hearts; 'It is not enough, you know how weak you really are, there is another level of experience that you are missing.'

The enemy wants to fill us with religious pride; 'They really need you here, no one else can do this the way you do, you work harder than all the rest.'

The enemy wants to replace being led by the Spirit with good sounding but carnal religious actions; 'Follow the 12 step path of Christ to the center, repeat this written prayer 3 times a day, this is the formula for blessing.'

I am a weak person but I do know that Jesus has redeemed me, changed me, and given me newness of life. Like saint so and so I have settled my business with God. There will always be more that He desires for me because of His great love for me and so when I am willing He gently takes me by the hand and leads me on.

Life will always be busy. It will always be crazy. The enemy will always lie to us and cheat because that is his nature. I had only one shot but that's all I needed and I'll call it for you right now. I have been baptized into the death and resurrection of my Christ Jesus and He has given me new life. Take that enemy! Eight ball, side pocket, game over.





Saturday, July 11, 2015

Greek Fire

The other morning I was standing in my shower, happily singing in tongues to a tune that reminded me of liturgical singing, and I thought that I would sing out in English as the Spirit led me.

The night before I had been wondering about and researching what the possible consequences would be to Greece defaulting on their debt and how I should be preparing for a chain reaction that might effect our economy and banking system.

At church the day before that I sat behind a pastor I knew whose wife is Greek and they had just returned from a vacation visiting family in Greece.  While they were there people were only allowed to withdraw a maximum of 67 dollars U.S. per day from their bank accounts. The economy of Greece is only about the size of Alabama's, 2 per cent of the Eurozone, but they have a huge debt they cannot pay and there are several other European countries with unsustainable debt loads waiting in the wings. If the dominoes start to fall a banking crisis could lead to other continents and then to the U.S. in a very short time.

This is what the Lord led me to sing in English:

"There are ways that seem right to man.

There are ways that are right to God."

Pretty simple huh? It would have been nice to have gotten more but that's all that seemed right.

The thought was pretty much what I had read in Proverbs the night before and perhaps that was the connection my brain or my spirit or both were making:

The plans of the heart belong to man,

But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.  (Proverbs 16:1)

The financial crisis in Greece did not just happen over night. The country is run by stringent communist who have for years paid for all the wonderful benefits they provide for the population through borrowed money. Eventually they could not afford even the interest payments and their creditors have demanded that they make major concessions such as reducing benefits so they can have the means to pay what they owe. The communist government actually has a lot of potential assets because they own just about all the major industries as well as a lot of swell property but the hard liners do not want to privatize or to encourage a capitalist system that would develop anything for a profit.

The tactic for the Greeks now and for their socialist brethren in other countries including America is to ignore the fact that debts ultimately do need to be paid and instead ask the creditors how they can do something so awful to all those poor people in Greece. But the day to pay up has come and whatever happens from here out will not be pretty.

There will come a day when the U.S. will have to pay up. Apart from our tremendous current debt (over 18 trillion and growing) and our future unfunded social promises (100 trillion by conservative accounting, or over 200 trillion by global warming type accounting) we have a shrinking per cent of the population working (67.4 per cent compared to 70.9 per cent in 2008) to support an ever increasing per cent of the population that receives government benefits (i.e. there are now over 47 million getting food stamps).

How do we make up the difference? Well, we can reduce spending but that won't happen in today's politics until there is a major crisis. We can increase taxes (not for you and me but for the rich. When the majority votes to take more money from a small minority I call that stealing but politics calls it "fairness") We can grow the economy, get more people working in the private sector and thus paying taxes. But then some people might get rich and that's no good. So,you guessed it. We make up the difference by borrowing more money.

If a number of countries get caught up in this current debt crisis and countries start to pull out their money from U.S. banks things could quickly get ugly here. I am not saying it is going to happen soon but I am saying that things do not always stay the same and the wise thing is to think things through so that you will have a plan and not need to panic when and if the time comes.

What makes me wonder is that there have been major setbacks in the markets aligned with a major Jewish feast in the fall of 2001 and the fall of 2008. This fall marks the end of another 7 year period and is also the end of the series of blood moons and eclipses happening in the last 2 years.

What also makes me wonder is that I sense a tidal shift of anti Christian feeling. Although I pray that it will lead to revival and to a greater maturity for the current church I can also see a further falling away from orthodox beliefs and an oncoming persecution for those that hold fast to Biblical truth.

Pastor Craig Miller wrote a blog post on May 30th which had a quote from the retired Archbishop of Chicago, Cardinal Francis George, a theological conservative within the Roman Catholic Church who was not afraid to express his views on issues from abortion to the gay rights movement. "He often expressed concern over what he believed was the eroding of religious liberty in the U.S."

Cardinal George died on April 17 and here is a statement he made before his death.

"It is likely that I will die in my bed. My successor will die in prison. His successor will die executed in the public square."

George goes on to see the Catholic Church eventually picking up the pieces of a broken society and I see rather the second coming of Jesus but I was struck because we both have the same concern. Social norms are rapidly changing and the government and courts are and will heavily penalize those who express opposition.

We are not yet to the point where mobs will drag us out of our beds because of our Christian beliefs but we are naive if we believe that it could never happen here. Just this week I read a political article shared on FB which used these interesting phrases to describe certain presidential candidates: "Religious tribalism", "Folksy nonsense about Jesus", "Dark Ages version of Christianity", "prehistoric ideas on social issues" and "ugly bigotry toward the LGBT community". To you and me those thoughts may seem far to the fringe but to a lot of the younger population in our country this is what they hear day in and day out and it is gospel.

What is surprising is not that the world does not agree with traditional conservative Christian beliefs but that those who say they value tolerance are less and less tolerant toward Christian's who do not remain silent in word or deed. And they seem to be getting more emotional about it. But I guess this is what should be expected, isn't it?

So what should we do if there is a banking crisis, or a food shortage, or riots in the street?

The plans of the heart belong to man,
But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.

I can tell you from personal experience that no matter what happens God is in control of our lives and we need to learn to pray like we've never done before, search the Word for wisdom daily and trust, trust, trust that God will provide and see us through. The worse things get the more we will gain by giving and sharing what we have. The more crazy the world gets against the truth of scripture the more we need to proclaim it in love. Cast your cares upon the Lord and even in the midst of the storm He will give you peace.

Remember,

There are ways that seem right to man.
There are ways that are right to God.












Sunday, June 28, 2015

Love Wins

A couple of years ago a guy whom I will call Sam went into the local Family Christian Bookstore to look for a gift. Sam was about 30 years old at the time, single, and gay. As he was heading to the checkout line he noticed a painting of Jesus that was displayed on the wall. While he was looking at the picture he started to cry - didn't know why he was crying, had no apparent reason to be crying but he just couldn't stop.

Standing behind him in line was a lady who asked Sam if he was alright. Sam told her that it just happened when he started looking at the painting of Jesus. The lady said a few kind words to Sam and invited him to her church. Sam came the next Sunday, the lady introduced him to a few people including the pastor, Sam came again the next week and he surrendered his life to Jesus.

A few weeks later Sam noticed a few strange changes. The color of the bedroom in his apartment was lavender and he didn't like the color anymore. He went out to lunch with a friend and thought the waitress was attractive. He had never had that kind of feeling for any woman before.

A couple of months later he attended a Freedom In Christ workshop where one of the counselors was an elder at the church he was now attending regularly. Freedom In Christ is a deliverance ministry based on the ministry of Neil Anderson, an evangelical pastor. A lot of times when a person experiences trauma or great fear, commits certain types of sin or feels greatly rejected, perhaps even as an unwanted infant in the womb, these events create openings for evil spirits to latch onto an individual.

A normal session involves going through certain areas of a person's life, identifying what the Word of God says about those areas and letting the Holy Spirit reveal to the person if this is an area that needs attention. If it is the person will verbalize that they agree with the wisdom that was given from scripture, will confess any part they might have had opposed to the will of God in that area and will renounce the action or thought and will forgive anyone else who may have wronged them in that area. This destroys most footholds that evil spirits have and they often leave as easy as breathing out a little bad gas. The final step for the counselor is to provide the person solid scripture based advice on how to stay free.

Usually, because everyone's life is complicated there are several sessions needed to fully cover everything. With Sam it was different. The spiritual oppressions were very deep and intertwined and there were a lot of tears and emotions. Most of the other counselors had never seen any thing quite like it. The session went on for over 6 hours and by the end of it Sam was more free than he had ever been.

Personally I have not met Sam but I do know the lady who was behind Sam at the checkout counter, the pastor and the elder. The reason I share this today is because homosexual, transgender and any other side area of the LBGT world and lifestyle have at their root a spiritual deception that leads away from the will of God and toward misery, inprisionment and finally death. My heart aches for all those so bound as well as for those who go beyond love and acceptance of the person and think that by approving of that life style they are adding something positive.

I will not give here a listing of all that the Word of God says about homosexual activity. It should simply be enough to say that scripture from beginning to end is consistent in saying that ANY sexual activity outside of a marriage between a man and a woman is not the will of God. Desires, no matter how early evidenced, do not change the Word of God.

There is a lie, crafted by the enemy, that portrays God as angry and distant. The enemy tells us that God does not want us to be happy while at the same time making sure that we feel condemned and powerless. The enemy imparts fear and then uses that very fear to drive us away from the love of God. The enemy makes this rebellion outwardly look attractive while at the same time concealing how awful and depraved it truly is.

I remember talking to a cousin of my wife who is a doctor. He had been late to the reception because one of his clients had AIDS and needed some special help at that time. When I made some (to him) stupid remark about being careful he told me I had no idea what type of life these people were living. The average young gay male has hundreds of different partners at all sorts of different locations. That was many years ago and perhaps because of AIDS things have changed a little, maybe.

The average first sexual encounter for gay men is at 12 1/2 years old compared to 16 1/2 years old for heterosexuals. The average gay man is 3 times more likely to have been sexually abused as a child then a heterosexual, Because many gay men will not list their early encounters as abuse if they experienced sexual pleasure with it the actual statistic for homosexuals is 7 times that of heterosexuals.

When we are talking about gay marriage you should be aware that a study of over 500 married gay couples found that over 50% had sex outside their marriage with their partners consent. Another 30% had other sexual encounters without their partners consent. Gay men, just like heterosexuals, and especially as they grow older want to have a stable loving relationship with another person. But most gay men still struggle with lust for different and exciting sexual encounters.

Love wins when we align ourselves with the One who loves us. We find out who we are in our manhood when we find out who we are in Christ. Here are some selections from the First Letter of John:

This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you,
that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.

If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness,
we lie and do not practice the truth;

but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light,
we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.

By this we know that we have come to know Him,
If we keep His commandments.

Do not love the world nor the things of the world.
If anyone loves the world the love of the Father is not in him.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes 
and the boastful pride of life is not from the Father, but is from the world.

The world is passing away, and also its lusts;
but the one who does the will of God lives forever.

See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us,
that we would be called children of God; and such we are.

The one who practices sin is of the devil; for the devil has sinned from the beginning.
The Son of God appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil.

We have come to know and have believed the love that God has for us.
God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

By this love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgement;
Because as He is, so also are we in this world.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear . . .
We love, because He first loved us.

So there you have it. Love, true love, always wins.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Through The Looking Glass

Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Agreed to have a battle;
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,
As black as a tar-barrel;
Which frightened both the heros so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.

English nursery rhyme based on Through The Looking Glass


Sometimes I get asked if I ever give driving tests to any really odd characters. Well, honestly, yes, it happens all to often. I have seen every type of piercing and hair fashion and tattoo art and style of clothing. People show up for their tests barefoot, without a driver's permit, high and not smelling to good. Every week there is a collection of ex cons, foreigners from places I never knew existed and non conformists who have not had a license for decades because they did not want to pay a hundred dollar fine and the State pissed them off but after 15 years they finally realized that the State always wins. 

Last week I was out on a drive and I get a call from Jackie whom I am working with that day and she tells me that she just wants me to know that my next client who is there waiting has a very large knife strapped to his belt. My wife was worried for me. How nice!

I greet Jordan who is 37 years old, shaped a lot like either Tweedledum or Tweedledee. His hair starts in the middle of the top of his head and goes straight and long back, he has those things that look like large rubber washers in the middle of his ear lobes, a long red goatee, and the aforementioned giant knife on his side.

When I tell Jordan that he needs to put his knife in the back before we begin our drive he is very agreeable, pulling the weapon out of it's scabbard and laying it on the seat. It is then that I notice the length of the handle is about 10 inches and the size of the blade is about 2 1/2 inches. A glorified box cutter.

As we are driving along I notice on Jordan's left arm a lone tattoo of the old cartoon character Underdog ("neither bird not plane nor even frog, it's just little o me, Underdog!") I say to Jordan - "You have an Underdog tattoo! Why on earth do you have an Underdog tattoo?"

"It reminds me of my mother" he says. "We used to watch that together when I was a kid."

Then to my surprise Jordan shows me the companion tattoo on his right arm. "This is Super Chicken." Getting quite excited now Jordan chuckles to himself and blurts out - "They used to make Super Chicken do some really crazy stuff man!" It is not often that I am speechless but this was one of them.

Perhaps you live in a nice boring world where every thing is sane and predictable and you're not chasing some crazy rabbit carrying a time piece. Mean while, I wait for my next client.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Then And Now

I had quite a surprise this week, but first a little background.

It is recorded in the second chapter of Acts that on the day of Pentecost 120 people were gathered together in one place in Jerusalem and "all were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues as the Spirit was giving them utterance".  Devout Jews from every nation heard in their own languages those men and women "speaking of the mighty deeds of God".

Peter stands with the other apostles and explains to the crowd what has just happened;

"This is what was spoken of through the prophet Joel; 'And it shall be in the last days God says that I will pour forth of My Spirit on all mankind; And your sons and your daughters shall prophecy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams; even on my bond slaves, both men and women, I will in those days pour forth of My Spirit, and they shall prophesy' ".

The gifts of the Holy Spirit, including speaking in other tongues and prophesying, enabled the early Church to grow and mature. There are numerous passages in Acts which show that tongues and prophesy were considered a normal part of any Christians life. Unfortunately history records that these and many of the other gifts of the Holy Spirit and how they are supposed to operate personally and corporately gradually became more and more unusual and less and less understood.

The gifts of tongues and the gifts of prophesy are much more varied than just speaking a language that other men understand or foretelling future events. Praise the Lord the operation and understanding has been restored in these days to a large part of the Church. And it began to happen in a very interesting way.

Any time there is a great revival, where hundreds and thousands and even millions of men and women come under conviction of sin and surrender their lives to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, it has been the work of the Holy Spirit that inspires and equips the leaders, that draws the crowds, that convicts of sin, that sets free the prisoner, that heals and delivers, that creates the desire and gives the ability to live a holy life, that proclaims truth and rejects error and that inspires the joy that only the redeemed can understand.

Beginning in the 1700's there were revivals in different parts of the world that had evidence of the operation of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, including speaking in tongues and speaking prophetically. But the idea that these gifts should be commonplace in the Church had not yet taken hold. In the later part of the 1800's there were a number of groups and ministers who did begin to believe that gifts such as tongues were for today as well as speculating that tongues would actually be a sign that a believer had also been filled with an infusion of the power of the Holy Spirit.

Then in 1901 an interesting thing happened. Let me quote here from The International Directory of Pentecostal and Charismatic Movements in it's biography of Charles Parham;

"In the summer of 1900 Parham embarked on a tour of Holiness religious centers. The focus of his 12 week journey was Frank W. Sandford's Holiness commune in Shiloh, ME. Impressed with the emphasis throughout the Holiness movement on a "latter rain" outpouring of the Holy Spirit, Parham sought for himself a greater personal manifestation of this power. Through Sanford, he heard isolated reports of xenolalic tongues as missionaries. (My Note: "xenolalic" means actually speaking in a language that can be understood, as in Acts 2. Also, isn't it interesting that even today mainline denominational missionaries go abroad and get the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Just last month one of the main Baptists branches allowed their missionaries to continue to speak in tongues 'as a prayer language'.) Privately he drew great significance from the discovery.

Parham returned to Topeka in Sept. 1900 and optimistically secured quarters for a Bible school to prepare prospective missionaries for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit power. In an elaborate old mansion on the edge of town , he taught his students the essentials of Holiness doctrine and challenged them to search for the true evidence of Holy Spirit reception. He strategically directed them to the account of Acts 2 where xenolalic tongues sparked the initial phase of Christian growth, and on Jan. 1, 1901, one of Parham's students (Agnes Ozman) experienced the expected blessing and sign. During the next few days, Parham and about half of his student body of 34 were likewise baptized."

Now here is the exciting part, at least for me. My name is Robert LaBarge. In 1659 a Robert LaBerge emigrated from France to New France (Canada), the only person by that surname to have done so. One of his descendants, a Joseph LaBerge, in 1806 canoed from the Quebec area of New France to St. Louis, changing his name to LaBarge. He is my direct ancestor. In the book mentioned above it's biography of Agnes Ozman says that she was assured a place in Pentecostal history when she became the first to speak in tongues at Charles Parham's Bethel Bible College. After giving her background it goes on to say that subsequent to her tongues experience in 1901 "she returned to city mission work. In Lincoln in 1906 she heard about Pentecostalism, related her earlier experience, and identified with the emergent movement. In 1911 she married Pentecostal preacher Philemon LaBerge. The two traveled about the country holding meetings where ever possible. In 1917 LaBerge affiliated with the Assemblies of God, receiving credentials as an evangelist."

For years I had thought that perhaps I was the first LaBarge who had left the Catholic Church (although I had received my Charismatic experience while a Catholic) for the green pastures of evangelical thought. Now I find out that, like a lot of things apparently, I was a little slow on the uptake. It sort of makes you feel that you are part of something in God's plan that is much bigger and more complex than one would ever realize.

Agnes and Philemon LaBerge were at the beginning of a movement that according to Pew research in 2011 now numbers over 500 million Pentecostals and Charismatics world wide. The Spirit is moving, lives are being changed, the gifts have been restored and it is now common place for men and women to pray in the Spirit. I speak or sing in tongues several times throughout the day, every day. It's a family thing.







Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Fiction Meets Fact

This Sunday Jackie was away watching some of our grand kids so I was able to sit back and do some channel surfing. I stopped for a few moments to watch a scene from an old James Bond movie. In it Sean Connery as Bond rings an apartment bell and a female voice invites him in. Bond is pretending to be a man named Franks who was supposed to pick up a load of diamonds from the woman to smuggle them out of the country.

The woman greats Bond/Franks while dressed stylishly in her underwear, tells him to pour himself a drink, takes his empty glass and goes back to her bedroom/lair to get dressed, dusts the glass for fingerprints then takes a photo of the prints and opens up an armoire revealing a large screen TV/computer, inserts the photo into a print reader and gets the confirmation on the screen that the prints match that of the diamond smuggler Franks. Putting on a black lacy see through covering over her underwear she heads back to Bond/Franks and returns the glass but Bond's keen sense of smell notices that his prints have been I D'd. Later on we see Bond talking on the phone with spy gadget genius Q thanking him for the fake latex print we see him pealing off his thumb.

Monday morning before Jackie and I leave for work we get an urgent call from our boss telling us that we need to get finger printed TODAY!!! He instructs us to head to the main office where we will get the proper forms and when we get there he will tell us where to go to get the job done. Every 5 years people like us who conduct road tests for the State of Michigan need to get re-fingerprinted and evidently the person from the company in charge of maintaining our files was a little lax in letting us know that the 5 years were up.

Since Jackie is still in her underwear I tell her to put on something nice and we soon head out and pick up our forms at the office. We get there just as the boss does and when we head inside there is another guy on the phone with the place that does the fingerprinting trying to make sure that we can get in ASAP. As we are rushing to the location Jackie fills out our forms and asks me how to spell Caucasian. "Is it t-i-a-n- or s-i-a-n?" We agree on s-i-a-n and find the office which fortunately is only a slight detour from our regular route into work.

The fingerprint place is in a suite at an office building. There is a front parking lot and a back parking lot. Jackie tells me to park up front but since I have been there before I head to the lower back lot which I think might be faster because I know that the entry ways in front go to different businesses. The back lot has construction going on and is empty and I must do as my sweet wife kindly first suggested and go back and park up front.

We take about 4 turns through several hall ways up and down stairs and eventually find the fingerprint office. The door is open but the guy is not there. He does get back in a few moments and we each get a turn to place our fingers on a print reader. These are displayed on a computer screen not that much different that the one in the Bond movie (well, theirs did need an large armoire to hold and ours were on a thin screen desk top plastic swivel base). I was the first to go and mine took about 10 minutes because the print reader was having a little problem getting a good shot. Perhaps it was the fact that the guy was standing next to me, hip to hip while holding my hand and my extended fingers were a little tight. When he got to Jackie the machine went "blip, blip, blip" and hers took about 2 minutes. I did tell the guy to watch it because this was the first time in over 43 years that any man but me had held those dainty little hands.

Fingerprinting done I drive about 80 mph to make it to our test side on time and then inform my first client after he is doing 30 in a 25 zone that he needs to stay at the speed limit or below or he may fail his driving test. My next client is a black woman, um, African American woman, who happens to tell me while on the test that she has a Caucasian uncle. "Caucasian" I mumble to myself, "C - a - u - c - a - S - I -A - N."